RBWYOF        I 


ONivefwwv  OF 

CALIKCRNIA 

SAM  WiOO 


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The  Fruits  of  Culture 


A   COMEDY  IN   FOUR   ACTS 


BY 

COUNT  LEO  TOLSTOI 

TRANSLATED    BY 

GEORGE    SCHUMM 


BOSTON,  MASS. 

Ben  J.  R.  Tucker,  Publisher, 

i89t 


COPYRIGHT, 
*^  BY    BENJ.    R.    TUCKER, 

1890. 


THE  FRUITS  OF  CULTURE. 


THE   CAST. 


Leonid  Fedorovitch  Svesdinzeff,  a  lieutenant  of 
the  Cavalry  Guard  a.  D.,  proprietor  of  24,000  desja- 
tines  in  the  various  provinces.  A  vigorous  man  of 
about  sixty,  deferential,  affable,  gentlemanly.  He  is 
a  believer  in  Spiritualism,  and  takes  pleasure  in  start- 
ling people  by  the  recital  of  his  stories. 

Anna  Pavlovna  Svesdinzeff,  his  wife,  a  stout,  bloom- 
ing lady,  with  the  desire  of  appearing  young.*  She 
entertains  a  strict  regard  for  the  conventional  social 
forms,  esteems  her  husband  lightly,  and  puts  a  blind 
trust  in  her  physician.     An  easily  excitable  lady. 

Betsy,  their  daughter,  a  young  lady  of  high  society, 
about  twenty  years  old.  She  is  free  in  her  manners, 
wears  eyeglasses,  flirts  desperately,  and  laughs  much. 
She  talks  very  rapidly  and  very  distinctly  by  moving 
her  lips  briskly  like  a  foreigner. 

Vassili  Leoniditch,  their  son;  twenty-five  years  old, 
Dr.  juris,  without  a  practice,  member  of  the  Bicycle 
Club,  the  Race  Club,  and  the  Society  for  the  Breed- 
ing of  Greyhounds.  A  young  man  of  excellent 
health  and  imperturbable  self-possession.  He  talks 
loud  and  abruptly.  Now  perfectly  serious,  almost 
gloomy;  now  excessively  gay,  and  laughing  bois- 
terously. 


4  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Alexei  Vladimirovitch    Krugosvetloff,  professor. 

V  A  sava7it,  about  fifty  years  old,  with  quiet,  deferen- 
tial, and  self-possessed  manners  in  society,  and  a 
similar  slow  singing  speech.  He  likes  to  hear  him- 
self talk.  He  maintains  a  contemptuous  reserve 
towards  those  who  do  not  agree  with  him.  A  great 
smoker.     A  lean,  restless  man. 

The  Physician,  a  healthy,  corpulent  man  of  about 
forty,  with  ruddy  face.  Noisy  and  blunt.  With  a 
self-complacent  smile. 

Maria  Konstantinovna,  a  girl  of  about  twenty,  a  stu- 
dent at  the  Conservatory,  with  bangs,  excessively 
modern  dress,  and  of  an  insinuating  and  timid  dis- 
position. 

Petristcheff,  age  twenty-eight,  philologist,  Dr.^  on  the 
look-out  for  a  position,  member  of  the  same  societies 
as  Vassili  Leoniditch,  and,  besides,  of  the  Society 
for  the  Arrangement  of  Dances  for  Girls  of  the  Com- 
mon People,  bald-headed,  vivacious  in  movement 
and  speech,  very  courteous. 

The  Baroness,  a  distinguished  lady  of  about  fifty;  her 
movements  are  ponderous,  and  she  talks  in  a  mono- 
tone. 

The  Princess,  a  lady  of  the  world,  a  guest. 

The  Princess's  Daughter,  a  young  lady  of  high  so- 
ciety, a  guest ;  she  makes  faces. 

The  Duchess,  an  old-fashioned  lady,  who  is  hardly 
able  to  move  about,  with  false  locks  and  teeth. 

GroSSMANN,  of  dark  complexion  and  Jewish  type,  very 
lively,  nervous ;  he  talks  very  loud. 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  5 

A  Fat  Lady,  Maria  Vassilievna  Tolbuchin,  a  very 
distinguished,  rich,  and  good-natured  lady,  ac- 
quainted with  all  the  celebrities  of  the  past  and 
present.  She  is  very  fat,  talks  rapidly  in  order  to 
silence  the  rest.     She  smokes. 

Baron  Klingen  (Koko),  Doctor  of  the  University  of 
St.  Petersburg,  chamberlain,  an  officer  of  the  em- 
bassy. Perfectly  correct,  therefore  of  a  tranquil 
mind  and  serenely  happy. 

A  Lady. 

A  Proprietress  (dumb  person). 

Sachatoff,  Sergei  Ivaxovitch,  about  fifty,  Director 
of  the  Ministry  a.  D.  An  elegant  gentleman  of  mag- 
nificent European  culture.  He  is  without  employ- 
ment, and  takes  an  interest  in  all  things.  His  car- 
riage is  dignified,  indeed  even  somewhat  reserved. 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  chamberlain,  nearly  sixty.  An  edu- 
cated man,  striving  after  culture.  He  uses  his  eye- 
glasses and  his  pocket-handkerchief,  which  he  slowly 
unfolds  too  liberally.  He  also  takes  an  interest  in 
politics.     A  sensible  and  good  man. 

Gregori,  lackey,  twenty-eight  years,  a  handsome  fellow, 
but  dissolute,  envious,  and  insolent. 

Jacob,  forty  years,  butler,  a  restless,  good-natured  man, 
who  concerns  himself  only  about  the  family  affairs 
of  the  peasants. 

Semion,  kitchen  boy.  A  healthy,  fresh-looking  peasant 
boy,  blonde,  still  beardless,  quiet,  with  a  friendly 
smile. 


6  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

The  Coachman,  thirty-five  years.  A  fop,  he  lets  only 
his  moustache  grow ;  rude  and  positive. 

The  Old  Cook,  forty-five  years,  with  bristly  hair,  un- 
shaven, bloated  yellowish  face,  and  trembling  hands, 
in  a  ragged  Nanking  spring  overcoat,  dirty  panta- 
loons, and  torn  shoes ;  he  is  hoarse.  He  utters  his 
words  as  if  he  had  first  to  overcome  an  obstacle. 

The  Cook,  a  gossip ;  she  is  discontented,  about  thirty 

years  old. 
The  Steward,  a  retired  soldier. 

Tania,  chambermaid,  nineteen  years  old,  an  energetic, 
strong,  jolly  girl,  with  quickly  changing  moods.  In 
moments  of  powerful  joyous  excitement,  she  squeals. 

First  Peasant,  sixty  years,  formerly  alderman  of  the 
town;  thinks  he  knows  how  to  associate  with  gen- 
tlemen, and  likes  to  hear  himself  talk. 

Second  Peasant,  forty-five  years,  proprietor,  rude  and 
downright,  a  man  of  few  words.     Semion's  father. 

Third  Peasant,  seventy  years,  in  bast  shoes,  nervous, 
restless,  always  in  a  hurry,  shy;  he  tries  to  drown 
his  shyness  by  words. 

First  Footman  of  the  Duchess.  An  old  man  of  the 
old  type,  with  the  vanity  of  his  class. 

Second  Footman,  a  healthy,  coarse  giant. 

A  Parcel  Carrier.  In  blue  jacket,  with  clean,  ruddy 
face.  He  talks  with  decision,  impressively  and  dis- 
tinctly. 

The  action  takes  place  at  the  capital  in  the  house  of  the 
Svesdinzeffs. 


ACT  I. 

The  stage  represents  the  hall  of  a  wealthy  house  in 
Moscow.  Three  doors :  the  outer  door,  the  door  of 
Leonid  Fedorovitch's  study,  and  the  door  of  Vassili 
Leoniditch's  roofn.  A  stairway  leads  to  the  sitting 
rooms  J  back  of  the  stairs  a  passage  to  the  buffet. 

Scene  I. 

Gregori  (a  young,  handsome  lackey;  views  himself  in 
the  glass  and  makes  himself  fine). 

Gregori.  Too  bad  about  that  moustache.  A 
lackey,  their  highnesses  say,  must  not  have  a 
moustache.  And  why  ?  That  everybody  may 
know  you  are  a  lackey.  One  might  easily  cut 
out  their  darling  son.  Hm,  bah  !  even  without 
a  moustache  I  can  challenge  him.  (  Vieivs  him- 
self stni  ling  in  the  glass.)  And  how  many  girls 
run  after  me !  But  I  like  none  so  well  as  this 
Tania.  Only  a  chambermaid!  Well  —  yes! 
But  still,  prettier  than  the  gracious  young  lady. 
{Smiles.)  And  comely  she  is !  {Listens.)  I 
hear  her  coming!  {Smiles.)  And  how  shci 
clatters  with  her  heels  .  .  .  Ha ! 


8  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  II. 

Gregori  and  Tania  with  a  fur  jacket  and  bootlets. 

Gregori.  Your  humble  servant,  Miss  Ta- 
tiana! 

Tania.  What,  always  before  the  glass?  You 
surely  think  you  are  very  handsome  ? 

Gregori.     Am  I  then  not  good-looking  ? 

Tania.  So  so,  neither  handsome  nor  ugly, 
something  between  the  two.  What's  the  mean- 
ing of  all  these  furs  hanging  about  here  } 

Gregori.  I  shall  instantly  remove  them, 
Miss.  {He  takes  down  a  fur,  puts  it  on  Tania, 
and  embraces  her.')  Tania,  what  I  was  going  to 
say  to  you  ... 

Tania.  Get  you  gone  with  your  saying  !  Is 
this  proper }  {She  tears  herself  angrily  away.) 
I  say,  let  me  alone  ! 

Gregori  {looking  around).   Do  give  me  a-kiss  ! 

Tania.  What  are  you  thinking,  anyway.-*  I 
will  give  you  such  a  kiss.  .  .  .  {She  lifts  her 
arm    to   strike.) 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  {A  bell  rings  behind  the 
scene,  then  he  calls)     Gregori ! 

Tania.  You  see !  Go  in  there,  your  master 
calls ! 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  9 

Gregori.  He  can  wait ;  he  has  but  just 
opened  his  eyes.  Tell  me,  why  do  you  not  love 
me  ? 

Tania.  What  are  you  talking  about  loving  ? 
I  love  nobody  ! 

Gregori.  Not  so!  You  love  Semka!  He 
is  of  the  right  sort,  a  kitchen  boy  with  red 
paws  ! 

Tania.  Be  he  what  he  may,  yet  you  are 
jealous  of  him  ! 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi  (behind  the  scene).     Greg-  v 
ori!! 

Gregori.  You  can  wait!  .  .  .  It's  worth  while 
to  be  jealous  of  him  !  Is  it  for  that  you've 
got  your  culture,  to  set  your  cap  for  him  ?  If 
you  loved  me,  that  would  be  something  ... 
Tania  ... 

Tania  {angry  and  severe).  I  say  it  is  all  in 
vain. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {behind  the  sccjie).  Greg- 
ori!! ! 

Gregori.     You  are  awfully  severe. 
Vassili  LeoniditcJi   {behind  the  scene,  calling 
persistently,    monotonously,    and    ivith    all   his 
might).     Gregori,  Gregori,  Gregori ! 

(Tania  and  Gregori  laugh.) 


lO  TJic  Fruits  of  Culture 

Gregori.  If  you  knew  what  sort  of  girls  have 
been  sweet  on  me ! 

( The  bell  rings ^ 

Tauia.  Go  to  your  master  now,  and  let  me 
alone. 

Gregori.  I  see  you  are  stupid.  Of  course, 
I  am  not  Semion. 

Tania.  Semion  thinks  of  marrying,  and  not 
of  fooling. 

Scene  III. 

Gregori,  Tania,  and  Parcel  Carrier  {carries  a  large 
box  with  a  dress). 

Carrier.     Good  morning ! 

Gregori.     Good  morning  !     From  whom  } 

Carrier.  From  Bourde  the  dress,  and  here 
is  a  letter  for  the  lady. 

Tania  {takes  the  letter).  Sit  down,  I  will  de- 
liver it.     {Exit.) 

Scene  IV. 

Gregori,  Carrier,  and  Vassili  Leoniditch  {appears 
in  shirt-sleeves  and  slippers  at  the  door). 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Gregori ! 
Gregori.  Command  me,  Sir ! 
Vassili  Leoniditch.     Gregori,  are  you  deaf  .-• 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  1 1 

Gregori.     I  have  just  come. 
Vassili  Lconiditch.     Warm  water  and  tea ! 
Gregori.     Semion  will  bring  it  immediately. 
Vassili  Leoniditch.    And  what'.s  that .''    From 
Bourdiet } 

{Exeunt  Vassili  Leoniditch  and  Gregori.     The  bell 
rings.) 

Carrier.     Your  servant,  Sir  ! 


Scene  V. 

Carrier  and  Tania  {enters  and  opens  the  door). 

Tania  {to  the  Carrier  ).     Wait ! 
Carrier.     I  am  waiting. 

Scene  VI. 
Carrikk,  Tania,  and  Sachatoff  {enters). 

Tania.  Pardon  me,  Sir,  the  lackey  went 
away  this  moment.  But  please  to  come  nearer. 
Permit  me.     {Takes  off  his  fur.) 

Sachatoff  {arranging  his  dress).  Is  Leonid 
Fedorovitch  at  home  }     Already  up  .-* 

{The  bell  rings. \ 

Tania.     Certainly.     Long  ago ! 


12  The  Fruits  of  Culture 


Scene  VII. 
The  Same.     The  Physician  {enters). 

Physician  (looking  around  for  the  lackey.  He 
cbservcs  Sachatoff,  deferentially).  Ah,  I  have 
the  honor? 

Sachatoff  {looking  sJiarply).  The  doctor,  if  I 
mistake  not  ? 

Physiciajt.  And  I  had  thought  you  were 
abroad.  Did  you  come  to  see  Leonid  Fedoro- 
vitch  ? 

Sachatoff.  Yes.  And  you  .-'  Is  somebody  ill 
perhaps  .'' 

PJiysician  {smiling).  Well,  not  exactly  ill, 
but  you  know  what  trouble  we  have  with  the 
ladies !  Till  three  o'clock  each  day  she  sits  at 
the  card  table,  and  off  and  on  indulges  in  a 
glass,  too.  And  withal  she  is  fat  and  stout, 
and  carries  a  few  years  on  her  back  moreover, 

Sachatoff.  Do  you  give  Anna  Pavlovna  also 
your  diagnosis  so  plainly }  I  imagine  that 
would  hardly  please  her. 

Physician  {laugJiing).  What,  am  I  not  right.'' 
They  indulge  themselves  in  all  sorts  of  ways, 
impaired  digestion  follows,  pressure  on  the 
liver,   nervous    troubles, —  the    whole   train    of 


TJie  Fndts  of  Culture  13 

ills ;  then  we  are  to  mend  the  mischief.  They 
give  us  no  end  of  trouble  !  {He  smiles)  And 
you,  are  you  not  also  a  Spiritualist  ? 

SacJiatoff.  I  ?  No,  I  am  not  also  a  Spiritual- 
ist. .  ,  .  Well,  good  bye  !  {He  ivattts  to  go  ;  the 
physician  holds  him  back.) 

Physician.  No,  no,  I  don't  entirely  deny 
Spiritualism  either  ;  if  a  man  like  Krugosvetloff 
espouses  the  cause.  How  were  it  possible,  too.'' 
A  professor,  of  European  fame.  Surely  there 
must  be  something  in  it.  I  should  like  to 
attend  one  of  their  seances.  But  I  cannot  well 
afford  the  time,  one  is  so  busy. 

SacJiatoff.  Yes,  I  readily  believe  you. —  Good 
bye  !     {Exit  zvith  a  slight  salute.) 

Physician  {to  Tania).     Up  already  .'' 

Tania.  They  are  in  the  bedroom.  Please, 
just  enter. 

(Sachatoff  and  the  Physician  leave  b^  different  doors.) 


Scene  VIII. 

Carrier,  Tania,  and  Fedor  Ivanitch  {enters  holding 
a  newspaper). 

Fedor  Ivanitch  {to  the  Carrier).     What  do  you 
want  ? 


14  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Carrier.  The  dress  from  Bourde  and  a 
letter.     I  was  told  to  wait. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Ah,  from  Bourdiet !  {To 
Tania.)     Who  has  just  been  here  .-' 

Tania.  Sachatoff  and  the  doctor.  They 
stood  here  a  little  while  and  talked,  only  about 
Spirituism. 

Fedor  Ivanitch  {correcting).  About  Spiritual- 
ism. 

Tania.  I  said  so,  about  Spirituism.  Have 
you  already  heard,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  how  well 
everything  went  off  last  time.'*  {She' laughs.) 
There  were  rappings,  and  things  flew  through 
the  air. 

Fedor  Foanitch.     How  do  you  know  that } 

Tania.     The  young  lady  said  so. 


Scene  IX. 

Tania,    Fedor   Ivanitch,   Carrier,  and  Jacob,   the 
butler  {rushing  in  with  a  glass  of  tea). 

Jacob  {to  the  Carrier).     How  do  you  do } 
Carrier  {gloomy).     How  do  you  do  ? 
(Jacob  knocks  at  Vassili  Leoniditch's  door) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  15 

Scene  X. 

The  Same  and  Gregori. 

Gregori.     Let  me  have  it. 
Jacob.     The  glasses  of  yesterday  have  not  yet 
been  returned,  nor  the  tray  from  Vassili  Leoni- 
ditch's.     But  I  am  held  responsible. 

Gregori.  The  tray  is  in  his  room,  full  of 
cigarettes. 

Jacob.  Then  put  them  somewhere  else.  For 
I  am  asked  for  it. 

Gregori.     I'll  fetch  it,  I'll  fetch  it ! 
Jacob.     I'll  fetch  it, —  yes,  where  is  it  .-*     Just 
when  one  needs  it  most  it  is  not  here. 

Gregori.  But,  I  tell  you,  I'll  fetch  it.  Don't 
make  such  a  fuss  ! 

Jacob.  It's  easy  for  you  to  talk,  but  I  —  for 
the  third  time  I  am  ordered  to  serve  tea,  pre- 
pare breakfast.  Forever  up  and  down,  that's 
the  way  it  goes  from  day  to  day.  Who  works 
harder  than  I  in  this  house  .■'  And  always  there 
is  fault  to  be  found. 

Gregori.  Where  is  there  a  more  efficient 
person  .''     Indeed,  very  efficient. 

Tania.  In  your  eyes  there  is  but  one  who  is 
efficient,  you  .  .  . 


1 6  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Grcgori  {to  Tania).  You  have  not  been 
asked !     {Exit.) 

Scene  XI. 

Tania,  Jacob,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  and  the  Carrier. 

Jacob.  Well,  it's  all  right,  I  don't  feel  hurt. 
Miss  Tatiana,  didn't  her  ladyship  have  any- 
thing at  all  to  say  about  yesterday  t 

Tania.  About  the  lamp ,-' 
Jacob.  How  was  it  possible  that  it  could  fall 
out  of  my  hand  !  God  knows.  I  was  just 
going  to  wipe  it,  barely  touched  it  —  bang, 
there  it  lay.  All  in  small  pieces.  I  am  always 
unlucky  !  It's  easy  for  Gregori  Michailitch  to 
talk,  he  is  single,  but  when  one  has  a  family 
one  must  keep  his  senses  together,  if  he 
wants  to  be  fed.  I  am  not  afraid  of  work. 
So  she  hasn't  said  a  word  }  Thank  God  !  How 
many  tea-spoons  have  you,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  one 
or  two } 

Fedor   Ivanitch.     One,    one.     {Reading    the 

newspaper^ 

(Exit  Jacob.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  ly 


Scene  XII. 

Tania,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  anci  the  Carrier.  A  bell 
rings.  Gregori,  with  a  tray,  and  the  Steward 
enter. 

Stczvard  {to  Gregori).  Tell  his  lordship,  peas- 
ants from  the  village  are  here. 

Gregori  {pointing  to  Fedor  FoanitcJi).  Tell 
the  chamberlain,  I  have  no  time.     {Exit.) 


Scene  XIII. 

Tania,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  Steward,  and  the  Carrier. 

Tania.     Where  do  the  peasants  come  from } 
Steward.     From  the  neighborhood  of  Kursk, 
I  think. 

Taiiia  {squeals).  It's  they  .  .  .  That  is  S em- 
ion's  father,  on  account  of  the  land.  I  shall  go 
meet  theni.     {Runs  away?) 

Scene  XIV. 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  the  Steward,  and  the  Carrier. 

Steivard.  What's  to  be  done .-'  Shall  I  ad- 
mit them,  or  what .''  They  say  —  on  account  of 
the  land,  his  lordship  knows. 


1 8  TJte  Fruits  of  Culture 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     Yes,  on  account  of  the  pur- 
chase of  the  land.     That  is  so.     There  is  a  vis- 
itor with  him  now.     Go  say  they  must  wait. 
Steward.     But  where  shall  they  wait  .■' 
Fedor  Ivanitch.      They   are   to   wait   in    the 
court,  I  will  have  them  called. 

(Exit  Steward.) 


Scene  XV 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  Tania,  three  peasants  following  her., 
Gregori,  and  the  Carrier. 

Tania.     To  the  right.     Here,  here  ! 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Did  I  not  tell  you  not  to 
bring  them  here.'' 

Gregori.     Yes,  yes,  she  is  like  quicksilver. 

Tania.  Never  mind,  Fedor  Ivanitch,,  they 
will  stand  here  in  the  corner. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     They  will  soil  everything. 

Tania.  They  have  scraped  their  feet,  and  I 
will  scrub  again.  {To  the  peasants.)  Stand 
here, 

{The  peasants  enter,  carrying  bundles  of  wheat-bread^ 
eggs,  and  towels  for  presents.  They  are  looking  for 
the  crucifix  in  the  corner.  They  cross  themselves  in 
the  direction  of  the  stairs,  bow  before  Fedor  Ivan- 
itch, and  stand  up  stiffly  against  the  wall.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  19 

Gregori  {to  Fedor  FoanitcJi).  Fedor  Ivanitch ! 
People  say  only  Pironn^  can  make  bootlets; 
just  look  at  this  one's  boots  !  {He points  to  the 
tliird peasa)it  in.  bast  shoes.) 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     You  must  always  poke  fun 

at  people. 

{Exit  Gregori.) 

Scene  XVI. 
Tania,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  and  the  three  peasants. 

Fedor  Ivanitch  {rises  and  approaches  the  peas- 
ants). So  you  are  from  Kursk .''  You  have 
come  to  see  about  that  land  purchase  .'' 

Fij'st  Peasant.  So  it  is,  Sir !  That  is,  so  to 
speak,  we  are  here  to  complete  the  purchase  of 
the  land.     If  his  lordship  could  be  told  of  this } 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Yes,  yes,  I  understand,  I 
understand.  Wait  here,  and  I  will  at  once  let 
him  know.     {Exit.) 

Scene  XVII. 

Tania  and  the  three  peasants,  Vassili  Leoniditch  {be- 
hind the  scene).  The  peasants  look  around;  they  are 
embarrassed,  uncertain  what  to  do  with  the  presents. 

First  Peasant.  What  do  you  call  it  .  .  .  that 
...  I  don't  know  what  they  call  it  ...  on  which 


20  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

to  put  this,  properly,  so  that  it  looks  like  some- 
thing.    A  plate  or  what  ? 

Tania.  Let  me  see,  let  me  see.  Just  hand 
it  over,  meanwhile  it  may  lie  here.  {She  puts 
the  things  on  the  settee.) 

First  Peasant.  What  position,  so  to  speak, 
does  the  gentleman  occupy  who  spoke  to  us  } 

Tania.     He  is  the  chamberlain. 

First  Peasant.  Simply,  chamberman.  That 
means  something  like  always  around  his  lord- 
ship. {To  Tania?)  And  you,  ^o  to  speak,  are 
you  also  of  the  service } 

Tajiia.  I  am  the  chambermaid.  I  too  am 
from  Demba.  And  I  know  you,  and  you,  too, 
only  this  countryman  I  don't  know.  {She  points 
to  the  thij-d peasant.) 

Third  Peasant.  These  you  have  recognized, 
and  me  you  do  not  recognize  .-* 

Tania.     Are  you  Jefim  Antonitch  } 

First  Peasant.     Real-ly ! 

Tania.  And  you  are  Sem ion's  father,  Sachar 
Trifonitch } 

Second  Peasant.     Correct ! 

Third  Peasant.  And  I,  say  I,  Mitri  Tchili- 
kin.     Do  you  know  me  now  .? 

Tania.     Now  I  know  you  also. 

Second  Peasant.  And  to  whom  do  you  be- 
long } 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  2i 

Tania.  I  am  the  daughter  of  Aksinia,  the 
soldier's  wife,  an  orphan. 

First  and  Third  Peasants,     'm,  'm  ?  ! 

Second  Peasant.  It's  not  without  reason 
they  say :  Go  buy  thee  some  swine,  then  dress 
them  up  fine,  in  silk  how  they'll  shine. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly.  Just  so,  precisely 
like  a  young  lady. 

TJiird  Peasant.  How  that  comes.  Great 
God! 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {behind  the  scene.  He  rings 
the  bell,  thejz  calls).     Gregori !    Gregori ! 

Fi7'st  Peasant.  Who  is  getting  so  excited 
there,  so  to  speak  } 

Tania.     That's  the  young  gentleman. 

Third  Peasant.  Gracious  God !  I  said  at 
first,  better  wait  outdoors  until  our  turn  comes. 
{Pause.) 

Second  Peasant.  So  it  is  you  Semion  wants 
to  take  for  wife  .'' 

Tania.  Did  he  write .''  {Hides  behind  her 
apron.) 

Second  Peasant.  Of  course  he  wrote !  He 
is  not  in  his  senses !  The  boy,  I  see,  has  be- 
come a  fine  gentleman. 

Tania  {lively).  He  has  not  become  a  fine 
gentleman  at  all.     Shall  I  send  him  here  "i 


22  The  Fruits  of  Ctiltuj-e 

Second    Peasajtf.       Why    send     him    here  ? 
There's  no  hurry.     We  shall  see  each  other  yet ! 

(Vassili     Leoniditch     is    heard  calling  in  despair: 
'•'^  Gregori !    The    devil  take  youf'') 

Scene  XVIII. 

The  Same.     (Vassili  Leoniditch  comes  through  the 
door  in  his  shirt-sleeves.     He  adjusts  his  eyeglasses.) 

Vassili  Leoniditch.     Is  the  house  deserted .-' 

Tania.     He  is  not  here,  Vassili  Leoniditch. 
I'll  have  him  called  at  once.     {Goes  towards  the* 
door) 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  I  hear  talking.  What 
sort  of  scarecrows  are  these  .'*     What  .'*     Eh  .-• 

Tania.  These  are  peasant  people  from  a 
village  in  Kursk,  Vassili  Leoniditch. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {pointing  to  the  Carrier). 
And  that  one  }  Ah,  yes,  from  Bourdiet.  {The 
peasants  bozv.) 

(Vassili  Leoniditch  pays  no  attention  to  them.  Gre- 
GORi  comes  towards  Tania  at  the  door.  Tania  re- 
mains.) 

Scene  XIX. 

The  Same  and  Gregori. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Did  I  not  tell  you  the 
other  shoes  }     I  cannot  wear  these  ! 


The  Fniits  of  Culture  23 

Gregori.     The  others  are  there  also. 
Vassili  Leoniditch.     Where  is  there  ? 
Gregori.     Well,  also  there. 
Vassili  Leoniditch.     You  lie  ! 
Gregori.     You  will  see. 

{Exeunt  Vassili  Leoniditch  and  Gregori.) 

Scene  XX. 
Tania,  the  three  peasants,  and  the  Carrier. 

Third  Peasant.  And  .maybe,  I  say,  this  is 
not  the  right  time,  then  we  can  go  to  our  lodg- 
ings and  wait  there. 

Tania.  No,  just  wait.  I  will  get  you  some 
plates  for  your  presents.     {Exit.) 

Scene  XXI. 

The  Same.     Sachatoff,    Leonid    Fedorovitch,  fol- 
lowed by  Fedor  Ivanitch. 
{The  peasants  take  up  their  presents  and  get  into  posi- 
tion) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {to  the  peasants).  In  a 
minute,  in  a  minute,  just  wait —  {Pointing  to 
the  Carrier.^     Who  is  that } 

Cai'rier.     From  Bourde. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Ah,  from  Bourdiet ! 


24  J  he  Fruits  of  Culture 

Sachatoff  {smiling).  I  don't  exactly  deny  it ; 
but  you  will  admit  that  those  of  us  who  have  not 
witnessed  all  this  you  are  telling  about,  and 
uninitiated  as  we  are,  can  hardly  believe  it. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  You  say :  I  cannot  be- 
lieve it.  But  neither  do  we  demand  faith.  We 
demand  examination.  Is  it  possible  that  I 
should  not  believe  in  this  ring.-*  And  I  got 
this  ring  from  there. 

Sachatoff.  Where  is  from  there }  Where, 
where .'' 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  From  the  beyond. 
Yes. 

Sachatoff  {smiling).  Exceedingly  interesting, 
exceedingly  interesting ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Well,  then,  you  think  I 
am  too  enthusiastic,  that  I  see  by  imagination 
what  is  not ;  but  Alexei  Vladimirovitch  Kru- 
gosvetloff !  He  surely  is  no  second-rate  man, 
he  is  a  professor  —  and  he  also  admits  it.  And 
he  does  not  stand  alone  either.  Crookes  and 
Wallace  .-• 

Sachatoff.  Indeed,  I  do  not  deny.  I  only 
say  it  is  exceedingly  interesting.  I  should  like 
to  know,  too,  how  Krugosvetloff  explains  it. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  He  has  his  own  theory! 
But  do  come  and  see  us  this  evening ;  he  will 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  25 

surely  be  here.  First  Grossmann  .  .  .  You 
know,  the  celebrated  mind-reader. 

SacJiatoff.  Yes,  I  have  heard  of  him  ;  but  I 
have  never  seen  him. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Come  then.  First 
Grossmann,  then  Kaptchitch,  and  our  medium- 
istic  S(fancc.  ...  {To  Fedor  IvanitcJi.)  Has  the 
messenger  not  yet  returned  from  Kaptchitch } 

Fedor  Foauitch.     He  is  not  yet  back. 

SacJiatoff.     How  am  I  to  know  then-.'' 

Leonid  Fedoivvitch.  .Just  come,  in  any  case 
come.  Even  if  Kaptchitch  should  not  be  pres- 
ent, we  will  get  our  medium.  Maria  Ignatievna 
is  a  medium ;  to  be  sure,  not  such  a  good  one 
as  Kaptchitch,  but  nevertheless  .  .  . 

Scene  XXH. 

The  Same  and  Tania.     {She goes  to  the  presents  with  the 
plates  and  listens  to  the  conversation.) 

SacJiatoff  {smiling).  Yes,  yes.  But  tell  me 
one  thing:  how  is  it  that  the  mediums  invari- 
ably belong  to  the  so-called  cultured  sphere.? 
Kaptchitch,  Maria  Ignatievna.  If  this  is  a 
special  force,  we  ought  to  meet  it  also  among 
the  common  people,  among  the  peasants. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     Such  is   the  case,  too. 


26  TJic  Fruits  of  Culture 

It  is  very  often  the  case.  We  have  one  peasant 
in  the  house,  and  he  is  a  medium.  We  called 
him  recently  during  the  stance.  The  sofa  was 
to  be  moved,  and  we  had  no  thou'ght  of  him. 
And  he  probably  must  have  fallen  asleep.  Now 
imagine.  Our  stance  was  already  approaching 
its  end  ;  Kaptchitch  awoke.  Suddenly  we  ob- 
serve in  the  other  corner  of  the  room,  where 
the  peasant  is  sitting,  mediumistic  phenomena : 
the  table  moves  from  the  spot  and  begins  to 
walk. 

Tania  {aside).  That  was  when  I  crept  from 
under  the  table. 

Leonid  Fcdorovitch.  Plainly  he  is  also  a 
medium.  The  more  so  as  he  very  much  re- 
sembles Home.  Do  you  remember  Home  ?  the 
blonde  man  with  the  innocent  face } 

Sachaioff  {shrugging  his  shoulders).  Indeed, 
that  is  very  interesting.  Of  course  you  must 
make  your  experiments  with  him. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  We  are  going  to  do 
that,  too.  And  he  is  not  the  only  one.  There 
are  mediums  without  number.  Only  we  don't 
know  them.  It  is  but  a  few  days  since  an  in- 
valid old  lady  moved  a  wall  from  the  spot. 

Sachatoff.     Moved  a  wall  from  the  spot  .'* 

Leonid    Fedorovitch.      Yes,   yes.      She   was 


The  Fruits  of  Cult  lire  27 

lying  in  bed,  and  had  no  idea  that  she  was  a 
medium.  She  propped  herself  with  her  hand 
against  the  wall,  and  the  wall  moved  from  the 
spot. 

SacJiatoff.     And  did  not  cave  in } 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     And  did  not  cave  in. 

Sachatoff.  Strange  !  Very  well,  I  will  come 
in  the  evening ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Just  come,  just  come, 
the  stance  will  take  place  in  any  case. 

(Sachatoff  gets  ready,  Leonid  Fedorovitch  accom- 
panies him  to  the  door.) 

Scene  XXIII. 
The  Same  except  Sachatoff. 

Carrier  {to  Tanid).  Will  you  not  announce 
me  to  her  ladyship .-'  I  surely  can't  stay  here 
over  night ! 

Tania.  Wait.  Her  ladyship  and  the  young 
lady  intend  taking  a  drive ;  they  must  pass  this 
way.     {Exit) 

Scene  XXIV. 

The  Same  except  Tania. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  {approaches  the  peasants  ; 
they  bozv  before  him  and  offer  their  presents). 
That  is  not  necessary  ! 


28  The  Fruits  of  Cultiirc 

First  Peasant  {smiling).  It  is  our  first  duty. 
Besides,  the  commune  told  us  to. 

Second  Peasant.     It  is  customary  so. 

Third  Peasant.  It's  not  worth  while  to 
waste  many  words  .  .  .  We  are  very  contented  . .  . 
As  our  fathers,  I  say,  served  your  fathers,  I  say, 
so  also  we  wish  from  the  bottom  of  our  heart, 
not  that  we  would  .  .  .   {He  bows.) 

.  Leofiid  FedorovitcJi.     What  now  }     What  do 
you  want  "i 

First  Peasant.  We  want  to  see  your  lord- 
ship. 

Scene  XXV. 

The  Same  and  Petristcheff  {enters  quickly,  in  a  gray 
cloak). 

Petristcheff.  Is  Vassili  Leoniditch  up  yet .-' 
{He  sees  Leonid  Fedorovitch,  and  salutes  him 
with  a  nod  of  the  head.) 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  You  wish  to  speak  with 
my  son } 

Petristcheff.     I  .-•     Yes,  I  wished  to  see  Wowo 

a  minute  ! 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     Please  to  pass  along. 
» 
(Petristcheff  takes  off  Ms  cloak,  and  walks  quickly 

away.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  29 

Scene  XXVI. 

The  Same  except  Petristcheff. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {to  the  peasants).  Well, 
now.     What  do  you  want  ? 

Second  Peasant.     Please  accept  our  presents. 

First  Peasant  {smiling).  That  is,  the  gifts 
from  the  village. 

Third  Peasant.  And  without  wasting  words 
—  it's  not  "worth  while.  We  wish  you  every- 
thing that  is  good,  as  to  a  father.  And  without 
wasting  words  ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Very  well.  .  .  .  Fedor, 
take  them  ! 

Fedor  Lvanitch.  All  right,  let  me  have  them 
{takes  the  presents). 

Leonid'  Fedorovitch.  What  business  brings 
you  here  1 

First  Peasant.     We  come  to  your  lordship. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  see  that  you  come  to 
me  ;  but  what  do  you  want } 

First  Peasant.  To  complete  the  purchase. 
The  question  is  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  How,  do  you  want  to 
purchase  the  land,  or  what  .-* 

First  Peasant.     Real-ly,  so  it  is.     The  ques- 


30  The  Fruits  of  dtUurc 

tion  is  .  .  .  that  is,  to  acquire  the  land  as  our 
property.  And  the  commune  has  empowered 
us,  so  to  speak,  to  go  to  the  imperial  bank,  as 
is  customary,  and  get  a  stamp  at  the  prescribed 
price. 

Leonid  Fedorovitcli.  That  is,  you  want  to 
buy  the  land  through  the  mediation  of  the  bank, 
is  that  not  so,  or  how } 

First  Peasant.  So  it  is,  as  you  proposed  to 
us  in  the  summer.  The  whole  sum  that  must 
be  got  together,  if  the  land  is  to  become  our 
property,  amounts  to  32,864  roubles. 

Leonid  Fedorovitcli.  Very  well,  but  how 
about  the  payment .'' 

First  Peasant.  And  the  payment,  as  was 
agreed  in  the  summer,  the  commune  proposes 
to  divide  into  installments  and  cash  down,  as 
is  written  in  the  law,  4000  roubles  on  a  table. 

Second  Peasant.  That  is,  the  4000  roubles 
cash  now,  and  the  rest  later. 

Third  Peasant  {producing  the  mojiey  mean- 
zvhile).  You  can  believe  we  pledge  ourselves 
personally,  and  it  will  surely  not  be  that  .  .  . 
and,  I  say,  so  or  so,  or  this,  I  say  ...  all  that 
is  right. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  But  I  wrote  you  that  I 
would  agree  only  on  condition  that  you  get  the 
whole  sum  tosrether. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  31 

First  Peasant.  Yes,  real-ly,  that  would  surely 
be  better ;  but,  that  is,  it  is  impossible. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  What's  to  be  done, 
then  ? 

First  Peasant.  The  commune  had  hoped, 
so  to  speak,  as  you  proposed  in  the  summer,  to 
pay  by  installments  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  That  was  last  year; 
then  I  agreed  to  it,  but  now  I  cannot  .  .  . 

Second  Pcasa7it.  But  that  won't  do.  You 
gave  us  hope,  we  prepared  the  document,  and 
got  the  money  together. 

Third  Peasant.  Have  mercy,  Sir !  Our 
land  is  small,  hardly  a  hen  —  not  to  say  any- 
thing of  cattle  —  hardly  a  hen,  I  say,  has  room, 
{He  bows.)     Do  not  transgress.  Sir.     {Boivs) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  It  is  true  I  agreed  to 
payment  by  installments  last  year,  but  circum- 
stances ...  so  that  I  cannot  well  do  it  now. 

Second  Peasant.  We  need  the  land  to  sup- 
port life. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  without  the  land  our 
life  is  forfeited  and  doomed. 

Third  Peasant  {bows).  Sir !  The  land  is 
small,  hardly  a  hen  —  not  to  say  anything  of 
cattle  —  hardly  a  hen,  I  say,  has  room !  Sir, 
have  mercy  !     Take  the  money.  Sir  ! 


32  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Leouid  Fedorovitch  (Jias  looked  at  the  paper 
meanwhile^.  I  understand  you,  I  should  my- 
self gladly  help  you.  Wait  here.  I  will  give 
you  an  answer  in  half  an  hour.  Fedor,  see 
that  no  one  is  admitted. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     Very    well,   your   lordship. 

{Exit  Leonid  P'edorovitch.) 

Scene  XXVII. 

The  Same  except  Leonid  Fedorovitch.    (  The  peasants 
are  depressed.) 

Secofid  Peasant.  A  fine  affair !  To  give 
the  whole,  he  says.     Yes,  where  get  it  ? 

First  Peasant.  If  he  had  not  given  us  hope 
in  the  summer.  So  we  believed,  real-ly,  it 
would  be  as  we  had  agreed  in  the  summer. 

Third  Peasant.  Gracious  God !  And  I 
have  already  taken  out  the  money.  {He  rolls 
the  money  up  agai^t.)     What  are  we  to  do  now  .? 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  What  is  the  business  that 
brought  you  here.-* 

First  Peasant.  Our  business,  dear  sir,  is,  so 
to  speak,  somewhat  like  this  :  He  proposed  to 
us  in  the  summer  to  pay  by  installments  ;  the 
commune  agreed  to  this,  and  gave  us  power  to 
act;  and  now  he  proposes,  so  to  speak,  that  we 


TJic  Fruits  of  Culture  33 

pay  the  whole  sum  cash  down.  Well,  now,  that 
is  quite  impossible. 

Fedor  Ivauitclt.  How  much  money  have 
you .'' 

First  Peasant.  For  the  first  payment  4000 
roubles,  that  is,  all  in  all. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Well  ?  Make  an  effort,  get 
more  together. 

First  Peasant.  We  have  already  been  from 
house  to  house.  The  people  have  no  brains  in 
their  head,  Sir. 

Second  Peasant.  Where  there  is  nothing, 
the  emperor  has  lost  his  right. 

Third  Pcasatit.  We  should  indeed  like  to, 
with  our  whole  heart.  But  we  have  already  had 
to  get  this  together  by  force. 

Scene  XXVIII. 

The  Same.,  Vassili   Leoniditch,  and  Petristcheff 
{in  the  door.,  both  with  cigarettes). 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  I  have  already  said  that 
I  will  try.  I  will  try  as  far  as  lies  in  my  power. 
Well .? 

Petristcheff.  Only  consider,  if  you  do  not 
get  it,  the  devil  knows  how  badly  it  may  go 
with  us ! 


34  Tlic  Fruits  of  Culture 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  I  have  said  once  I  will 
try,  and  then  it  will  be  done,  too.     Eh  ? 

PctristcJicff.  Very  well.  I  only  say  you 
must  get  it  at  all  hazards.  I  will  wait,  {Exit, 
closing  the  door  behind  him) 

Scene  XXIX. 

The  Same  except  Petristcheff. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {zvith  a  movement  of  the 
hand).     The  devil  knows  what  that  is. 
{The peasants  bow) 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {seeing  the  Carrier,  to  Fedor 
Ivanitch).  Why  do  you  not  dismiss  the  man 
from  Bourdiet  "i  Or  perhaps  he  has  taken  his 
lodgings  with  us  altogether.''  Just  see,  he  has 
fallen  asleep.     Eh .' 

Fedor  LvanitcJi.  The  letter  is  already  deliv- 
ered. He  was  told  to  wait  until  Anna  Pavlovna 
comes. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {looks  over  to  the  peasants, 
and  views  the  money  with  covetous  eyes)  Ah ! 
what's  that .''  Money .■*  For  whom.-'  Money  for 
us .''    ( To  Fedor  Foanitch)    Who  are  these  people .'' 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  They  are  countrymen  from 
the  neighborhood  of  Kursk ;  they  want  to  buy 
land. 


The  Fnnts  of  Culture  35 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Well,  how  is  it,  is  the 
sale  already  completed  ? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  No,  there  is  no  agreement 
yet.     They  are  very  miserly. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  So.-*  We  must  talk  to 
them.  {To  the  peasants.)  Well,  will  you  pur- 
chase, eh  ? 

First  Pcasa7it.  Real-ly,  we  propose  that  it 
shall  be  so  that  we  possess  land  as  our  prop- 
erty. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Then  you  must  not  be 
so  miserly.  Listen,  you  know  how  much  the 
peasant  needs  land!     Eh.'*     Very  much. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  land  is  the  most  im- 
portant thing  to  the  peasant.     That  is  true. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  You  must  not  be  miserly 
then.  For  what  does  land  signify?  On  the 
land  you  can  sow  wheat  in  beds,  you  see.  You 
can  get  300  poods,  the  pood  a  rouble,  300  rou- 
bles, eh .?  .  .  .  And,  then,  just  think  of  mint,  I 
tell  you  you  can  make  a  thousand  roubles  to  a 
desjatine. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  quite  truly,  one  can 
raise  all  products  when  one  knows  how. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Mint,  then,  mint.  For 
I  have  studied  that,  that  is  printed  in  the  books. 
I  will  show  you.     Eh .'' 


36  The  Fruits  of  Cul/iirc 

First  Peasant.  Really,  all  that  is  to  be 
learned  better  out  of  books.  Culture  is  every- 
thing. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Purchase  then,  don't 
be  miserly,  and  give  the  money.  {To  Fedor 
F'anitch).     Where  is  papa  .? 

Fedor  Fjanitch.  In  his  room.  He  wished 
not  to  be  disturbed  now. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  What,  he  is  surely  ask- 
ing the  spirits  whether  he  shall  sell  the  land  or 
not .?     Eh  >. 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.  I  cannot  say.  I  know  that 
he  went  away  undecided. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  What  do  you  think, 
Fedor  Ivanitch,  has  he  money  .''     Eh  .? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  I  do  not  know.  Hardly. 
Why  do  you  wish  to  know  that }  Did  you  not 
get  a  nice  check  last  week .? 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  I  spent  that  for  the 
dogs.  And  now,  you  know,  our  new  club, 
Petristcheff  is  elected,  and  I  had  some  money 
from  Petristcheff,  and  now  I  must  pay  the  initi- 
ation fee  for  him  and  for  myself.     Eh } 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Of  which  new  club  are  you 
speaking.-'     Of  the  Bicycle  Club? 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  No,  I  will  tell  you  pres- 
ently :  an  entirely  new  club.     A  very   serious 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  37 

club,  I  tell   you.     And  do  you  know  who   the 
chairman  is  ?     Eh  ? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  But  what  kind  of  a  new 
club  ? 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  A  club  for  the  breeding 
of  old  Russian  shock  dogs.  Eh  }  And  I  tell 
you  :  to-night  is  our  first  meeting  and  banquet. 
And  I  have  no  money !  I  want  to  see  him  !  I 
will  try !     {Exit  throicgJi  the  door.) 

Scene  XXX. 
The  peasants,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  and  the  Carrier. 

First  Peasant  {to  Fedor  h>auiich).  Who  is 
that,  Sir .? 

Fedor  h'anitch  {smiling).  The  young  gentle- 
man. 

Third  Peasant.  The  son  of  the  house,  so  to 
speak.  Gracious  God !  {He  puts  away  the 
mojiej'.)  One  must  put  it  away  while  it  is  yet 
time,  I  see. 

First  Peasant.  And  we  have  been  told  that 
he  serves  in  the  military,  in  the  cavalry,  so  to 
speak. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  No,  as  the  only  son  he  is 
exempt  from  military  service. 

Third  Peasant.     Suffered  to  stay  home,  let 


38  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

us  say,  for  the  support  of  his  parents.  That 
is  right. 

Second  Peasant  {iiodding  zvith  his  head). 
And  he  will  support  them,  there's  not  a  word 
to  waste  over  that. 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 


Scene  XXXI. 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  the  three  peasants,  Vassili  Leoni- 
DiTcn,  followed  by  Leonid  Fedorovitch,  who  re- 
mains at  the  door. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  It  is  always  so.  Truly 
remarkable.  First  they  say,  why  have  you  no 
employment — and  then,  when  I  have  found  a 
field  of  activity  and  am  at  work  —  if  a  serious 
club  is  founded  for  a  noble  purpose,  then  300 
beggarly  roubles  cannot  be  spared  !  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  When  I  say  I  cannot,  I 
cannot.     I  haven't  got  it. 

Vassili  Leojiiditch.     But  you  have  sold  land. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  In  the  first  place,  I 
haven't  sold  anything,  and  above  all, —  leave 
me  in  peace.  You  have  already  heard  that  I 
haven't  any  time.     {Slams  the  door.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  39 

Scene  XXXII. 
The  Same  except  Leonid  Fedorovitch. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  I  told  you  at  first  this  was 
not  the  right  time. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  A  nice  scrape  to  get 
into,  eh }  I'll  go  to  mamma ;  she  is  my  last 
hope.  That's  what  I  call  going  mad  on  Spirit- 
ualism, and  forgetting  all  else,  {He  goes  up- 
stairs^ 
(Fedor  Ivanitch  sits  down  and  takes  up  a  newspaper). 

Scene  XXXIII. 

The  Same,  Betsy  and  Maria  Konstantixovna  come 
downstairs  J  Gkegoki  follows  them. 

Betsy.     Is  the  carriage  ready  .-* 

Gregori.     It  is  just  driving  up. 

Betsy  {to  Maria  Konstantinovna).  Let  us 
go,  let  us  go.     I  saw  it  was  he. 

Maria  Konstantinovna.     Which  he  ^ 

Betsy.     You  know  very  well  —  Petristcheff. 

Maria  Konstantinovna.  But  where  is  he 
then .? 

Betsy.  He  is  with  Wowo ;  you  will  soon 
see. 


40  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Maria  Konstantinovna.     And  if  it  is  not  he  ? 
(.The  peasants  and  ike  Carrier  bow.) 

Betsy  {to  the  Carrier).  Ah,  you  are  from 
Bourdiet  with  the  dress. 

Carrier.  Yes,  gracious  miss.  May  it  please 
you  to  attend  to  this  matter. 

Betsy.  I  know  nothing  about  it.  That  is 
mamma's  affair. 

Carrier.  I  am  not  expected  to  know  that, 
I  have  orders  to  deliver  the  goods  and  receive 
the  money. 

Betsy.     Wait,  then. 

Maria  Konstatitinovna.  Is  it  the  costume 
for  the  charade  again  .'' 

Betsy.  Yes,  a  charming  costume.  And 
mamma  will  not  take  it  and  will  not  pay  for  it. 

Maria  Konstantinovna.     And  why  .■* 

Betsy.  You  must  ask  mamma  about  that. 
To  give  Wowo  500  roubles  for  dogs,  that  is  not 
too  much  ;  and  100  roubles  for  a  dress  is  too 
much.  I  surely  can't  appear  as  a  scarecrow. 
{Pointing  to  the  peasants)  And  who  are  these 
people .'' 

Gregori.  Peasants ;  land,  I  believe,  they 
want  to  buy. 

Betsy.  I  thought  hunters ;  are  they  not 
hunters  ? 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  4 1 

First  Peasant.  Surely  not,  lady,  we  have 
come  to  Leonid  Fedorovitch  for  the  purpose  of 
completing  the  act  of  the  purchase  of  the  land. 

Betsy.  How  is  it,  hunters  were  to  have 
come  to  Wowo?  And  are  you  surely  not  hun- 
ters? {The  peasants  are  silent.)  How  stupid 
they  are !  {She  goes  to  the  door.)  Wowo ! 
{Laughs.) 

Maria  Koiistantinovna.  You  have  just  met 
him. 

Betsy.  That  was  a  clever  stroke!  .  .  .  Wowo, 
are  you  in  there  1 

Scene  XXXIV. 

The  Same  and  Petristcheff. 

Petristcheff.  Wowo  is  not  here ;  but  I  am 
willing,  in  his  stead,  to  do  all  that  is  desired. 
I  salute  you!  I  salute  you,  Maria  Konstanti- 
novna  !  {He  first  shakes  Betsy  s  hand  long  and 
vigorously,  then  Maria  Konstantviovna  s.) 

Second  Peasant.  Just  see,  as  if  he  were 
pumping  water. 

Betsy.  You  cannot  represent  him,  but  at  any 
rate  it's  better  than  nothing.  {She  laughs.) 
What's    the   business   you    have   with   Wowo.-* 

Petristcheff.      Business  1      Fi — nancial    busi- 


42  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

ness,  that  is,  our  business  is  fi  !  and  at  the  same 
time  nancial  business,  and  besides  financial 
business. 

Betsy.  What  is  the  meaning  of  nancial 
business,  anyway? 

Petristchejf.  A  fine  question  !  That's  the 
joke  of  it,  that  it  means  nothing. 

Betsy.  Well,  that  I  call  missing  the  mark, 
missing  it  awfully.     {They  laugh.) 

Petristcheff.  It  is  impossible  for  one  always 
to  hit  the  bull's  eye.  That  is  a  kind  of  lottery. 
A  blank,  and  again  a  blank,  and  for  once,  per- 
haps, the  capital  prize. 

{Exit  Fedor  Ivanitch  into  Leonid   Fedorovitch's 
study) 

Scene  XXXV. 
The  Same  except  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

Betsy.  That  was  missing  the  mark.  Tell 
me,  were  you  at  Mergassoff's  yesterday  ? 

Petristcheff.  Not  at  Mh^e  Gassoff's,  rather  at 
Ph'e  Gassoff's,  and  not  at  Phe  Gassoff's,  either, 
but  at  Fits  Gassoff's. 

Betsy.  Is  it  utterly  impossible  for  you  to 
suppress  these  jeu  de  mots  ?  That  is  an  invet- 
erate vice. — Were  there  gypsies  there  also  "i 
{She  laughs.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  43 

Petristcheff  {sings).  "  Auf  den  Schiirzen 
Hdhnelein  —  Mit  den  golden  en  Kdmmelein"  — 

Betsy.  Happy  people  !  And  we  were  bored 
at  Fofo's. 

Petristcheff  {continues  singing).  "  Und  ver- 
sprach  ihr  siisses  Miindchen  —  Mir"  .  .  .  How 
does  it  go  ?  Maria  Konstantinovna,  how  does 
it  go  ? 

Maria  Konstantinovna.  "  Mir  ein  holdes 
SchdferstiindcJien  "... 

Petristcheff.  What.?  What.?  Maria  Kon- 
stantinovna }     {He  laughs.) 

Betsy.     Cesses,  vous  devenez  ijnpossible  I 

PetristcJieff.    J'ai  cessi^j'ai  bibe,f  ai  dedi .  .  . 

Betsy.  I  see  but  one  means  of  escaping  your 
jests —  I  must  let  you  sing.  Come  with  me  to 
Wowo's  room  ;  he  has  a  guitar,  too.  Come, 
Maria  Konstantinovna,  come  ! 

(Betsy,  Maria  Konstantinovna,  and  Petristcheff 
go  away  into  Vassili  Leoniditch's  room.) 

Scene  XXXVI. 
Gregori,  the  three  peasants,  and  the  Carrier. 

First  Peasant.     To  whom  do  these  belong  ? 

Gregori.  The  one  —  is  the  young  miss  ;  the 
other  —  the  music  teacher;  she  gives  music 
lessons. 


44  '^ l^^  Fruits  of  Culture 

First  Peasant.  She  occupies  herself,  so  to 
speak,  with  study.  And  how  accurate  she  is  ! 
As  if  painted. 

Second  Peasant.  Why  don't  they  marry  ? 
She  is  surely  of  the  right  age. 

Grtgori.  You  think,  as  among  you,  that  the 
right  age  is  fifteen  years  .-* 

First  Peasant.  And  the  young  fellow  there 
is,  so  to  speak,  a  musician  .-' 

Grcgori  {mocking  him).  Musician  !  .  .  .  You 
know  simply  nothing.  , 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly  true,  that  is  our  igno- 
rance, our  want  of  culture,  so  to  speak. 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

{Gypsy  songs  accompanied  by  the  guitar  are  heard  in 
Vassili   Leoniditch's  room.) 

Scene  XXXVII. 

Gregori,  the  three  peasants,  the  Carrier.  Semion 
enters ;  he  is  followed  by  Taxia.  Tama  watches 
the  fneeting  of  father  attd  son. 

Gregori  {to  Semion).  Where  do  you  come 
from } 

Semion.     I  was  at  Mr.  Kaptchitch's. 

Gr€gori.     Well,  how  is  it } 

Semion.  He  asked  me  to  say  it  was  quite 
impossible  for  him  to  come  to-day. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  45 

Gregori.     Very  well,  I  will  deliver  the  mes- 
sage.    {Exit.) 


Scene  XXXVIII. 
The  Same  except  Gregori. 

Semion  {to  /lis father).  Welcome,  little  father. 
Uncle  Jefim,  Uncle  Mitri — I  salute  you.  Is 
all  well  at  home  ? 

Second  Peasant.     Welcome,  Semion  ! 

First  Peasant.     Welcome,  fellow-brother ! 

Third  Peasant.  Welcome,  boy  !  How  goes 
it? 

Semion  {friendly).  Well,  little  father,  shall 
we  go  and  drink  tea  .-* 

Second  Peasant.  Wait,  we  want  to  get 
through  first.  Don't  you  see  that  we  are  busy 
now  .-* 

Seinio7i.  Well,  then,  I  will  wait  at  the  door. 
{He  goes.) 

Tania  {foUozvs  him).  Why  didn't  you  say  a 
word  } 

Semion.  How  can  I  talk  here,  before  all  the 
people  .''  Only  have  patience  ;  once  at  tea,  and 
I  will  talk.     {Exit.) 


46  The  Fruits  of  Qdtiire 


Scene  XXXIX. 

The  Same  except  Semion.     Fedor  Ivanitch  enters  and 
sits  down  by  the  window  with  a  newspaper. 

First  Peasant.  Well,  Sir,  how  is  it  with  our 
affair  ? 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Have  patience,  he  will  come 
presently,  he  will  soon  be  ready. 

Tania  {to  Fedor FoanitcJi).  How  do  you  know, 
Fedor  Ivanitch,  that  he  will  soon  be  ready } 

Fedor  Fi)a7iitch.  O,  I  know,  when  the  ques- 
tions are  at  an  end,  he  reads  aloud  to  himself 
question  and  answer. 

Taiiia.  Is  it  really  true,  then,  that  one  can 
talk  with  spirits  through  a  small  plate .'' 

Fedor  Foanitch.     It  must  be  so. 

Tania.  How,  if  they  tell  him  he  ought  to 
sign  }     Will  he  then  really  sign  .-' 

Fedor  Foanitch.     And  what  do  you  mean  .'' 

Tania.  They  do  not  speak  in  words,  do 
they  } 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  In  letters.  The  letter  at 
which  they  stop,  that  he  makes  a  note  of. 

Tania.     And  at  the  siance  ?  .  .  . 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  47 

Scene  XL. 
The  Same  and  Leonid  Fedorovitch. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Well,  my  dear  friends, 
I  cannot ;  I  should  very  gladly  have  done  it, 
but  it  is  impossible.  If  you  have  the  whole 
sum,  that's  another  thing. 

First  Peasant.  Yes,  real-ly,  that  would  surely 
be  better.  But  the  people  are  weak,  it  is  quite 
impossible. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  cannot,  it  is  impossi- 
ble.    Here  is  your  paper,  I  cannot  sign  it. 

Third  Peasant.  Have  mercy.  Sir,  have 
mercy ! 

Second  Peasant.  How  can  one  act  so  .-•  It's 
an  insult, 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  It  is  not  an  insult,  chil- 
dren. I  asked  you  in  the  summer :  do  3'ou  want 
to }  Then  it's  a  bargain.  You  did  not  want  to, 
now  I  cannot. 

Third  Peasant.  Sir,  have  mercy  !  How  are 
we  to  live.-*  Our  land  is  small,  hardly  a  hen  — 
not  to  say  anything  of  cattle  —  hardly  a  hen,  I 
say,  has  room. 

(Leonid   Fedorovitch  goes  and  remains  standing  in 
.  the  door.) 


48  The  Fruits  of  Culture 


Scene  XLI. 

The  Same.  Her  Ladyship  and  the  Physician  come 
downstairs.  Vassili  Leoniditch  follows  them  in 
a  cheerful  mood ;  he  puts  money  in  his  pocket-book. 

Her  Ladyship  {tightly  laced,  with  hat  on).  To 
be  taken  internally,  then  ? 

Physician.  To  be  taken  by  all  means  if  the 
symptoms  are  repeated.  But  above  all  —  lead  a 
more  sensible  life.  How  do  you  expect  a  thick 
syrup  to  pass  through  a  capillary  tube  if,  be- 
sides, you  press  the  tube  together  .''  That  is 
impossible !  It  is  the  same  with  the  alimentary 
canal !     That  is  surely  simple  enough. 

Her  Ladyship.     Yes,  indeed,  indeed  ! 

Physician.  Indeed,  you  say,  and  everything 
remains  the  same.  That  will  not  do,  your 
ladyship,  that  will  not-  do.     Good  bye  ! 

Her  Ladyship.  Not  good  bye,  but  au  revoir  ! 
I  shall  surely  expect  you  in  the  evening.  With- 
out you  I  cannot  come  to  a  decision, 

L^hysician.  Very  well,  very  well,  if  I  have 
time,  I  shall  come.     {Exit.) 


The  Fntits  of  CuUhjc  49 

ScEN?:  XLII. 

The  Same  except  the  Physician. 

Her  Ladyship  (observing  the  peasants).  What 
does  this  mean  ?  What  is  this  ?  What  sort  of 
people  are  these  ? 

{The peasants  bow.) 

Fedor  IvanitcJi.  They  are  countrymen  from 
the  region  of  Kursk ;  they  have  come  to  his 
lordship  to  buy  land. 

Her  Ladyship.  I  see  they  are  countrymen, 
but  who  admitted  them  } 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Leonid  Fedorovitch  gave 
orders.  He  has  just  talked  with  them  about 
the  sale  "of  the  land. 

Her  Ladyship.  What  sale  .-'  We  don't  need 
to  sell  anything.  And  above  all — ^how  can 
one  admit  persons  from  tlie  street  into*  this 
house  !  How  can  one  admit  persons  from  the 
street !  One  does  not  admit  persons  into  the 
house  who  have  passed  the  night  God  knows 
where.  .  .  .  {She  gets  more  and  more  excited^ 
In  their  garments,  I  suppose,  every  little  fold  is 
full  of  microbes  :  scarlatina  microbes,  small-pox 
microb'^s,  diphtheria  microbes  !  For  are  they 
not  from  Kursk,  the  province  of  Kursk,  where 


50  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

diphtheria   is    epidemic !  .  .  .  Doctor,    doctor ! 
Call  the  doctor  back ! 

{Exit  Leonid  Fedorovitch  ;  he  locks  the  door  behind 
him. —  Gregori  follows  the  Physician.) 


Scene  XLIII. 

The  Same  except  Leonid  Fedorovitch  and  Gregori. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {blozus  the  cigar-smoke  at 
the  peasants).  Calm  yourself,  mamma;  if  you 
wish,  I  will  smoke  them  so  that  all  the  microbes 
will  expire.     Well .'' 

(Her   Ladyship  is  persistently  silent;  she  awaits  the 
return  of  the  Physician.) 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {to  the  peasants).  Do  you 
breed  hogs  .■'     That  is  a  profitable  business. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  sometimes  we  also 
raise  hogs. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Such  .  .  .  i-u  .  .  .  i-u 
{He  grunts  like  a  sticking  pig.) 

Her  Ladyship.     Wowo,  Wowo  !     Stop. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.     A  good  pig  baby,  eh  } 

First  Peasant.     Real-ly,  a  good  sucking  pig. 

Her  Ladyship.     Wowo,  stop,  I  tell  you  ! 

Second  Peasant.     What's  that  for } 

TJiird  Peasant.  I  told  you  in  the  first  place 
that  we  ought  meantime  to  go  to  our  lodgings. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  51 

Scene  XLIV. 
The  Same,  the  Physician,  ami  Gregori. 

Physician.  What's  up  now  ?  What's  the 
matter. 

Her  Ladyship.  You  always  say  one  must 
not  get  excited.  Now  how  can  one  remain 
calm  here  .■*  For  two  whole  months  I  do  not 
visit  my  sister,  and  guard  myself  against  every 
questionable  visit.  Suddenly  I  find  people  from 
Kursk,  straight  from  Kursk  where  diphtheria 
rages,  right  in  my  own  house ! 

Physician.  Do  you  mean  these  splendid  fel- 
lows .'' 

Her  Ladyship.  Certainly,  right  from  the 
diphtheria   district. 

Physiciatt.     Yes,  if  they  are  from  the  diph-, 
theria   district,  it  is  indeed    careless;  but    one 
need  not  get  so  excited  over  it. 

Her  Ladyship.  But  you  yourself  always 
caution  us  to  be  careful ! 

Physician.  Yes,  yes,  but  nevertheless  one 
need  not  get  so  excited  over  it. 

Her  Ladyship.  How  can  you  say  that  .■•  We 
must  have  everything  thoroughly  disinfected 
now. 


52  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Physician.  No,  no,  why,  thoroughly,  that  is 
too  expensive,  that  would  cost  300  roubles  and 
more.  Let  me  fix  it  for  you.  To  one  large 
bottle  of  water  .  .  . 

Her  Ladyship.     Distilled  ? 

Physician.  Quite  immaterial.  Distilled  is 
better —  Well,  then,  to  each  bottle  of  water 
take  a  tablespoonful  of  salicylic  acid,  and  have 
everything  washed  with  it  which  they  in  any 
way  have  touched  ;  and  these  fellows  them- 
selves must  of  course  leave.  That  will  sufiice. 
Then  you  need  not  fear  anything.  Of  this 
solution  you  may  also  spray  two  or  three 
glassfuls  into  the  air  with  the  atomizer.  You 
shall  see  how  well  everything  will  be.  Quite 
harmless. 

Her  Ladyship.  Where  is  Tania .''  Call 
Tania ! 

Scene  XLV. 

The  Savte  and  Tania. 

Tania.     What  does  her  ladyship  wish  .'' 

Her  Ladyship.  Do  you  know  the  big  bottle 
in  the  wardrobe .'' 

Tania.  With  which  we  sprinkled  the  wash- 
woman yesterday  } 

Her  Ladyship.     Yes,  that,  what   other  one } 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  53 

Take  that  bottle,  then ;  first  wash  the  spot 
where  they  are  standing  with  soap,  then  .  .  . 

Tarda.     Very  well.     I  know,  I  know. 

Her  LadysJiip.  Then  take  the  atomizer  .  .  . 
However,  I  will  come  back  and  do  that  myself. 

PJiysician.  Only  do  that,  and  trouble  your- 
self no  further.  Au  revoir,  now,  until  evening. 
{Exit.) 

Scene  XLVI. 
The  Same  except  the  Physician. 

Her  LadysJiip.  And  with  these  away,  away, 
that  not  a  trace  of  them  may  remain.  Away, 
away !     Go,  what  are  you  staring  at .'' 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  in  our  ignorance,  we 
were  told  .  .  . 

Gregori  {leading  the  peasants  away).  Now, 
go,  go ! 

Second  Peasant.  Only  let  me  take  my  bun- 
dle. 

Third  Peasant.  Gracious  God  !  I  said  at 
the  start  —  we  ought  to  wait  at  our  lodgings. 
{Gregori pushes  him  out.) 


54  The  Fruits  of  Culture 


SCENK   XLVII. 

Her  Ladyship,   Gregori,   Fedor  Ivanitch,  Tania, 
Vassili    Leoniditch,  and  the  Garriek. 

Carrier  {who  has  irpeatcdly  attempted  to 
speak).     Am  I  to  have  an  answer  ? 

Her  Ladyship.  Ah,  he  from  Bourdiet  ? 
{Angrily.)  There  is  no  answer,  there  is  no 
answer,  take  it  back  with  you.  I  told  him  I 
did  not  order  such  a  costume,  and  I  will  not 
allow  my  daughter  to  wear  it. 

Carrier.  I  know  nothing  about  it  ;  I  was 
sent  here. 

Her  Ladyship.  Just  go,  go,  and  take  it  with 
you  again,     I  will  go  there  myself. 

Vassili  Leoniditch  {solemnly).  Sir  Messenger 
of  Bourdiet,  begone ! 

Carrier.  You  might  have  said  that  long 
ago.  Was  it  necessary  for  me  to  wait  here  five 
hours  .-* ! 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Messenger  of  Bourdiet, 
begone ! 

Her  Ladyship.     Hush,  now,  I  beg  you  ! 

{Exit  Carrier.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  55 

Scene  XLVIII. 
The  Sajne  except  the  Carrier. 

Her  Ladyship.  Betsy!  Where  is  she?  One 
must  always  wait  for  her. 

Vassili  Leoni ditch  {screams  at  the  top  of  his 
voice).  Betsy !  Petristcheff !  Come  quicker, 
quicker,  quicker  !     Eh  ? 

Scene  XLIX. 
The  Same,    Petristcheff,  Betsy,  and  Maria  Kon- 

STANTIXOVNA. 

Her  Ladyship.     One  must   always   wait   for 

you- 

Betsy.  On  the  contrary,  I  am  waiting  for 
you. 

(Petristcheff  salutes  only  with  a  nod  of  his  head  and 
kisses  Her  Ladyship's  hand.) 

Her  Ladyship.  How  do  you  do  ?  {To  Betsy?) 
You  must  always  talk  back  ! 

Betsy.  If  you  are  not  in  good  humor,  mamma, 
I  would  rather  not  drive  out  with  you. 

Her  Ladyship.  Are  we  going  to  take  a  drive 
or  not  "i 


56  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Betsy.     Say  we  drive,  then  ;  what  else  ? 
.   Her  Ladyship.     Have  you  seen  what  the  man 
from  Bourdiet  brought  ? 

Betsy.  I  have  seen  it,  and  I  was  delighted 
with  it.  I  ordered  the  costume,  and  will  wear 
it  when  it  is  paid  for. 

Her  Ladyship.  I  will  not  pay  for  it,  and  I 
will  not  permit  you  to  wear  an  improper  cos- 
tume. 

Betsy.  Since  when  is  it  improper .-'  Until 
now  it  was  proper;  suddenly  you  have  a  fit  of 
prudery. 

Her  Ladyship.  No  prudery  whatever  ;  if  the 
entire  waist  is  fixed  over,  it  may  do. 

Betsy.     Mamma,  that  is  certainly  impossible. 

Her  Ladyship.     Well,  get  ready. 

{They  sit  down.     Grecori/7//j'  on  their  overshoes^ 

Vassili  Lconiditch.  Maria  Konstantinovna, 
do  you  see  how  empty  the  hall  has  become } 

Maria  Konstantinovna  {laughing).  What  do 
you  mean  } 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  The  man  from  Bourdiet 
is  gone.     Eh  }     Well .''     {Laughs  loud.) 

Her  L^adyship.  Let  us  start  then.  {She 
walks  towards  the  door  and  suddenly  returns.) 
Tania ! 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  57 

Tania.     What  does  your  ladyship  wish  ? 

Fler  Ladyship.  That  Fifka  may  not  catch 
cold  during  my  absence.  If  he  should  desire 
to  go  out,  by  all  means  put  the  yellow  cloak 
around  him.     He  is  not  quite  well. 

Tania.     Very  well,  your  ladyship. 

{Exettnt  Her   Ladyship,  Betsy,  Maria   Kokstanti- 
NOVNA,  find  Gregori.) 


Scene  L. 

Petristcheff,    Vassili     Leoniditch,     Tania,    and 
Fedor   Ivanitch. 

Petristcheff.  Well,  how  is  it  1  What  have 
you  accomplished } 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  I  tell  you  it  cost  a  lot 
of  trouble.  First  I  went  to  my  sire  —  he 
growled  at  me  and  sent  me  away.  Then,  to 
my  mother  —  there  I  got  it.  Here  it  is.  {He 
slaps  his  pocket.)  When  I  take  anything  into 
my  head,  I  am  simply  irresistible.  .  .  .  Hooks  of 
steel !  Eh  ?  And  now  my  wolf-killers  will  of 
course  be  brought  to-day. 

{Exeunt  Petristcheff  a«rt^  Vassili  Leoniditch,  taking 
their  overcoats.     Ta'HW/oIIows  them.) 


58         '  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  LI. 

Fedor  Ivanitch  alone. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Continual  discord.  Why 
can't  they  live  in  peace .''  Yes,  one  must  admit, 
the  young  generation — is  after  all  something 
different.  And  the  rule  of  woman.?  At  first 
Leonid  Fedorovitch  would  gladly  have  favored 
the  peasants  ;  then  he  saw  her  going  into  hys- 
terics and  slammed  the  door  to.  A  rare  good 
man !  Yes,  rarely  good  !  .  .  .  What's  this } 
Tania  brings  them  back  } 


Scene  LIL 
Fedor  Ivanitch,  Tania,  and  the  three  peasants. 

Tania.  Just  come,  just  come,  little  uncles, 
no  harm. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Why  have  you  brought 
them  here  again .-' 

Tania.  Pray,  dear  Fedor  Ivanitch,  we  must 
surely  do  something  for  them.  And  I  will 
scrub  up  everything  again. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Nothing  will  come  of  their 
case ;  I  can  see  it  already. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  59 

First  Peasaftt.  Well,  Sir,  shall  we  settle  our 
matter  ?  If  your  grace  will  take  a  little  trouble, 
we  will  surely  show  ourselves  richly  grateful 
on  behalf  of  the  commune  in  reward  for  your 
trouble. 

Third  Peasant.  Will  you  not  try,  dear  Sir  ? 
We  cannot  live.  Our  land  is  small,  hardly  a 
hen  —  not  to  say  anything  of  cattle  —  hardly  a 
hen,  I  say,  has  room. 

{They  boiv.) 

Fedor  Foanitch.  I  really  pity  you,  but  I  can- 
not do  anything  for  you,  little  friends.  I  under- 
stand very  well,  but  he  has  said  no.  What's  to 
be  done,  now .?  Her  ladyship  also  is  against 
it.  Hardly  !  But  let  me  have  the  document ; 
I  will  go  to  him  ;  I  will  try  ;  I  will  implore 
him  !     {Exit.) 

Scene  LHI. 
Tania  an(^  the  three  peasants  {they  sigh). 

Tania.  Now  tell  me,  little  uncles,  how  is  it 
with  your  affair .'' 

First  Peasant.     Only  his  signature. 

Tania.  His  lordship  is  to  sign  the  docu- 
ment } 

First  Peasant.     Only  to  sign  it  with  his  own 


6o  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

hand,  and  to  take  his  money,  and  the  matter  is 
finished. 

Thij'd  Peasant.  If  he  only  would  write !  I 
want,  he  says,  as  the  peasants  want,  he  says. 
That's  the  whole  matter.     He  takes  and  signs. 

Tania.  Only  to  sign  .-'  His  lordship  is  only 
to  place  his  name  on  the  document  }  {She 
meditates.) 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  the  business  depends 
only  on,  that.  That  is,  when  he  has  signed, 
there  is  nothing  more  to  do. 

Tania.  Just  wait,  let's  see  what  Fedor 
Ivanitch  brings.  If  he  cannot  persuade  his 
lordship,  I  will  try  a  ruse. 

Second  Peasant.  You  will  get  him  to  come 
round  .-' 

Tania.     I  will  try. 

'Third  Peasant.  Hey,  girl,  you  intend  to  do 
something  for  us  }  Only  carry  out  the  thing, 
and  we  will  bind  ourselves,  I  say,  to  support 
you  for  life  at  the  expense  of  the  commune. 
That's  a  thing! 

First  Peasant.  If  you  will  do  us  such  a 
turn,  we  can  really  set  you  in  gold. 

Second  Peasant.     No  doubt  about  it  ! 

Taftia.  I  will  not  positively  promise  it.  As 
they  say :  one  can  try  .  .  . 


71ic  Fruits  of  Culture  6 1 

P'irst    Peasant.       —  and     a    question     costs 
nothing.     Real-ly  true  ! 


Scene  LIV.  ' 

The  Same  and  Fedok  Ivaxitch. 

Fedor  Fi^anitch.  No,  good  friends,  your  busi- 
ness is  all  up ;  he  said,  no  and  sticks  to  it. 
Take  your  document.     Go,  go  ! 

First  Peasant  {takes  the  document.  To  Tania). 
So  we  must  after  all,  so  to  speak,  rely  on  you. 

Tania.  Presently,  presently.  You  will  now 
go  and  wait  outdoors  ;  I  shall  immediately  come 
to  you  and  tell  you  what's  to  be  done. 

{Exeunt  peasants.)  ' 

Scene  LV. 
Fedok  Ivaxitch  (7// <^/ Tania. 

Tania.  Fedor  Ivanitch,  my  dear,  request  his 
lordship  to  please  come  out  to  me.  I  have  to 
speak  a  word  to  him. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  What  sort  of  news  may 
that  be.? 

Tania.  It  must  be,  Fedor  Ivanitch.  Just 
announce  it,  please ;  it  is  nothing  bad,  God 
knows. 


62  TJic  Fruits  of  Culture 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     What  can  it  be  ? 

Tania.  A  little  secret.  I  will  betray  it  later. 
Only  announce  it. 

Fedor  IvanitcJi  {smiling).  I  cannot  under- 
stand what  you  are  driving  at !  But  very  well, 
I  will  say  it,  I  will  say  it.     {Exit.) 


Scene  LVI. 

Tania  {alone). 

Tania.  I  declare,  it  must  succeed.  Didn't 
he  say  himself  that  Semion  had  the  force,  and 
don't  I  know  how  everything  is  to  be  managed .'' 
Then  nobody  suspected  anything.  Now  I  am 
going  to  bring  Semion  up  to  it.  And  if  it  does 
not  succeed,  there  is  no  harm  done.  Is  that  a 
sin .'' 

Scene  LVII. 
Tania,  Leonid  Fedorovitch,  later  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {smiling).  A  strange 
petitioner  !     What  is  it  about  .■' 

Tania.  A  little  secret,  Leonid  Fedorovitch. 
Permit  me  to  tell  you  under  four  eyes, 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  What  .can  that  be  ? 
Fedor,  leave  us  a  moment. 


,  The  Fruits  of  Culture  63 

Scene  LVIII. 
Leonid  Fedorovitch  and  Tania. 

Tania.  Leonid  Fedorovitch,  I  have  been 
brought  up  in  your  house  from  a  child ;  I  am 
grateful  to  you  for  everything,  and  I  want  to 
speak  openly  to  you  as  to  my  own  father, 
Semion,  who  is  in  your  house,  wants  to  marry 
me. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Was  that  it  ? 

Tania.  I  speak  as  openly  to  you  as  to  God. 
I  have  nobody  with  whom  I  could  consult ;  for 
I  am  an  orphan. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Well,  why  not }  He  is 
really  a  good  boy. 

Tania.  Certainly,  he  would  be  real  nice ; 
only  one  thing  seems  doubtful  to  me.  And  I 
wanted  to  ask  you,  there  is  something  in  him, 
I  do  not  quite  understand  it  .  .  .  If  it  should  be 
anything  bad  ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     What,  does  he  drink } 

Tania.  No,  God  forbid !  But  I  know  that 
there  is  a  Spirituism  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     You  know  that .'' 

Tania.  Why  shouldn't  I .?  I  understand 
very  well.  Others  with  their  lack  of  education 
don't  perhaps  understand  .  .  . 


64  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

» 

Leouid  FcdorointcJi.     Well,  what  then  ? 

Tallin.  I  am  anxious  about  Semion.  It 
happens  with  him  — 

Leonid  FcdorovitcJi.     What  happens  ? 

Tallin.  Something  like  Spirituism.  Just 
ask  the  domestics.  As  soon  as  he  goes  to  sleep 
at  the  table,  right  away  the  table  begins  to 
tremble  and  to  squeak  :  tuk,  tu  .  .  .  tuk !  All 
the  domestics  have  heard  it. 

Leonid  Fcdorovitcli.  Exactly  what  I  told 
Sergei  Ivanovitch  this  morning.     And  } 

Tania.  And  . .  .  when  was  it .-'  Yes,  Wednes- 
day. We  had  j  ust  sat  down  to  dinner.  Scarcely 
had  he  sat  down  at  the  table  when  the  spoon 
jumped  into  his  hand  all  of  its  own  accord  — 
hop ! 

L^eouid  Fedorovitch.  Ah,  that  is  interesting! 
Hop  —  into  his  hand  .-*  How,  had  he  gone  to 
sleep } 

Tania.  I  didn't  notice.  I  think  he  had  gone 
to  sleep. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     Well,  and .-' 

Tania.  Well,  I  am  anxious,  and  wanted  to 
ask  you  whether  any  harm  could  come  from  it } 
To  have  to  be  together  with  some  one  for  a 
whole  life,  if  something  like  that  is  in  him  .  .  . 

L.conid  FcdorovitcJi  {smiling).     No,  no,  don't 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  65 

be  afraid  ;  there's  nothing  bad  in  that.  That 
only  means  that  he  is  a  medium,  simply  a  me- 
dium.    I  knew  long  ago  that  he  was  a  medium. 

Tajiia.  Strange  !  .  .  .  And  I  have  been  in 
such  fear ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  No,  no,  fear  nothing, 
that  is  of  no  consequence.  {To  himself)  That 
is  excellent,  Kaptchitch  can't  come,  so  we  can 
make  experiments  with  him  this  very  day.  .  .  . 
No,  no,  fear  nothing,  my  child,  he  will  also  be 
a  good  husband  and  everything  .  .  .  That  is  an 
especial  power,  which  all  men  possess.  It  is 
only  weaker  in  some  and  stronger  in  others. 

Tania.  I  thank  you  with  all  my  heart.  I 
shall  not  think  of  it  any  more  now.  And  I 
have  had  such  fear  about  it.  That  comes  from 
our  ignorance. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch,  No,  no,  don't  be  afraid, 
Tania ! 

Scene  LIX. 
The  Same  and  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  am  going  out.  To 
prepare  everything  for  this  evening's  stance. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  But  Mr.  Kaptchitch  is  not 
coming  to-day. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     No  matter,  it's  all  the 


66  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

same.     {He  puts  on  his  cloak.)     We  shall  have 
a  trial  stance  with  our  own  medium. 

{Exit.     Fedor  Ivanitch^4'^(;<:^  out  with  him.) 


Scene  LX. 

Tania  atone. 

Tania.  He  believed  it,  he  believed  it  {she 
squeals  and  jumps).  Sure  as  God,  he  believed 
it !  A  real  miracle  {sJie  squeals).  Now  the 
thing  must  succeed,  if  only  Semion  doesn't  get 
frightened. 

Scene  LXI. 

Tania  and  Fedor  Ivanitch  {coming  back). 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Well,  how  is  it,  did  you  tell 
your  secret  ? 

Tania.  Certainly.  I  will  tell  you  about  it, 
too ;  only  later.  But  I  have  a  favor  to  ask  of 
you  also,  Fedor  Ivanitch, 

Fedor  Foanitch.  What  sort  of  a  favor  can 
that  be? 

Tania  {ashamed).  You  have  always  been 
like  a  second  father  to  me.  I  will  speak  to  you 
openly,  as  to  God. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  No  flattery  now  ;  say  right 
out  what  you  want. 


The  Fruits  of  Cult  it  re  6^ 

Tania.  What  I  want  ?  I  want  —  Semion 
wants  to  marry  me. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  That's  it!  That's  why  I 
have  noticed  .  .  . 

Tania.  Why  should  I  conceal  it  ?  I  am  an 
orphan,  and  you  know  how  it  is  here  in  this 
city  life ;  everybody  is  after  a  girl ;  be  it  only 
Gregori  Michailitch.  I  have  no  peace  from  him. 
That  one  also  —  you  know?  They  act  as  if 
I  were  a  lifeless  being,  as  if  I  were  here  only 
for  their  pleasure  .  .  . 

Fedor  Foaiiitch.  Clever  girl,  bravo  !  Well, 
what  is  it  then  ? 

Tania.  Semion  has  written  to  his  father, 
and  now  he  has  seen  me,  the  father  I  mean, 
immediately  he  says :  He  has  come  to  be  a 
fine  gentleman !  The  son  I  mean,  Fedor 
Ivanitch  !  {She  makes  a  bow.)  Take  the  place 
of  a  father  to  me.  Speak  to  the  old  man,  to 
•  Semion's  father.  I  will  take  them  to  the 
kitchen  ;  then  you  will  come  in  and  speak  to 
the  old  man. 

Fedor  Foanitch  {smiling).  That  is,  I  am  to 
be  your  match-maker?    Very  well,  that  may  be. 

Tania.  Dearest,  best  Fedor  Ivanitch,  take 
the  place  of  a  father  to  me,  and  I  will  pray  for 
you  all  my  life. 


68  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Fedor  IvanitcJi.     Well,  well,  I  will  go.     Rely 
on  me.     {He  takes  his  paper) 

Tania.     You  will  be  a  second  father  to  me. 
Fedor  Foanitch.     Very  well,  very  well. 
Tania.     I  may  hope  then  .  .  .  {Exit.) 


Scene  LXII. 

Fedor  Ivanitch  alone. 

Fedor  IvanitcJi  {szvays  Jiis  head  to  and  fro). 
A  winning,  good  child !  How  many  such  are 
ruined,  sad  !  One  single  false  step,  then  they 
go  from  hand  to  hand  .  ,  Not  a  soul  to  draw 
them  from  the  mire.  How  miserably  that  dar- 
ling Natalie  fared  !  ,  .  .  She  was  also  good,  she 
also  had  a  mother  who  cherished  and  cared  for 
her,  and  had  reared  her  .  .  .  {Takes  his  paper) 
Well,  how  is  it  with  our  Ferdinand .-'  How  is 
he  going  to  disentangle  himself.-'  ... 

{The  curtain  falls.) 


ACT   II. 

The  stage  represents  the  interior  of  the  domestics'' 
kitchen.  The  peasants^  in  shirt-sleeves  and  reeking  with 
perspiration,  are  sitting  at  the  table  and  drinking  tea. 
Fedor  Ivanitch  is  smoking  a  cigar  on  the  other  side  of 
the  stage.  On  the  stove  lies  the  Old  Cook,  who  is  not 
seen  during  the  first  four  scenes. 


Scene  I. 

The  three  peasants  and  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

Fcdor  Ivanitch.  My  advice  is  to  let  him  have 
his  will.  If  he  wishes  it  and  she  also,  then  let 
them.  The  girl  is  good  and  honest.  That  she 
likes  to  dress  up,  don't  mind  that  too  much. 
That's  the  way  it  is  in  the  city ;  it  wouldn't  do 
else.     And  the  girl  is  clever. 

Second  Peasant.  Well,  if  he  insists  on  it. 
He  has  to  marry  her,  not  I,  But  she  is  already 
much  too  fine.  What  are  we  to  do  with  her  in 
a  peasant's  hut  .-*  Her  mother-in-law  will  not 
even  be  allowed  to  caress  her. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  That  has  nothing  to  do 
with  being  fine,  good  friend,  but  with  character. 


70  The  Fruits  of  Cultnrc 

If  she  has  a  good  character,  then  she  will  also 
be  obedient  and  respectful. 

Second  Peasant.  Well,  I'll  not  withhold  my 
consent,  if  the  boy  has  set  his  mind  on  the  girl. 
It's  bad,  anyway,  to  take  one  whom  one  doesn't 
love.  I'll  consult  with  my  old  woman,  and  then' 
as  God  wills  ! 

Fedor  Fjaniich.  Well  then,  shake  hands  on 
it. 

Second  Peasant.     I  suppose  it's  fate. 

First  Peasant.  What  luck  you  have,  Sachar! 
You  come  here  to  settle  some  business,  and  just 
see  —  he  takes  away  a  princess  for  his  daughter- 
in-law.  Now  we'll  only  have  to  wet  it  yet,  so 
to  speak  ;  then  it's  as  it  ought  to  be. 

Fedor  Foanitch.     Not  necessary  at  all. 

{^Uncomfortable  silence) 

Fedor  Fc'anitc/i.  You  see,  I  can  appreciate 
the  life  of  the  peasants.  I  am  thinking  myself, 
I  tell  you,  of  buying  a  piece  of  land.  I  would 
like  to  build  me  a  house,  and  farm.  Perhaps 
even  in  your  neighborhood. 

Second  Peasant.     That  is  very  nice  ! 

First  Peasant.  Rcal-ly,  with  a  little  money 
one  can  provide  himself  with  every  pleasure  in 
the  country. 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  71 

Third  Peasant.  Why  say  anything  about 
it  ?  In  the  country,  I  say,  there  is  in  any  case 
more  freedom ;  quite  different  from  the  city. 

Fedor  Fimnitch.  How,  will  you  admit  me  to 
your  commune,  if  I  should  settle  down  amongst 
you  ? 

Second  Peasant.  Why  shouldn't  we  admit 
you  ?  You  drink  with  the  elders  and  are  ad- 
mitted. 

First  Peasant.  Yes,  you  can  open  a  bar,  so 
to  speak,  or  an  eating-house.  What  a  life  that 
would  be  !  One  need  not  die  at  all  then.  You'll 
be  the  gentleman,  and  need  ask  nobody's  pleas- 
ure. 

Fedor  h'anitc/i.  We'll  see,  we'll  see.  I 
merely  wish  to  lead  a  quiet  life  in  my  old  age. 
I  am  having  a  good  enough  time  here  —  nor 
will  it  come^easy  to  me  to  leave  ;  Leonid  Fedor- 
ovitch  is,  indeed,  a  rarely  good  man. 

First  Peasant.  Thait  is  i'eally  so.  But  why 
does  he  treat  our  business irt- that  way.?  Is  it 
to  remain  this  way  without  a  result } 

Fedor  Paanitch.     He  would  like  to  ! 

Second  Peasant.     Is  he  afraid  of  his  wife.? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  He  is  not  afraid  of  her-;  but 
neither  will  she  give  her  consent. 

Third  Peasant.     If  you  would  put  in  a  word 


72  The  Fruits  of  Culture: 

for  us,  little  father  ?     How  are  we  to  live  other- 
wise ?     Our  land  is  small  .  .  . 

Fcdor  Ivanitch.     First  let    us  wait   and    see 
what   Tatiana  will   bring   about   with    her   en-  r 
deavors.     She  has    taken    it    in  hand,  has  she 
not? 

Third  Peasant.  Little  father,  have  mercy  on 
us  !  Our  land  is  small,  hardly  a  hen  —  not  to 
say  anything  of  cattle  —  hardly  a  hen,  I  say, 
has  room. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Yes,  if  it  depended  on  me. 
{To  the  second  peasant.)  So  it  is  settled,  then, 
good  friend,  we  two  are  now  fathers-in-law. 
The  affair  with  Tania  is  agreed  to  } 

Second  Peasant.  If  I  have  said  it  once,  I 
don't  take  back  my  word,  even  without  having 
wet  it.     If  our  affair  would  only  succeed. 

Scene  II. 

The  Same.  The  Cook  enters,  casts  a  glance  at  the 
stove.,  makes  a  sign,  and  begins  at  once  to  talk  viva- 
ciously with  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

Cook.  They  have  just  called  up  Semion  from 
their  lordship's  kitchen  ;  his  lordship  and  he 
who  conjures  with  him,  that  baldhead ;  they 
put  him  on  a  chair  and  commanded  him  to  take 
part,  in  the  place  of  Kaptchitch. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  ^3 

Fcdor  Ivanitch.     What  lie  is  that  ? 
Cook.     Sure.     Just    now   Jacob    told    Tania 
about  it. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     Strange ! 

Scene  III. 
The  Same  and  the  Coachman. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     What  do  you  want } 
Coachman    {to   Fcdor  Ivanitch).      Tell    their 
lordships  I  did   not  come  into  their  service  in 
order   to    house  with    dogs.     Let  who  will  do 
that.     I  don't  feel  like  living  with  dogs. 
Fcdor  Ivanitch.     With  what  dogs  .'* 
Coachman.     They've  sent  three  curs  to  us  in 
the  coachmen's  room  from  Vassili  Leoniditch. 
They've  soiled  everything,  and  howl,  and   one 
dare  not  touch  them  —  they  bite  at  you.     Mad 
beasts  !  —  they'll  eat  one  up  before  one  knows 
it.     And  I  would  just  like  to  smash  their  legs 
with  a  club. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  When  was  that  .-• 
CoacJiman.  To-day  they  brought  them  from 
the  exposition,  expensive  rat-hounds  or  whatever 
they  are.  The  devil  knows  what  they  are 
called.  Either  the  dogs  must  leave  the  coach- 
men's room  or  the  coachmen.  You  may  tell 
that  to  their  lordships. 


74  ^Z/^'  Fruits  of  Culture 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.  Yes,  that  is  no  way  of 
doing.     I  will  go  upstairs  and  ask. 

Coachman.  They  can  come  down  here  to 
Lukeria.     What } 

Cook  {enraged).  Here  human  beings  have  to 
eat,  and  you  want  to  shut  up  the  curs  in  here  ? 
It  is  already  .  .  . 

Coachman.  And  in  my  place  there  are  coats, 
straps,  and  harnesses.  And  cleanliness  is  ex- 
pected of  me.     Perhaps  in  the  butler's  room  ">. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  I  must  speak  to  Vassili 
Leoniditch. 

Coachman  {annoyed).  Let  him  have  the  curs 
fastened  to  his  neck  and  run  about  with  them. 
He  likes  to  drive  about  all  day  anyway.  Hec- 
tor he  has  ruined  out  and  out.  And  what  a 
horse  he  was  !  .  .  .  O  such  a  life !  {Exit,  slam- 
ming tlic  door) 

SCENK    IV. 
The  Same  except  the  Coachman. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Yes,  bad  management,  bad 
management.  {To  the  peasants)  It's  settled 
then  ;  meanwhile  good  bye,  children  ! 

Peasants.     God  be  with  you  ! 

{Exit  Fedor  Ivanitch.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  75 

Scene  V. 

The  Same  except  Fedor  Ivanitch.  As  soon  as  Fedor 
IvANiTCH  leaves,  groans  are  heard  in  the  direction 
of  the  stove. 

Scco7id  Peasant.  A  fine  gentleman,  like  a 
general ! 

Cook.  Nothing  special !  His  own  room,  free 
washing  from  their  lordships,  his  tea,  his  sugar, 
—  everything  he  gets  from  their  lordships, 
and  food  from  their  lordships'  table. 

The  Old  Cook.  The  devil,  too  —  and  why 
shouldn't  he  be  doing  finely  ?  He  steals  like  a 
magpie  ! 

Second  Peasant.  Who  is  that  —  the  fellow 
on  the  stove  ? 

Cook.     He  —  an  old  man.     {Pause.) 

First  Peasant.  I  have  seen  you  eating 
before,  too ;  you  must  be  rich  people. 

Cook.  We  have  no  reason  to  complain.  As 
to  that  matter,  she  is  not  miserly ;  Sundays 
wheat  bread,  fish  during  Lent  and  the  holidays, 
and  whoever  doesn't  want  to  needn't  fast  at  all. 

Second  Peasant.  Does  anybody  eat  other 
things  on  fast  days,  then  } 

Cook.  Well,  all  do.  Only  the  coachman 
(not  the  one  who  was  here,  but  the  old  one), 


'j^  Tlic  Fruits  of  Culture 

and  Semion,  and  I,  and  the*  housekeeper  —  wo 
fast ;  all  the  others  eat  meat. 

Second  Peasant.     And  he  himself  ? 

Cook.  Ah !  there  you  make  a  fine  mistake. 
He  scarcely  remembers  any  more  that  there  is 
a  fast  day. 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

First  Peasant.  That's  the  way  it  is  among 
great  folks ;  they  learn  that  out  of  books. 
That's  culture ! 

Third  Peasant.  Every  day,  I  think,  they 
have  wheat  bread  1 

Cook.  Bah  !  wheat  bread.  They  care  a  lot 
for  your  wheat  bread  !  You  ought  just  to  see 
for  once  what  they  do  eat !  All  the  things  that 
are  served  on  their  table  ! 

Fi7'st  Peasant.  What  great  folks  eat,  that  — 
we  know  —  is  light  as  air  ! 

Cook.  Good!  air!  —  well,  they  fall  to  pretty 
lively ! 

First  Peasant.     With  an  appetite,  so  to  speak. 

Cook.  Because  they  also  drink  with  it. 
These  sweet  wines,  whiskeys,  effervescing 
drinks,  for  every  course  a  special  one.  They 
eat.  and  drink,  and  eat  and  drink  again  .  .  . 

First  Peasant.  It  is  so  arranged  beforehand 
that  they  may  eat  all  the  more. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  yj 

Cook.  Yes,  bless  me,  how  they  do  feed ! 
With  them  it  is  not  like  this :  sit  down,  eat, 
cross  one's  self,  get  up, —  they  eat  without 
interruption. 

Second  Peasant.  Like  hogs  —  with  the  feet 
in  the  trough.     {Peasants  laiig/i.) 

Cook.  Scarcely  have  they  opened  their  eyes, 
praise  the  Lord,  directly  they  call  for  the  samo- 
var, tea,  coffee,  chocolate.  When  they  have 
emptied  two  samovars  —  go,  fetch  the  third. 
Then  immediately  breakfast,  immediately  dinner, 
and  then  immediately  coffee  again ;  scarcely 
have  they  filled  their  stomachs  —  immediately 
again  tea ;  then  all  sorts  of  trifles  :  sweetmeats, 
dessert, —  and  so  on  without  end.  When  they 
go  to  bed,  they  are  still  eating. 

*rhird  Peasant.     Yes,  so  it  is.     {Laughs) 

First  and  Second  Peasants.  What  are  you 
laughing  for  ? 

Third  Peasajit.  I  should  for  once  like  to 
live  a  day  like  that,  too. 

Second  Peasant.  When  do  they  do  their 
work,  anyway .'' 

Cook.  What  work  have  they  to  do }  Cards, 
piano, —  that  is  their  work.  The  young  lady, 
when  she  just  opens  her  eyes,  off  she  goes  for 
the  piano. —  and  thumps  away  on  it!     And  the 


yS  The  Fruits  of  CiUture 

other,  the  teacher,  who  lives  in  the  house,  is 
already  standing  there  and  waiting  for  the 
piano  to  become  free  ;  when  the  one  is  through, 
dash  —  the  other  pounces  down  on  it.  Some- 
times they  get  two  pianos,  two  sit  down  to  each 
one,  and  then  four  drum  away  at  once.  They 
drum  away,  I  tell  you,  till  one  can  hear  it  down 
here. 

Third  Peasant.     Ah,  gracious  God  ! 

Cook.  That  is  their  work  :  piano  and  cards. 
When  they  meet,  right  away  it's  cards,  wine, 
cigars,  a,nd  so  it  goes  through  the  whole  night. 
Scarcely  are  they  up  in  the  morning,  it's  eating 
again. 

Scene  VI. 

The  Same  and  Semion. 

Semion.     I  wish  you  a  good  dinner. 

First  Peasant.     Please  sit  down. 

Semion  (approaches  the  table).  Thank  you 
very  much.  (  The  first  peasant  pours  him  some 
tea. ) 

Second  Peasant.     Where  have  you  been  .■* 

Semion.     I  have  been  upstairs. 

Second  Peasant.  Well,  what  are  they  doing 
there .-' 

Semion.  I  don't  understand  anything  about 
it.     I  don't  know  what  they  call  it. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  jg 

Second  Peasant.  Well,  but  what  are  they 
doing,  anyhow  ? 

Setnion.  But  I  don't  know  what  it's  called. 
They  tried  to  find  a  force  in  me.  But  I  don't 
understand  anything  about  it.  Tatiana  says : 
Go  on,  she  says,  and  we'll  get  the  land  for  bur 
peasants  ;  he'll  surely  give  it. 

Second  Peasant.  How  does  she  expect  to 
bring  that  round  .'* 

Seniion.  I  don't  understand  her ;  she  won't 
tell.     Only  do  as  I  tell  you,  she  says. 

Second  Peasant.     Do  what  .'* 

Setnion.  First  nothing.  They  made  me  sit 
on  a  chair,  put  out  the  light,  and  told  me  to  go 
to  sleep.  And  Tatiana  hid  herself  near  by. 
They  cannot  see  her,  but  I  see  her. 

Second  Peasant.     What's  the  good  of  that  "i 

Seniion.     God  knows,  I  don't. 

First  Peasant.     Surely  — to  kill  time. 

Second  Peasant.  I  can  see,  we  two  will 
never  make  sense  of  that.  Tell  us  rather,  did 
you  save  much  money  } 

Semion.  I  didn't  get  any.  It  was  all  spent 
for  me.     It  might  amount  to  28  roubles. 

Second  Peasant.  Very  well,  and  if  with 
God's  Jielp  we  complete  the  purchase,  I  will 
take  you  home  with  us,  Semka. 


8o  The  Fruits  of  Culttwe 

Semion.     With  pleasure. 

Second  Peasant.  You  have  become,  I  think, 
a  fine  gentleman.  Y<5u  won't  want  to  do  farm 
work  ? 

Semion,  Farm  work  ?  On  the  spot.  Mow- 
ing, ploughing,  nothing  will  go  against  my  hand. 

First  Peasant.  You  won't  feel  like  returning 
to  city  life,  so  to  speak } 

Semion.  No,  one  can  live  in  the  country, 
too. 

First  Peasant.  Uncle  Mitri  is  already  on 
the  lookout  for  your  place  for  the  fine  living. 

Semion.  Well,  Uncle  Mitri  will  soon  enough 
get  tired  o'f  it.  First  it  looks  easy,  but  you'll 
soon  see  there  is  plenty  of  running  to  do,  and 
then  one's  in  for  it. 

Cook.  O  Uncle  Mitri,  if  you  were  only  to 
attend  their  balls  for  once !  How  you  would 
open  your  eyes ! 

Third  Peasant.  There  they  never  stop  eat- 
ing at  all ! 

Cook.  What  are  you  thinking  about  ?  You 
ought  just  to  see  that !  Fedor  Ivanitch  took 
me  along  once.  I  look  about :  the  ladies  — 
splendid!  Dressed  up,  dressed  up  —  one  can- 
not imagine  it.  And  naked  down  to  here — • 
and  the  arms  naked ! 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  8i 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

Second  Peasant.     Fie,  low  ! 

First  Peasant.  Tiiat  is  to  say,  the  climate 
permits  of  that. 

Cook.  And  I  look  and  look,  little  uncle  : 
what  does  that  mean  ?  all  naked  bodies. 
Would  you  believe  it }  Old  ones,  our  lady  — 
she  has  grand-children,  you  must  know  —  also 
naked. 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

Cook.  And  then  :  when  the  music  starts  up 
and  plays,  every  gentleman  goes  to  his  lady, 
embraces  her,  and  then  they  whirl  round  in  a 
circle. 

Second  Peasant.     The  old  ones  too  .'' 

Cook.     The  old  ones,  too. 

Semion.     No,  the  old  ones  remain  sitting. 

Cook.     You  say  that ;  I  myself  have  seen  it. 

Semion.     But  it  isn't  true. 

Old  Cook  {raising  his  head,  hoarse^.  That  is 
polka-mazurka.  Eh,  you  are  stupid.  You 
don't  know  that.     They  dance  so  .  . . 

Cook.  You,  dancer,  keep  your  mouth  shut, 
do  you  know.     Pst !  somebody  is  coming. 


82  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  VII. 

The  Same  and  Gregori.     The  Old  Ci)OK  hides  himself 
quickly. 

Gregori  {to  the  Cook).     Get  sauerkraut  ! 

Cook.  I've  just  come  from  the  callar,  now 
I  must  run  right  down  again.     For  whom  ? 

Gregori.  A  cooling  dish  for  the  young  ladies. 
Quick  !  Sitting  here  with  Semion,  and  I  don't 
know  where  to  run  to  first. 

Cook.  First  they  fill  themselves  up  with  the 
sweet  stuff,  until  nothing  more  will  go  down ; 
then  they  get  a  taste  for  sauerkraut. 

First  Peasant.  That's  for  cleaning  out  the 
stomach,  so  to  speak. 

Cook.  Well,  when  there  is  room,  they  begin 
to  fill  up  agatn.  {She  takes  a  dish  and  goes 
away) 

Scene  VIII. 

The  Same  except  the  Cook. 

Gregori  {to  the  peasants).  Now  just  see: 
how  comfortable  they  made  themselves.  You 
better  look  out !  If  her  ladyship  should  hear 
of  it,  she  will  raise  a  terrible  storm,  worse  than 
this  morning.     {Laughs  and  goes  away) 


The  Fruits  of  Ctdtiire  83 


Scene  IX. 

The  three  peasants,  Semion,  and  the  Old  Cook  {on  the 

stove'). 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  she  raised  a  fine  hail 
storm  a  while  ago  —  awful ! 

Second  Peasant.  It's  plain,  first  he  was  for 
us,  then  when  he  saw  she  was  taking  the  roof 
off  the  house,  he  slammed  the  door  to.  You 
may  go  to  the  devil,  he  thinks. 

Third  Peasant  {with  a  movement  of  the  hand). 
The  same  story  the  world  over.  My  old  woman, 
too,  I  say,  when  she  gets  into  a  rage, —  God 
save  us  !  Then  I  leave  the  house  of  my  own 
accord.  The  deuce  take  her !  One  is  glad  if 
she  doesn't  go  for  one  with  the  iron  poker. 
jGracious   God ! 

Scene  X. 

The  Same  and  Jacob  {rushes  in  with  a  prescription  in 
his  hand). 

Jacob.      Semion,    hurry   to    the    apothecary, 
quick,  get  these  powders  for  her  ladyship.    . 
Semion.     But  he  told  me  to  stay  here. 
Jacob.     There  is   time   enough.     Your   turn 


84  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

doesn't  come  till  after  tea  ...   I  wish  you  a  good 
dinner ! 

First  Peasant.     Please  sit  down. 

{Exit  Semion.) 


Scene  XI. 
The  Same  except  Semion. 

Jacob.  I  have  no  time  ;  well,  just  a  drop,  for 
company's  sake  ! 

First  Peasant.  We  are  here  holding  a  con- 
versation about  how  haughty  her  ladyship  was 
a  while  ago. 

Jacob.  O,  she  is  hot-tempered !  So  hot- 
tempered  that  she  gets  quite  beside  herself. 
Sometimes  she  cries  in  a  rage. 

Fii-st  Peasant.  What  I  was  going  to  ask,  so 
to  speak.  She  was  all  the  time  talking  about 
macrotes.  Macrotes,  macrotes,  she  says,  they 
brought  macrotes  into  the  house.  What  use 
are  these  macrotes  put  to,  anyhow.? 

Jacob.  Ah,  you  mean  the  macrobes.  That 
is,  they  say,  a  kind  of  bugs  from  which  all 
diseases  are  said  to  spring.  You  see  you  are 
suspected  of  having  some.  And  the  place 
where  you  have  been  has  been  scrubbed  and 


The  Fruits  of  Culttire  85 

scrubbed,  and  sprinkled  and  sprinkled.  There 
is  a  medicine  from  which  they  perish,  these 
little  bugs. 

Second  Peasant.  But  then  whereabouts  on 
us  are  they,  these  little  bugs. 

Jacob  {drinks  tea).  People  say  they  are  so, 
so  small  that  one  can't  see  them,  even  under  a 
glass.    ' 

Second  Peasant.  How  does  she  know  then 
that  there  are  some  on  me .''  Perhaps  she's  got 
more  of  these  filthy  things  than  I  } 

Jacob.     Go  ask  her  yourself ! 

Second  Peasant.  And  I  think  it's  all  empty 
talk. 

Jacob.  Certainly,  empty  talk  ;  but  the  doc- 
tors must  invent  something,  what  should  they 
be  paid  for  else  .''  Every  day  he  comes  driving 
up  to  us.  Walks  in,  says  something  —  pockets 
ten  roubles. 

Second  Peasant.     Impossible ! 

Jacob.  There's  one  even  who  gets  a  —  hun- 
dred. 

First  Peasant.     What }     A  hundred  t 

Jacob.  A  hundred.-'  You  say:  a  hundred.? 
—  A  thousand  one  must  give  when  he  goes  into 
the  country.  If  you  will  give  a  thousand,  he 
says,  well ;  if  not,  die  ! 


86  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

Second  Peasant.  How,  has  he  some  magic 
word  ? 

Jacob,.  Must  be.  Once  I  was  with  a  general 
in  the  neighborhood  of  Moscow,  a  bad,  proud 
gentleman,  the  general,  terrible!  One  day  his 
little  daughter  got  sick.  They  get  the  thou- 
sand roubles  at  once  —  and  I  come  .  .  .  They 
all  agreed,  and  he  came.  Then  something  was 
not  done  right  for  him.  O,  I  tell  you,  how  he 
pounces  down  on  the  general !  Ah  !  says  he, 
that  is  the  respect  you  have  for  me,  that  is  the 
respect.  Very  well,  cure  your  child  yourself  !  — 
What  do  you  think  .'*  The  general  forgot  his 
pride  and  flattered  him  in  every  way  :  little 
father,  do  not  desert  us  ! 

First  Peasant.  And  he  got  the  thousand 
roubles  .'' 

Jacob.     What  else,  do  you  think  .-* 

Second  Peasant.  Ridiculously  much  money  \ 
What  could  not  we  peasants  do  with  so  much 
money ! 

TJiird  Peasant.  And  I  think  it's  all  bosh. 
When  I  got  footsore  that  time  —  I  doctored  and 
doctored,  five  roubles'  worth  I  doctored.  Then 
I  stopped  doctoring  —  and  my  foot  was  well. 

( The  Old  Cook  on  the  stove  coughs) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  8/ 

Jacob.     Back  again,  little  friend  ? 

First  Peasant.     What's  he  ? 

Jacob.  He  used  to  be  our  master's  cook  ;  he 
comes  to  see  Lukeria. 

First  Peasant.  That  is  to  say,  head  cook. 
What,  does  he  live  here  ? 

Jacob.  N — n — no  !  He  is  not  allowed  to  be 
here.  He  doesn't  live  anywhere  :  one  day  here, 
the  next  there.  When  he's  got  a  half-penny,  he 
goes  to  a  night  shelter  ;  when  he's  spent  his 
m.oney  in  drink,  he  comes  here. 

Second  Peasant.  How  could  he  get  into 
such  a  way .-' 

Jacob.  He  degenerated.  And  what  a  man 
he  was  —  a  gentleman  !  A  gold  watch  he  car- 
ried, he  got  forty  roubles  a  month,  and  now, 
but  for  Lukeria,  he  would  have  long  ago  died  of 
hunger. 

Scene  XH. 

The  Same  and  the  Cook  {with  sauerkraut). 

Jacob  {to  Lukeria).  As  I  see,  Pavel  Petro- 
vitch  is  back  again. 

Cook.  Where  is  he  to  stay,  then  —  shall  he 
freeze  to  death,  what } 

Third  Peasant.  What  whiskey  does  !  Yes, 
whiskey  .  .  .   {He  smacks  his  lips  in  sympathy.) 


88  The  Fntits  of  Culture 

Second  Peasant.  It's  well-known  :  if  a  man 
is  firm,  he  is  firmer  than  a  rock;  if  he  is  weak, 
he  is  weaker  than  water. 

The  Old  Cook  {gets  dozvn  from  the  stove  zvith 
his  hands  and  feet  trembling).  See  here,  Lu- 
keria,  give  me  a  small  glass. 

Cook.  Where  are  you  crawling  to .''  I  will 
give  you  such  a  glass  !  .  .  . 

Old  Cook.  Do  you  not  fear  God .''  I  am 
dying !     Good  friends,  a  nickel ! 

Cook.  See  here,  hurry,  and  get  back  on  the 
stove. 

Old  Cook.  Cook!  A  small  h-ha-half  glass. 
For  Christ's  sake,  do  you  hear,  do  you  under- 
stand me  —  I  implore  you  in  Christ's  name. 

Cook.     Go,  go  !     You  can  have  tea  ! 

Old  Cook.  Your  tea,  your  tea !  An  insipid 
drink,  it  has  no  strength.  Only  a  drop  of  — 
brandy  —  Lukeria ! 

Third  Peasant.  Ah,  little  friend,  how  he 
suffers  ! 

Second  Peasant.  Give  him  some ;  what  of 
it.? 

Ccok  {goes  to  the  clipboard  and  pours  him  a 
small  glass).     There,  take  !     No  more  though ! 

Old  Cook  {grasps  it  and  drinks  trembling). 
Lukeria,  cook!  I  drink  it,  and  you  must 
know  .  .  .  • 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  89 

Ccok.  Well,  welU  don't  talk !  Climb  back 
on  the  stove,  and  don't  stir! 

{The  Old  Cook  climbs  humbly  on  the  stove  and  does 
not  cease  mumbling  to  himself.) 

Seeond .  Peasant.  What  it  means  when  a 
man's  weak  ! 

First  Peasant.     Real-ly  —  human   weakness ! 
Third  Peasant.     What  can  one  say  about  it? 

{The  Old  Cook  stretches  himself,  and  is  still  mumbling. 
Pause.) 

Seeond  Peasant.  What  I  was  further  going 
to  ask  :  The  girl  here  in  your  house,  the  one 
from  our  place,  Axinia's  girl  —  how  is  it  with 
her,  how?  What  kind  of  a  life  is  she  leading  — 
that  is  to  say,  is  she  respectable  ? 

Jacob.  A  good  girl ;  one  must  speak  well  of 
her. 

Cook'.  I  will  tell  you  the  truth,  little  uncle,  I 
know  all  about  the  life  here  ;  do  you  want  to 
take  Tatiana  for  your  son — -then  quick  before 
she  comes  to  grief;  for  that  is  sure  to  come. 

Jacob.  Yes,  that  is  really  so.  In  the  sum- 
mer there  was  a  girl  with  us,  Natalie ;  she  was 
a  good  girl,  and  she  was  ruined  for  nothing, 
worse  than  this  one.  .  .  .  {He  points  to  the  Old 
Cook.) 


90  lite  Fniits  of  Culture 

Cook.  Thousands  of  us  are  ruined  here, 
whole  villages  of  us.  Everybody  is  enticed  by 
the  easy  work  and  the  good  eating.  .  .  .  And 
with  the  good  eating  —  you  see — it  goes  down 
hill  quickly.  And  when  she  is  down,  then  they 
don't  need  such  a  one  any  more.  Away  with 
her  at  once  —  let's  have  a  new  one.  It  was  so 
with  that  dear  Natalie — she  was  down  —  she 
was  driven  away  at  once.  She  gave  birth  and 
was  taken  sick,  and  last  spring  she  died  in  the 
hospital.     And  what  a  girl  that  was ! 

Third  Peasant.  Gracious  God!  Weak  creat- 
ures.    They  are  to  be  pitied. 

Old  Cook.  Yes,  they  pity  us,  those  vermin  ! 
{He  dangles  his  legs  doivn  from  the  stove.)  For 
thirty  years  I  roasted  myself  at  the  heat  —  then 
they  had  no  use  for  me  any  more,  die  like  a 
dog !  .  .  .  Yes,  they  pity  one ! 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly  true,  so  goes  the 
world  ! 

Second  Peasant.  As  long  as  they  are  eating 
and  drinking,  you  are  their  good  fellow.  When 
they  have  eaten  enough  and  drunk  enough  — 
begone,  filthy  dog ! 

Third  Peasant.     Gracious  God  ! 

Old  Cook.  You  know  a  heap.  What  is : 
Szoti^  a   la    boniong?      What    is:    Bavassarif 


The  Fruits  of  Cult  tire  91 

How  much  I  used  to  know!  Just  think  of  it! 
The  Czar  has  eaten  the  work  of  my  hands. 
Now  those  vermin  don't  need  me  any  more ! 
But  they  won't  down  me  ! 

Cook.  Well,  well,  his  tongue  has  begun  to 
wag.  Go  to  the  .  .  .  !  Go  crawl  into  your 
corner,  that  they  won't  see  you.  If  Fedor 
Ivanitch  or  some  of  the  others  should  come, 
they'll  chase  you  and  me  both  out  of  the  house. 

\Patise.) 

Jacob.  Do  you  also  know  my  part  of  the 
country,  Wosnessenskoie  .-* 

Second  Peasant.  To  be  sure  we  know  it, 
seventeen  versts  from  us ;  it's  no  further,  and 
across  the  river  still  less.  What  are  you 
doing  .<*     Have  you  rented  land  .-' 

Jacob.  My  brother  is  a  tenant,  and  I  send 
him  help.  Although  I  am  here  myself,  I  am 
all  the  time  thinking  of  home. 

First  Peasant.     Real-ly. 

Second  Peasant.     So  Anissim  is  your  brother } 

Jacob.  Certainly,  my  own  brother.  At  the 
other  end. 

Second  Peasant.  O,  I  know  —  the  third 
house. 


92  The  I^'rnifs  of  Culture 

Scene  XIII. 

The  Same  and  Tania. 

Tania.  Jacob  Ivan  itch  !  Why  do  you  take 
things  easy  down  here  ?     You  are  called  ! 

Jacob.  Directly  !  What's  the  matter  ? 
Tania.  Fifka  is  barking  !  He  wants  some- 
thing to  eat.  And  she  is  scolding  about  you  : 
what  a  rascal  he  is,  she  says,  he  has  no  pity, 
she  says,  it  was  time  long  ago  to  give  the  dog 
his  dinner,  and  he  doesn't  come !  .  .  .  {She 
laughs.) 

Jacob  {about  to  go).     O,  is  she  mad  .'*     I  hope 
there  won't  be  a  row  ! 

Cook  {to  Jacob).  Why  don't  you  take  the 
sauerkraut  along  ? 

Jacob.     Give  it  to  me,  give    it   to  me.     {He 
takes  the  sauerkraut  and  goes.) 

Scene  XIV. 
V  The  Same  except  Jacob. 

First  Peasant.     Who  is  to  eat  dinner  now  ">. 

Tania.  The  dog.  Her  dog.  .  .  .  {She  sits 
down  beside  them  and  takes  the  teapot)  Is 
there  some  tea  there  still  t — if  not,  I've  brought 
some  with  me.     {She pours  tea) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  93 

Second  Peasant.     The  dog  must  eat  dinner? 

Tania.  Certainly !  A  special  chop  is  pre- 
pared for  him,  that  it  may  not  be  too  fat.  I 
wash  his  clothes  for  him,  for  the  dog. 

Third  Peasa?tt.     Gracious  God  ! 

Tania.  Just  like  the  master  who  had  a  fu- 
neral for  his  dog. 

Second  Peasant.     What's  that  story  ? 

Tatiia.  Listen  —  a  man  told  it  —  a  certain 
lord's  dog  had  died.  In  the  midst  of  the  winter 
he  drove  out  to  bury  him  ;  buries  him,  drives 
back,  and  weeps.  There  was  a  real  sharp  frost, 
the  coachman's  nose  trickles,  and  he  wipes  it. 
.  .  .  Let  me  have  your  glasses  !  {Pours  out  tea.) 
It  trickles  and  trickles,  and  he  keeps  on  wiping. 
The  master  sees  it:  "How,"  says  he,  "why 
are  you  weeping .'' "  And  the  coachman  says: 
"  Why,  Sir,  why  shouldn't  I  weep }  What  a 
dog  that  was  !  "     {She  laugJis^ 

Second  Peasant.  And  to  himself  I  suppose 
he  was  thinking  :  If  it  had  been  you  who  kicked 
the  bucket,  I  shouldn't  cry  either.  .  .  .  {He 
laughs.) 

Old  Cook  {from  the  stove).     That's  so,  sure  ! 

Tania.  Very  well,  the  master  returns  home, 
straight  he  goes  to  his  wife  :  "  How  good,"  says 
he,  "our  coachman  is,  he  wept  the  whole  way 


94  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

—  so  sorry  was  he  for  my  Ami."     Have  him 

called  :  "  There  you  shall  have  some  whiskey, 

and  here  as  a  reward  —  a  rouble."     She  is  just 

like  that,  and  is  angry  if  Jacob  has  no  pity  for 

the  dog. 

{The  peasants  laugh.) 

First  Peasant.     Very  good  ! 

Second  Peasant.     Well,  indeed  ! 

Third  Peasant.     I  declare,  girl,  you're  witty! 

Tania  {pours  more  tea).  Drink  some  more ! 
Yes,  so  it  iSj  one  thinks  this  sort  of  life  so  fine, 
when  it  is  disgusting  to  clean  away  all  their 
filth.     Fi !     In  the  country  it  is  better. 

{The  peasants  turn  up  their  cups  again,  which  they  had 
turned  down.) 

Tania  {pours  tea).  Drink,  may  it  do  you 
good,  Jefim  Anton  itch  !  Let  me  help  you  to 
some,  Mitri  Vlassievitch  ! 

Third  Peasant.     Well,  then,  fill  up,  fill  up. 

First  Peasant.  Now  tell  me,  sly  little  puss, 
does  our  affair  progress  } 

Tania.     O,  it  progresses  .  .  . 

First  Peasant.      Semion  has  told  .  .  . 

Tania  {quickly).     Told  .-* 

Second  Peasant.  But  one  can't  understand 
him. 


The  I'^ruits  of  Culture  95 

Taiiia.  I  can't  say  anything  at  all  now,  but 
I'll  fix  it,  I'll  fix  it.  Look  here  —  here  is  your 
paper,  too  !  {SJie  points  to  the  paper  tinder  her 
apron.)  If  only  the  one  stroke  would  succeed. 
.  .  .   {She  squeals.)     O,  how  nice  that  would  be  ! 

Second  Peasant.  Only  look  out,  though,  that 
you  don't  lose  the  paper.     It  has  cost  money. 

Tania.  Be  quite  at  your  ease.  The  chief 
thing  is,  isn't  it,  that  he  signs  it .' 

Third  Peasant.  Why,  what  else  .''  His  sig- 
nature and  —  everything  is  done.  {He  tnrns 
down  his  cup)     Enough. 

Tania  {to  herself).     He'll  sign,  you  will  see, 

he'll  sign.     Drink  some  more.     {She  pours  tea.) 

.  First  Peasant.     If  you'll  only  bring  about  the 

completion  of  the  sale,  we  will  marry  you  at  the 

expense  of  the  village.      {He  declines  the  tea) 

Tania  {pours  tea  and  passes  the  cups).     Drink  ! 

'  Thij'd  Peasant.      Just    carry   it  out !      And 

we'll  marry  you,  I  say,  and  I  will  dance  at  your 

wedding.     Although   I  have  not  danced  in  my 

whole  life,  I  will  dance  then  ! 

Tania  {laughs).  That  I  hope  will  come  true. 
{Pause) 

Second  Peasant  {looking  at  Tania).  Yes, 
that's  all  very  fine  ;  but  you  are  not  fit  for 
peasants'  work. 


96  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Taiiia.  I  not  fit  ?  What,  do  you  think  I 
have  no  strength  ?  You  ought  to  see  me  pull 
her  ladyship  together;  no  peasant  could  pull 
harder. 

Second  Peasant.  Where  do  you  pull  her  to, 
then  ? 

Tania.  It  is  made  of  whalebone,  like  a  little 
jacket,  down  to  here.  And  it  is  pulled  together 
with  strings,  as  in  harnessing  up ;  one  must 
even  spit  on  one's  hands. 

Second  Peasant.  That  is  to  say,  you  lace  her 
tight  ? 

Tania.  Yes,  yes,  I  lace  her  tight.  And 
one  surely  cannot  prop  one's  feet  against  her. 
{She  laughs^ 

Second  Peasant.  But  why  do  you  pull  her 
together } 

Tania.     So,  that's  why. 

Second  Peasant.  What,  has  she  taken  a 
vow,  or  what .-' 

Tajiia.     No,  no,  for  beauty. 

First  Peasant.  You  pull  her  paunch  together, 
so  to  speak,  for  beauty's  sake .'' 

Tania.  One  pulls  and  pulls  until  her  eyes 
start  from  their  sockets,  and  still  she  says : 
"More,"-  One  draws  blisters  on  one's  hands; 
and  you  say  I  have  no  strength  ! 

{The peasants  laugh  and  wag  their  heads.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  97 

Tania.  But  here  I  sit  and  talk.  {She  runs 
away  laughing) 

Third  Peasant.  That's  what  I  call  a  girl, 
she's  witty  ! 

First  Peasant.     And  how  accurate  she  is  ! 

Second  Peasant.     O,  yes  ! 

Scene  XV. 

The  three  peasants,  the  Cook,  the  Old  Cook  {on  the 
stove),  Sachatoff  and  Vassili  Leoniditch  com- 
ing.    Sachatoff  holding  a  teaspoon  in  his  hand. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Not  exactly  a  dinner, 
but  a  dejeuner  dinatoire.  And  I  tell  you,  it  was 
a  splendid  breakfast:  ham  of  young  pig  —  deli- 
cious !  One  dines  exquisitely  at  Roulliet's.  I 
have  just  now  come.  {Observing  the  peasants)  > 
And  the  peasants  are  here  again. 

Sachatoff.  Yes,  yes,  that  is  all  very  fine; 
but  we  came  here  to  hide  something.  Where 
shall  we  hide  it } 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Pardon,  a  moment.  {To 
the  Cook)     Where  are  thjr  dogs  .-' 

Cook.  In  the  coachmen's  room.  They  are 
surely  not  to  be  taken  into  the  domestics' 
room } 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Ah,  in  the  coachmen's 
room  .''     Very  well,  * 


98  Tlie  Fruits  of  C  11 1 /lire 

SacJiatojf.     I  am  waiting. 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  Pardon,  pardon.  What, 
now .''  Conceal  something  ?  You  know,  Sergei 
Ivanovitch,  I'll  tell  you  something :  in  the 
pocket  of  a  peasant,  one  of  these  here.  Say 
this  one.     You  there.     Where  is  your  pocket .-' 

TJiird  Peasant.  What  do  you  want  of  my 
pocket .''  Just  think,  my  pocket  he  wants  !  I 
have  money  in  my  pocket. 

SacJiatoff.     Well,  where  is  your  little  purse  t 

Thii'd  Peasant.     What's  that  to  you  .'' 

Cook.  What  are  you  doing }  That's  the 
young  gentleman. 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi  (laiigJis).  Do  you  know 
why  he  is  so  frightened  }  I'll  tell  you  :  he's 
got  a  lot  of  money  in.  his  pocket.  Eh  .? 
'  SacJiatoff.  Yes,  yes,  I  understand.  Well 
then  :  You  talk  to  him,  meantime  I'll  slip  it 
into  this  bag  —  so  that  they  themselves  won't 
know  and  can't  show  him.     Talk  to  them. 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  Right  away,  right  away. 
Well,  how  is  it,  children,  will  you  buy  the 
land  t     Eh  .? 

First  Peasant.  We,  we  want  to  with  our 
whole  heart.     But  the  affair  don't  get  on. 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  You  must  only  not  be 
miserly.       Land  —  is    an    important    thing.       I 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  99 

have  already  told  you  —  mint.  One  can  raise 
tobacco,  too. 

First  Peasant.     Yes,  real-ly,  all  products. 

Third  Peasant.  And  you,  little  father,  do 
put  in  a  good  word  for  us.  How  can  we  live.'' 
The  land  is  small  —  not  even  a  hen,  I  say,  has 
room. 

Sachatoff  {has  slipped  the  spSon  into  the  bag 
of  the  third  peasant).  C est  fait.  Done.  Let 
us  go.     {Exit.) 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  Remember  not  to  be 
miserly.     Ah  .-"     Well,  good  bye  !     {Exit.) 


Scene  XVI. 

The  three  peasants,  the  Cook,  and  the  Old  Cook  {on 
the  stove). 

First  Peasant.  I  said  at  the  start :  to  our 
lodgings.  For  a  dime,  I  say,  each  of  us  could 
have  had  a  room,  and  we  would  at  least  have 
had  peace ;  here,  God  save  us.  Hand  out  your 
money,  he  says.     What  does  that  mean  t 

Second  Peasant.  He  surely  has  been  drink- 
ing. 

{The  peasants   turn   down   their  cups,  rise,  and  cross 
themselves.) 


lOO  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

First  Peasant.  Just  think,  how  smart,  what 
he  said  about  the  mint  that  we  ought  to  sow. 
That  one  must  understand. 

Second  Peasant.  To  sow  mint,  as  if  that 
were  such  an  easy  matter.  Just  try  it  once, 
strain  your  back  at  it,  and  you  will  soon  get 
sick  of  mint.  .  .  .  No,  thank  you!  Now  say, 
little  sly-boots;  where  are  we  to  sleep  here } 

Cook.  Lie  down  —  one  of  you  on  the  stove, 
the  others  each  on  a  bench. 

Third  Peasant.  Christ  my  Saviour.  {He 
prays?) 

First  Peasant.  God  prosper  our  business ! 
{He  lies  down.)  To-morrow  afternoon  we  might 
leave;  on  the  railroad  ;  Tuesday  we  are  home. 

Second  Peasant.     Will  you  put  out  the  light } 

Cook.  How  so,  put  out }  Don't  they  all 
come  running :  the  one  wanting  this,  the  other 
that.  .  .  .  However,  only  lie  down  ;  I'll  turn  it 
down. 

Second  Peasant.  How  can  one  make  both 
ends  meet  on  the  small  strip  of  land  .?  Ever 
since  Christmas  I've  been  obliged  to  buy  grain. 
And  the  oat  straw  is  giving  out.  So  I  might 
take  four  desjatines  myself,  have  Semion  come 
home. 

First  Peasant.      You   have    a    family.      No 


-     The  Fruits  of  Culture  lOl 

trouble  on  that  score  !  You  can  till  the  land  if 
you  only  get  it.  If  only  our  business  might 
end  fortunately ! 

Third  Peasant.     We  must  pray  to  the  holy 
virgin.     Perhaps  she  will  have  mercy. 


Scene  XVII. 

Quiet  J  sighing.  Then  steps  arc  heard,  voices,  the  door 
is  thrown  wide  open,  and  in  rush  Grossmann, 
blindfolded,  Sachatoff,  whom  Grossmann  is  hold- 
ing by  the  hand,  the  Professor  and  the  Physician, 
the  Fat  Lady  and  Leonid  Fedorovitch,  Betsy 
and  Petristcheff,  Vassili  Leoniditch  and 
Maria  Konstantinovna,  Her  Ladyship  and  the 
Baroness,  Fedor  Ivanitch  and  Tania.  The 
three  peasants,  the  Cook  and  the  Old  Cook  {in- 
visible).—  The  peasants  jump  up. —  Grossmann 
enters  with  quick  steps  and  remains  standittg. 

Fat  I^ady.  Don't  fear,  I'll  watch,  I  have 
taken  it  upon  myself  to  watch,  and  will  do  my 
duty  strictly.  Sergei  Ivanovitch,  you  are  not 
leading  him } 

Sachatoff.     No,  no. 

Fat  Lady.  Do  not  lead  him,  but  follow  him 
willingly.  {To  Leonid  Fedorovitch)  I  know 
these  experiments.  I  have  made  them  myself. 
I  feel  a  twitching,  and  the  same  moment  .  .  . 


102  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  Pardon  mc,  but  I  must 
ask  you  to  keep  perfect  quiet. 

Fat  Lady.  O,  yes,  I  understand  that  very 
well.  I  have  experienced  that  myself.  As 
soon  as  the  attention  was  drawn  off,  I  could  no 
longer  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     'Sh,  'sh  .  .  . 

( They  walk  about,  make  search  near  the  first  and  sec- 
ond peasants,  and  approach  the  third. —  Gross- 
MANN  stumbles  over  a  bench.) 

Baroness.     Mais  dites-moi,  on  le  payef- 

Her  Ladyship,    Je  ne  saurais  vons  dire. 

Baroness.     Mais,  c  est  un  monsieur  ? 

Her  Ladyship.     Oh,  oui  ! 

Baroness:  (^a  tient  du  niiraculeux.  N'est-ce 
pas  ?     Comment  est-ce  qiiil  trouve  ? 

Her  Ladyship.  Je  ne  saurais  vous  dire. 
Man  mari  vous  V cxpliquera.  (She  sees  the 
peasants  and  looks  for  the  Cook)  Pardon, 
What  is  this  t 

{The  Baroness  approaches  the group!)^ 

Her  Ladyship  {to  the  Cook).  Who  admitted 
the  peasants .'' 

Cook.     Jacob  brought  them  here. 

Her  Ladyship.     Who  told  Jacob  to  .-' 

Cook.  I  don't  know.  Fedor  Ivan  itch  saw 
them. 


The  Fniits  of  Culture  103 

Her  Ladyship.     Leonid  ! 

(Lkomd  Fedorovitch   docs  not  hearj  he   is  absorbed 
in  the  search,  and  hisses  for  silence.) 

Her  Ladyship.  Fedor  Ivanitch  !  What  does 
this  mean  ?  Did  you  not  see  that  I  disinfected 
the  whole  hall,  and  now  they  have  infected  the 
whole  kitchen,  the  black  bread,  the  kvass.  .  .  . 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  I  did  not  think  it  was  dan- 
gerous here.  And  the  men  are  here  on  busi- 
ness. They  come  from  far  away,  from  my 
home. 

Her  Ladyship.  That's  just  it,  from  the 
region  of  Kursk,  where  people  are  dying  like 
flies  of  diphtheria  —  and  above  all  —  I  gave 
orders  that  they  should  not  remain  in  the  house. 
.  j».  Did  I  give  orders,  or  didn't  I  .■*  {She  ap- 
proaches the  others,  who  have  crowded  around 
the  peasants)  Take  care !  Do  not  touch 
them;  they  are  all  infected  with  diphtheria! 

{i\'o  one  listens  to  her  j  she  steps  aside  with  dignity,  re- 
mains standing  fnotionless,  and  waits.) 

Petristcheff  [sniffing).  Diphtheria  .'*  don't 
know ;  but  there  is  some  infectious  matter  in 
the  air.     Don't  you  smell  it.-* 

Betsy.       Don't  talk!     Wowo,  in  which  bag.-* 
Vassili  L^eoniditch.     In  that  one,  in  that  one. 
He  is  coming,  he  is  coming  closer. 


I04  1  Jic  Fruits  of  Culture 

Pctristchcff.  What  is  it  now  —  spirit  vapor 
or  vapor  spirit  ? 

Betsy.  Here  your  cigarettes  come  in  just 
right  for  once.  Smoke,  do  smoke,  closer  to 
me. 

(Petristcheff  bc/ids  forward  and  smokes  on  her.) 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  He'll  find  it,  I  tell  you. 
Eh.? 

Grossmann  {looks  excitedly  at  the  third  peas- 
ant).    Here,  here.     I  feel  that  it  is  here. 

Fat  Lady.     Do  you  feel  a  twitching  .-' 

(Grossmann  bends  down  to  the  bag  and  draws  out  the 
spoof  I.) 

All.     Bravo  !     {General  enthjtsiasvi .) 
Vassili  Leoniditch.     Ah  !  do  you  see  where 
our  teaspoon's  been  .!*     {To  the  peasant.)     That^s 
the  kind  you  are  } 

Third  Peasant.  What  kind  am  I  .?  I  did 
not  take  your  spoon.  What  is  he  about  ?  I 
have  taken  nothing,  I  have  taken  nothing,  my 
conscience  is  clear.  And  he  could  do  anything ! 
I  saw  at  once  it  wasn't  anything  good  he 
wanted.  Hand  me  your  bag,  said  he.  I  have 
taken  nothing,  Christ  is  my  witness,*  I  have 
taken  nothing. 

{The youttg people  encircle  him  and  taugh.) 

*  At  these  words  the  Russian  peasant  crosses  himself. 


The  Fruits  of  CitJture  105 

Leonid  Fedorovitck  {angry  at  his  son).  Al- 
ways and  forever  your  foolish  tricks  !  {To  the 
third  peasant.)  Calm  yourself,  good  man.  We 
know  that  you  have  not  taken  anything.  It  was 
an  experiment. 

Grossmann  {takes  off  his  bandage  and  acts  as 
if  he  were  coming  to).  Water,  if  I  may  ask  .  .  . 
Have  the  goodness. 

{E7'ery  Ofte  is  busy  about  him.) 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  Let  us  go  to  the  coach- 
men's room.  I  will  show  you  what  a  hound  I 
have  there.     Epatant  !     Eh  .-' 

Betsy.  What  an  ugly  word.  Don't  we  say 
dog  ? 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  No,  that  won't  do.  I 
surely  cannot  say  of  you  :  What  an  epatant  per- 
son is  Betsy!  I  must  say  :  girl.  So  it  is  here, 
too.  Eh.-*  Maria  Konstantinovna,  am  I  not 
right }     Well  said  .''     {He  laughs^ 

Maria  Konstantittovna.     Let  us  go. 

{Exeunt  Maria   Konstantinovna,    Betsy,  Petrist- 
CHEFF,  and  Vassili  Leoniditch.) 


Io6  The  Fruits  of  CiiltJire 

Scene  XVIII. 

The   Same   except  Betsy,   Maria   Konstantinovna, 
Petristcheff,  and  Vassili   Leoxiditch. 

Fat  Lady  {to  Grossmann).  What  ?  How  ? 
Have  you  recovered  ?  {Grossmann  docs  not  an- 
swer. To  Sachatoff.)  Sergei  Ivanovitch,  did 
you  not  feel  a  twitching  ? 

Sachatoff.  I  didn't  feel  anything  whatever. 
But  it  was  fine,  it  was  fine.     A  perfect  success. 

Baroness.  Admirable !  Qa  ne  le  fait  pas 
souffrir  ? 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Pas  le  vioins  du  monde. 

Professor  {to  Grossmann).  Will  you  permit 
me  .''  {He  hands  a  thermometer  to  the  physician.) 
At  the  beginning  of  the  experipient  it  was  99. 
( To  the  physician.)  Wasn't  it  so  ?  Have  the  kind- 
ness to  take  his  pulse.     A  loss  is  inevitable. 

Physician  {to  Gi'ossmann).  Well,  Sir,  will 
you  let  me  feel  your  pulse }  Let  us  examine, 
let  us  examine.  {He  takes  ont  his  watch  and 
grasps  his  hand.) 

Fat  Lady  {to  Grossmann).  Pardon  me.  But 
the  condition  in  which  you  have  been  cannot  be 
called  sleep  ? 

Grossmann  {tired).     A  kind  of  hypnosis. 

Sachatoff.  We  are  to  understand  then  that 
you  have  hypnotized  yourself  ? 


The  Fruits  of  Ciiltttrc  107 

Grossinanit.  And  why  not  ?  Hypnosis 
arises  not  alone  fr6m  association,  from  the 
sounding  of  a  tomtom,  as  for  instance  in  the 
experiments  of  Charcot,  but  from  the  mere  en- 
trance into  the  hypnotic  zone. 

Sachatoff.  Let  us  assume  that  it  is  so  ;  still 
it  remains  desirable  to  have  a  more  exact  defi- 
nition of  what  hypnosis  is. 

Professor.  Hypnosis  is  the  phenomenon  of 
the  conversion  of  one  force  into  another. 

Grossmann.     Charcot  defines  it  differently. 

Sachatoff.  Pardon  me,  pardon  me.  That  is 
your  definition  ;  but  Liebault  has  himself  told 
me  .  .  . 

Physician  {letting  go  the  pulse).  Very  well, 
and  now  the  temperature. 

Fat  Lady  {pbtrnding  herself).  No,  pardon 
me  !  I  agree  with  Alexei  Vladimjrovitch.  I 
will  give  you  the  best  proof.  When  after  my 
illness  I  lay  unconscious,  I  was  seized  by  a  long- 
ing to  speak.  I  am  in  general  reticent  ;  but 
then  I  was  seized  by  a  longing  to  speak  and  to 
speak,  and  I  spoke,  said  the  people,  so  that  all 
were  astonished.  {To  Sachatoff.)  However,  I 
believe  I  have  interrupted  you  .■* 

Sachatoff  {dignified).  Not  in  the  least.  Tut, 
tut. 


io8  The  Frtiits  of  Culture 

Physician.  Pulse  82,  temperalure  has  risen 
half  a  degree. 

Professor.  There  is  the  proof.  So  it  had  to 
be,  too.  {He  takes  out  a  note  book  and  writes.) 
82,  correct  .^  And  99^  .''  The  approach  of  hyp- 
nosis is  unfailingly  followed  by  an  increased 
action  of  the  heart. 

Physician.  I  can  testify  as  a  physician  that 
your  prediction  has  come  perfectly  true. 

Professor  {to  Sachatoff).     Your  opinion  then  .'' 

SacJiatoff.  I  was  about  to  say  that  Liebault 
told  me  hypnosis  is  only  a  special  mental  state 
of  greater  impressibility. 

Professor.  To  be  sure.  But  the  main  thing 
is  still  the  law  of  equivalence. 

Grossniann.  Besides,  Liebault  is  far  from 
being  an  authority ;  but  Charcot  has  instituted 
the  most  varied  investigations,  and  demon- 
strated that  hypnosis  is  induced  by  a  stroke,  a 
trauma. 

SacJiatoff.  I  do  not  at  all  deny  Char- 
cot's labors.  I  know  him,  too  ;  I  only  say 
what  Liebault  told  me.  ...  /    v* 

Grossmann  {excited).     There  are  three 
thousand   sick  in    the  Salpetriere,   and   I  (    ^0 
have  taken  a  whole  course  there.  \  ^ 

Professor.  Pardon  me,  gentlemen.  That 
is  not  the  point  at  issue. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  109 

Fat  Lady  {obtruding  herself).  I  will  make  it 
plain  to  you  in  two  words.  When  my  husband 
was  ill,  all  the  physicians  gave  him  up.  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedoroviteh.  But  let  us  go  into  the 
house.     Dear  Baroness,  if  you  please. 

{They  go  away,  all  talking  together,  one  interrupting  the 
other.) 


Scene  XIX. 

The  three  peasants,  the  Cook,  Fedor  IvANrrcH,  Tania, 
the  Old  Cook  {on  the  stove),  Leonid  Fedorovitch, 
and  Her  Ladyship. 

Her  Ladyship  {holding  Leonid  Fedorovitch 
back  by  the  sleeve).  How  often  have  I  begged 
of  you  to  make  no  arrangements  in  the  house. 
You  know  nothing  but  your  nonsense.  And  I 
must  take  the  responsibility.  They  will  infect 
everybody, 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Who  ">  What .?  I  don't 
understand  a  word. 

Her  Ladyship.  How }  People  who  are 
afflicted  with  diphtheria  pass  the  night  in  the 
kitchen,  which  is  related  to  the  house  in  a 
thousand  ways. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     But  I  .  .  . 

Her  Ladyship.     What  I  ? 


no  TJie  Fruits  of  Culture 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  know  of  nothing  what- 
ever. 

Her  Ladyship.  But  you  should  know  if  you 
wish  to  be  the  head  of  the  family.  One  does 
not  do  such  things. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  had  no  idea  ...  I 
thought  ,  .  . 

Her  Ladyship.  Exasperating  to  listen  to  you  ! 
(Leonid  Fedorovitch  remains  silent.) 

Her  Ladyship  {to  Fedor  Lvanitch).  Away 
with  them  at  once !  I  do  not  want  to  see  them 
in  my  kitchen  !  It  is  terrible,  nobody  obeys, 
all  to  spite  me  .  .  . !  I  send  them  away  from 
one  place ;  they  let  them  in  again  at  another. 
{She  talks  herself  more  and  more  into  a  rage  and 
begins  to  cry)  All  to  spite  me  !  All  to  spite 
me!  And  in  my  illness!  Doctor!  doctor! 
Peter  Petrovitch  !  .  .  .  He,  too,  is  away! 
{Exit,  sobbing.      Leonid   Fedorovitch  follows  her) 

Scene  XX. 

The  three  peasants,  Tania,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  the  Cook, 

and  the  Old  Cook  {on  the  stove). 
Tableaux.     All  remain  standing  silent  for  some  time. 

TJiird  Peasant.  Heaven  rest  their  souls. 
A  little  more  and  they  would  hand  one  over  to 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  1 1 1 

the  police.  In  my  whole  life  I  have  not  had 
anything  to  do  with  the  courts.  Let's  go  to 
a  lodging-house,  children. 

Fedor  Foanitch  (to  Tanid).  What's  to  be 
done  now  ? 

Tania.  Only  keep  cool,  Fedor  Ivanitch. 
Into  the  coachmen's  room  with  them. 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Into  the  coachmen's  room  ">. 
That  is  impossible !  The  coachman  has  al- 
ready complained  that  it  is  crowded  with  dogs. 

Tania.     Into  the  domestics'  room  tfhen. 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.     And  if  it's  found  out  t 

Tania.  Nobody  will  find  it  out.  Don't  fear, 
Fedor  Ivanitch.  Can  we  send  them  away  in 
the  middle  of  the  night }  They  wouldn't  find 
their  way. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Well,  do  what  you  please ; 
only  see  that  they  don't  remain  here.    {Exit.) 

Scene  XXI. 

The  three  peasants,  Tania,   the  Cook,   and  the  Old 
Cook.     The  peasants  pick  up  their  hags. 

Old  Cook.  Look,  such  damned  vermin  !  It 
goes  too  well  with  them  !     Vermin  ! 

Cook.  Hush,  you  at  least!  You  ought  to 
thank  God  that  they  did  not  see  you. 


112  The  Fruits  of  Culture     ' 

Tania.  Come  along  then,  little  uncles,  into 
the  domestics'  room. 

First  Peasant.  Well,  and  our  business  ? 
How  is  it,  so  to  speak,  with  the  signature? 
Plow,  can  we  hope  ? 

Tania      In  an  hour  we  shall  know  all. 

Second  Peasant.     Will  you  be  sly  enough  ? 

Tania  {laughs).     So  God  will. 

{Curtain  falls.) 


ACT   III. 

The  action  takes  place  in  the  evening  of  the  same  day, 
in  the  small  reception  room  where  Leonid  Fedoro- 
viTCH  usually  makes  his  experiments. 


Scene  I. 
Leonid  Fedorovitch  and  the  Professor. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  What  do  you  think, 
shall  we  risk  the  seatice  with  our  new  medium } 

Professor.  Certainly.  The  medium  is  un- 
doubtedly strong.  But  above  all  it  is  desirable 
that  our  mediumistic  seance  should  take  place 
to-day,  and  moreover  with  the  same  persons. 
Undoubtedly,  the  influence  of  the  mediumistic 
force  must  manifest  itself  in  Grossmann ;  then 
the  connection  and  unity  of  the  phenomena 
will  be  still  plainer.  You  will  convince  your- 
self, if  the  medium  shall  be  as  powerful  as 
before,  that  Grossmann  will  get  into  a  vibrat- 
ing motion. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  Then  I  will  call  Semion 
and  invite  the  company. 


114  ^^^'■'^  Fruits  of  Culture 

Professor.     Yes,  yes.     I  only  want  to  make 
a  few  notes. 

{He  takes  out  a  note  book  and  writes.) 


Scene  II. 

The  Same  and  Sachatoff. 

Sachatoff,  In  there,  in  Anna  Pavlovna's 
room,  they  are  sitting  at  the  card  table.  I  as 
the  man  of  straw  .  .  .  and  besides  as  a  curious 
spectator,  announce  myself  to  you.  .  .  .  Well, 
will  the  sdajtcc  take  place .'' 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  Certainly,  it  will  un- 
doubtedly take  place. 

Sachatoff,  What,  without  the  mediumistic 
force  of  Mr.  Kaptchitch .? 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Vous  avez  la  main  heu- 
reuse.  Just  think,  the  same  peasant  of  whom 
I  told  you  proved  himself  to  be  an  unquestion- 
able medium. 

Sachatoff.  Remarkable !  Oh,  that  is  ex- 
ceedingly interesting. 

L^eonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes,  yes.  We  put  him 
to  a  little  experimental  test  after  tea. 

Sachatoff,  Did  it  succeed,  and  are  you  con- 
vinced ? 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  115 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Thoroughly,  he  proved 
himself  a  medium  of  unusual  force. 

SacJiatoff  (jncredulous).     Remarkable! 

Leo)iid  Fedorovitch.  It  turned  out  that  in 
the  domestics'  room  it  had  already  been  long 
noticed.  He  sits  down  to  a  plate,  and  the 
spoon  hops  as  of  itself  into  his  hand.  {To  the 
Professor.)     Do  you  hear  that .? 

Professor.     No,  tJiat  I  have  not  heard. 

Snchatoff  {to  the  Professoi).  But  you  surely 
admit  the  possibility  of  such  phenomena  } 

Professor.     What  phenomena } 

Sachatoff.  Well,  in  general,  Spiritualistic, 
mediumistic,  and,  in  short,  supernatural  phe- 
nomena. 

Professor.  ■  The  question  is  :  what  do  we  call 
supernatural }  When  —  not  a  living  being, 
man,  but  a  piece  of  stone  attracted  a  nail  to 
itself,  how  did  research  regard  this  phenome- 
non :  as  natural  or  supernatural  .-* 

Sachatoff.  Yes,  very  true ;  but  such  phe- 
nomena as  the  attraction  of  a  magnet  con- 
stantly repeat  themselves. 

Professor.  It  is  just  so  here.  The  phenom- 
enon repeats  itself,  and  we  seek  to  investigate 
it.  More  :  we  seek  to  range  the  investigated 
phenomena  under  the  laws  common  to  all  other 


Il6  TJie  Fruits  of  Culture 

phenomena.  The  phenomena,  surely,  appear 
as  supernatural  only  because  we  ascribe  the 
causes  of  the  phenomena  to  the  medium  itself. 
]3ut  that  is  false.  The  phenomena  are  not  pro- 
duced by  the  medium,  but  by  a  spiritual  force 
acting  through  the  medium,  and  that  is  a  great 
difference.  The  solution  of  the  question  lies 
—  in  the  law  of  equivalence. 

Sachatoff.     Yes,  very  true,  but  .  .  . 

Scene  III. 

The  Same  and  Tania  {enters  and  gets  behind  the  por- 
tih-c). 

Lcofiid  Fedorovitch.  But  you  must  know  one 
thing.  As  in  the  case  of  Home  and  Kaptchitch, 
so  also  in  the  case  of  this  medium,  we  must  not 
rely  on  anything  in  advance.  It  may  fail,  but 
it  may  just  as  likely  prove  a  complete  materiali- 
zation. 

Sachatoff.  A  materialization  even  }  In  what 
is  this  materialization  to  consist } 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  In  the  apparition  of  a 
deceased  person,  your  father,  your  grandfather; 
in  that  he  takes  you  by  the  hand,  gives  you 
something  ;  or  in  that  somebody  suddenly  rises 
in  the  air,  as  happened  to  Alexei  Vladimirovitch 
at  our  last  seance. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  1 1 7 

Professor.  True,  true.  But  the  principal 
thing  is :  the  explanation  of  the  phenomena 
and  their  classification  under  the  general  laws. 


Scene  IV. 
The  Same  and  the  Fat  Lady. 

Fat  Lady.  Anna  Pavlovna  has  permitted  me 
to  come  over  to  you. 

Leonid  FedoroviteJi.     Pleased  to  have  you. 

Fat  Lady.  But  how  it  fatigued  Grossmann  ! 
He  could  scarcely  hold  the  cup.  Did  you  no- 
tice how  pale  he  grew  {to  the  Pjvfessor)  the  mo- 
ment he  drew  near  .^  I  observed  it  at  once, 
and  first  told  Anna  Pavlovna  about  it. 

Professor.  Without  doubt  the  loss  of  vital 
force. 

Fat  Lady.  I  say  too  that  it  must  not  be 
done  to  excess.  Just  think  of  it;  the  hypnotizer 
suggested  to  an  acquaintance  of  mine,  Vie- 
ratchka  Konchina  —  you  know  her  —  that  she 
should  stop  smoking  ;•  then  her  back  began  to 
ache. 

Professor  {trying  to  speak.)  The  height  of 
the  temperature  and  the  pulse  plainly  point 
to  .  .  . 

Fat  Lady.     Allow   me   one  moment.     I  tell 


Ii8  The  Fruits  of  Ctdturc 

her  :  it  is  much  better  to  smoke  than  to  suffer 
so  from  the  nerves.  Of  course,  smoking  is 
harmful,  and  I  too  would  much  rather  give  it 
up;  but  what  do  you  want,  it  won't  do.  ...  I 
didn't  smoke  once  for  two  weeks,  then  I  couldn't 
stand  it  any  longer. 

Professor  {again  tries  to  speak).  Plainly  point 
to.  .  . 

Fat  Lady.  But  no,  allow  me.  Only  two 
words.  You  say :  a  loss  of  forces  }  And  I 
wanted  to  say,  when  I  rode  in  the  stage  .  .  . 
The  roads  were  abominable  at  that  time,  you 
cannot  remember  the  time,  and  I  have  made 
the  observation,  you  may  say  what  you  please, 
that  our  nervousness  comes  only  from  the  rail- 
roads, I,  for  instance,  cannot  sleep  while  trav- 
elling.—  You  might  kill  me,  but  I  couldn't  go 
to  sleep. 

Professor  {wants  to  begin  again,  bitt  the  Fat 
Lady  will  not  let  him).     The  loss  of  force  .  .  . 

Sachatoff  {smiling).     Yes,  yes. 

(Leonid  Fedorovitch  rings  the  bell.) 

Fat  Lady.  I  do  not  close  an  eye  for  one,  two, 
three  nights,  and  in  spite  of  that  I  can't  go  to 
sleep. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  119 

Scene  V. 
The  Same  and  Gregori. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  Tell  Fedor,  please,  that 
he  is  to  prepare  everything  for  the  stance,  and 
call  Semion  here  ;  Semion,  the  boy,  you  under- 
stand ? 

Gregori.     At  your  service  !     {Exit.) 

Scene  VI. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch,  the  Professor,  the  Fat  Lady, 
and  Tania  {hidden). 

Professor  {to  SaeJtatojf).  The  hei^i^ht  of  the 
temperature  and  the  pulse  have  pointed  to  a 
loss  of  vital  force.  It  will  be  exactly  so  in  the 
mediumistic  phenomena.  The  law  of  the  con- 
servation of  force  .  .  . 

luxt  Lady.  Yes,  yes.  I  only  wanted  to  say 
besides  how  pleased  I  am  that  a  simple  peasant 
has  proven  himself  a  medium.  That  is  wonder- 
ful ;  I  have  always  said  the  Slavophiles  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Let  us  go  into  the  front 
room  meanwhile. 

Fat  Lady.  Permit  me  to  say  two  words  :  .  .  . 
The  Slavophiles  are  right  ;  but  I  have  always 


I20  'TJic  Fruits  of  Culture 

told  my  husband  such  a  thing  must  not  be  car- 
ried to  excess.  Always  the  golden  mean.  How 
can  any  one  maintain  that  with  the  people 
everything  was  good  when  I  have  seen  with  my 
own  eyes  .  .  . 

Leonid  FcdorovitcJi.  Will  you  not  please  go 
into  the  front  room  } 

Fat  Lady.  Such  a  scapegrace,  and  drinks 
already.  I  gave  him  a  good  scolding  on  the 
spot  ;  he  was  thankful  to  me  later  on.  They 
are  —  like  children,  and  children  need  —  I  have 
always  said  so  —  love  and  severity. 

{All  exeunt  talking^ 

Scene  VII. 

Tania  {alone,  comes  from  her  hiding  place  behind  the 
door). 

Tania.  O,  if  it  would  only  succeed !  {She 
fastens  t J  ire  ads) 

Scene  VIII. 

Tania  and  Betsy  {entering  hastily). 

Betsy.  Papa  not  here  .<*  {Looking  at  Tania.') 
What  are  you  doing  here  } 

Tania.     I,  Lisaveta  Leonidovna,  I  only  hap- 


The  Fruits  of  Ctilture  121 

pened  to  pass,  I  wanted  to  ...  I  came  in  .  .  . 
{Embarrassed^ 

Betsy.  Is  not  the  seance  to  take  place  here 
soon  ?  {She  observes  that  Tania  di'azvs  in  the 
threads,  fixes  her  eyes  upon  her,  and  suddenly 
bursts  out  laugJiing  loudly^  Tania !  So  you 
do  everything  ?  Now  don't  deny  it  any  more  ; 
the  last  time  it  was  you,  too  ?     You,  you  ? 

Tania.  Lisaveta  Leonidovna,  sweet,  dear 
lady! 

Betsy  {charmed).  O,  that  is  excellent !  I 
should  not  have  believed  it !  But  why  do  you 
do  that  ? 

Tania.  Dear  gracious  lady,  do  not  betray 
me  ! 

Betsy.  Surely  not,  not  for  the  world !  It 
gives  me  a  mad  pleasure !  But  Jioiv  do  you 
do  it  ? 

Tania.  This  is  the  way ;  I  hide,  and,  when 
the  light  is  out,  I  steal  out  and  do  everything. 

Betsy  {pointing  to  a  thread).  And  what  is 
this  for  ?  Hold,  don't  tell  me,  I  know  it  already, 
you  pull  .  .  . 

Tania.  Lisaveta  Leonidovna,  sweet,  dear 
lady,  I  want  to  be  quite  frank  with  you.  Until 
now  I  have  only  been  doing  it  for  fun,  but 
to-day  I  have  an  important  matter  in  mind. 


122  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Betsy.     How?  What?   An  important  matter? 

Tania.  You  know,  of  course,  peasants  have 
come  who  want  to  buy  land,  and  your  papa 
don't  want  to  sell  to  them,  and  has  not  signed 
the  document  and  has  returned  it  to  them, 
Fedor  Ivanitch  says  :  the  spirits  forbade  him. 
So  the  thought  came  to  me. 

Betsy.  But  you  are  a  sly  thing  !  Only  go 
ahead,  go  ahead.  But  how  are  you  going  to 
do  it? 

Tania.  I  have  planned  it  so  :  when  they  put 
out  the  light,  at  once  I  begin  to  rap,  to  throw 
things,  to  work  about  their  heads  with  the 
thread,  and  at  the  close  the  document  comes 
down  from  above, — ^I  have  it  with  me, —  and  I 
let  it  fall  on  the  table. 

Betsy.     And  what's  to  happen  then  ? 

Tania.  What's  to  happen  then  ?  All  will  be 
astonished  ;  for  did  not  the  peasants  have  the 
document,  and  suddenly  it  is  here.  Now  I 
command  .  .  . 

Betsy.     But  Semion  is  the  medium  to-day  ! 

Tania.  I  command  him  then  .  .  .  {She  can- 
not speak  for  laui^hing.)  I  command  him  then 
to  choke  whoever  happens  to  be  in  his  reach. 
Only  not  your  papa — he  will  not  dare  do  that 
—  the  rest  he  may  choke  until  it  is  signed. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  123 

Betsy  {laughs).  But  that  is  not  the  way  it  is 
done;  the  medium  himself  does  nothing. 

Taitia.  That's  all  the  same ;  perhaps  it  will 
succeed  so,  too. 

Scene  IX. 

Tania  and  Fedor  Ivanitch.     Betsy  makes  a  sign  to 
Tania,  and  goes  away. 

Fedor  Fdanitch.    What  are  you  doing  here  .' 
Tania.     I    have   come    to    you,    dear   Fedor 

Ivanitch. 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.     What  do  you  want  .'' 

Tania.      I    have   come   on    account   of   that 

affair  of  mine  about  which  I  asked  you. 

Fedor  Fvanitch.     Your  suit  is  accepted,  they 

gave  their  consent.     Only  it  has  not  yet  been 

wet. 

Tania  {squeals).     Is  that  really  true } 

Fedor  Fdanitch.     If  I  tell  you  so.     He  says  : 

I  will  consult  with  my  old  woman,  and  then  as 

God  wills. 

Tania.      Did    he    say   that .''      {She   squeals.) 

Ah,  dearest,  best  Fedor  Ivanitch,  my  whole  life 

long  will  I  pray  for  you. 

Fedor  FvanitcJi.     Tut,  tut,  tut !     There's    no 

time  for  that  now.     I  must  ^et  things  in  order 

for  the  stance. 


124      '  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Tania.  I  will  help  you.  What  is  to  be  got 
in  order  ? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  What  ?  —  Here,  the  table  — 
into  the  middle  of  the  room,  chairs,  the  guitar, 
the  harmonica.  The  lamp  is  not  needed  — 
candles. 

Tania  {assisting  Fedor  Ivanitch).  So  then. 
Here  the  guitar,  and  the  inkstand  here.  {Puts 
it  do7mt.)     So.? 

Fedor  Fuanitch.  But  do  they  really  want  to 
have  Semion  here } 

Tania.  I  suppose  it  must  be  so.  For  they 
have  had  him  here  before. 

Fedor Foanitch.  Amazing!  {He  puts  on  his 
eyeglasses.)     But  is  he  clean  .-' 

Tania.     How  am  I  to  know  that } 

Fedor  Foanitch.     Do  you  know  ... 

Tania.     What,  Fedor  Ivanitch  ? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Go  get  the  nail  brush  and 
some  toilet^  soap ;  you  may  get  it  from  my  room 
—  cut  off  his  claws  and  wash  him  very  nicely. 

Tania.     He  will  wash  himself. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Tell  him  at  least,  and  ask 
him  also  to  put  on  clean  linen. 

Tania.     Very  well,  Fedor  Ivanitch.     {Exit.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  125 

Scene  X. 

Fedor  Ivaxitch  alone,  takes  a  chair. 

Fcdor  Ivanitch.  Cultured,  they  are  very  cult- 
ured, Alexei  Vladimirovitch,  for  instance.  He 
i»a  professor,  yet  I  must  constantly  doubt  him. 
The  superstition  among  the  people,  vulgar 
superstition,  is  combated,  the  belief  in  hob- 
goblins, magicians,  witches  .  .  .  And  yet,  if 
one  searches  more  closely,  it  is  the  same  su- 
perstition. For  can  it  be  possible  that  the 
souls  of  the  deceased  should  talk,  play  on  the 
guitar?  Either  they  deceive  one  another  or 
they  deceive  themselves.  The  story  about 
Semion  also  is  hard  for  me  to  swallow.  (He  looks 
at  the  album)  And  here  is  their  Spiritualistic 
album,  too.  Is  it  possible,  I  ask,  to  photograph 
a  spirit.?  What  a  picture! — a  Turk  and  Leo- 
nid Fedorovitch  together.  Strange  weakness 
of  man  ! 

^  ■   Scene  XI. 

Fedor  Ivaxitch  and  Leonid  Fedorovitch. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {entering).     Well,  ready  ? 
Fedor  Foanitch  {rising sloivly).    Ready.    {Smil- 
ing.)    I  only  don't  know  whether  your  new  me- 


126  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

dium  won't  compromise  you,  Leonid  Fedoro- 
vitch. 

Leonid  Fedorovitck.  O  no,  Alexei  Vladimi- 
rovitch  and  myself  have  already  experimented 
with  him.  An  extraordinarily  powerful  me- 
dium ! 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  I  don't  understand  that,  of 
course.  But  is  he  clean }  You  have  surely 
not  thought  of  asking  him  to  wash  his  hands, 
and  that  surely  won't  do. 

Leonid  Fedorovitck.  His  hands  ?  Ah,  yes. 
Do  you  think  they  are  not  clean,  Fedor  Ivan- 
itch  } 

Fedor  LvanitcJi.  Of  course,  a  peasant.  And 
there  will  be  ladies  here,  also  Maria  Vassilievna. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     Very  well. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  I  wanted  to  tell  you  be- 
sides :  Timofei,  the  coachman,  was  here,  and 
complained  that  on  account  of  the  dogs  he  sim- 
ply didn't  know  how  to  steer  clear  of  all  the 
filth. 

Leonid  Fedorovitck  {placing  ike  tilings  on  tke 
table  in  order,  absent-minded).     What  dogs  .'' 

Fedor  IvanitcJi.  Three  greyhounds  were  sent 
to-day  to  Vassili  Leoniditch  ;  these  have  been 
taken  to  the  coachmen's  room. 

Leofiid    Fedorovitck    {vexed).        Tell     Anna 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  127 

Pavlovna ;  whatever  she  may  order  done  ;  I 
have  no  time. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  But  you  know  her  pas- 
sion ,  .  . 

Leonid  Fedo7'ovitch.  Let  her  do  what  she 
pleases.  The  boy  gives  me  no  end  of  annoy- 
ance .  .  .  and  I  have  no  time. 

Scene  XII. 

The  Satne  and  Semion  {in  a  sleevetess  jacket,  enters  and 
smites). 

Semion.     It  is  your  lordship's  will  ^ 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes,  yes.  Show  your 
hands.  Well,  very  well.  Now  do  as  before, 
my  son  ;  sit  down  and  abandon  yourself  to  your 
feelings.     And  think  of  nothing  whatever. 

Sdmion.  What  should  I  think }  The  more 
one  thinks,  the  worse. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Exactly,  exactly.  The 
weaker  consciousness,  the  greater  the  force. 
Do  not  think,  and  abandon  yourself  to  your 
mood.  Do  you  feel  like  sleeping  —  sleep  ;  do 
you  feel  like  walking  —  walk;  do  you  under- 
stand } 

Semion.  What  is  there  to  understand  here  ? 
That  doesn't  take  much  shrewdness. 


128  TJic  Fruits  of  Ciillnre 

■ 
Leonid  FcdorovitcJi.     The  main  point  is  — -clo 

not  get  confused.     You  might  yourself  be  easily 

astonished.     You  must  know   just  as  we  live, 

so  there  lives  close  to  us  a  never-seen  world  of 

spirits. 

Fedor  Fi'anitcJi  {improving).  Invisible  beings, 
do  you  understand  ? 

Semion  (laughs).  What  is  there  to  under- 
stand here  .-'  As  you  say  that,  the  thing  is  very 
simple. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  You  might  rise  into  the 
air  or  something  else,  only  do  not  be  afraid. 

Semion.  Why  should  I  be  afraid  .-*  That 
won't  hurt. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Very  well  then,  I  shall 
go  and  call  the  company.     Is  everything  ready .'' 

Fedor  h'anitch.     I  think  everything  is  ready. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     And  the  slates  .'' 

Fedor  Lvanitch.  Are  downstairs,  I  shall  get 
them  at  once.     {Exit.) 

Scene   XIII. 
Leonid  Fedorovitch  and  Semion. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Well,  that's  right.  Do 
not  get  confused,  and  move  freely. 

Semion.  Take  off  the  jacket,  perhaps.  Then 
I  can  move  more  freely. 


The  Fruits  of  Cultitre  129 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  The  jacket?  No,  no, 
that  is  not  necessary.     {Exit.) 

Scene  XIV. 

Semion  alone. 

Semion.  Again  she  bids  me  do  all  that,  and 
she  will  again  throw  her  things.  Indeed,  she 
isn't  afraid ! 

Scene  XV. 

Semion  and  Tania  (enters,  in  her  stockings,  her  dress 
of  the  color  of  the  wall  paper.     Semion  laughs). 

Tania  {hisses).  'Sh !  'sh  !  .  .  .  They  might 
hear!  Paste  these  matches  on  your  fingers  as 
before  {he  fastens  them).  Now,  do  you  still 
know  all  ? 

Semion  {bends  the  fingers  in).  The  very  first, 
wet  the  matches.  Flourish  them  in  the  air  — 
one.  Two  —  chatter  with  the  teeth,  so  .  .  . 
Number  three  I  have  forgotten. 

Tania.  And  three  is  the  most  important 
point.  Do  not  forget :  when  the  paper  falls  on 
the  table  —  I  will  besides  ring  the  bell  —  in- 
stantly you  do  so  with  your  arms — wider 
apart,  and  seize.  You  seize  any  one  who  sits 
near.     And   when   you   have    seized  one,   you 


130  The  Fniits  of  Culture 

squeeze  {laughs),  whether  lady  or  gentleman. 
You  have  only  one  thing  to  do  —  to  squeeze 
and  to  squeeze  and  not  to  let  go,  as  if  you 
were  in  sleep,  and  gnash  your  teeth  or  bellow, 
look,  so  .  .  .  {she  bellows).  And  when  I  play 
on  the  guitar,  then  you  act  as  if  you  were  about 
to  wake  up,  stretch  yourself,  you  know,  so. 
Then  you  awake.  .  .  .   Do  you  know  all .-' 

Semion.  I  know  all  ;  but  it  is  awfully  laugh- 
able. 

Tania.  But  you  must  not  laugh.  Should 
you  laugh  once,  however,  that  will  not  dish  the 
matter.  They  will  think  it  was  in  sleep.  But 
remember  only  not  to  sleep  in  reality  when 
they  put  out  the  light. 

Semion.     Don't  fear,  I'll  pinch  my  ears. 

Ta7iia.  Now  be  wide  awake,  Semotchka,  my 
sweetheart.  Only  do  everything,  and  be  not 
afraid.  He  must  sign,  you  will  see.  They  are 
coming.     {She  creeps  tinder  the  sofa.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  131 

Scene  XVI. 

Semion  and  Tania.  There  enter:  Grossmann,  the 
Professor,  Leoxid  Fedorovitch,  the  Fat  Lady, 
the  Physician,  Sachatoff,  and  Her  Ladyship. 
Semion  is  standing  by  the  door. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  All  unbelievers  are  sol- 
emnly invited  !  Although  our  medium  is  new, 
and  here  only  by  accident,  nonetheless  I  look 
for  very  remarkable  manifestations  to-day. 

Sachatoff.     Interesting,  most  interesting. 

Fat  Lady  {pointing  to  Semion).  Mais  il  est 
tres-bien. 

Her  Ladyship.  Great  heavens,  a  kitchen 
boy,  yes,  but  .  .  . 

Sachatoff.  Women  never  believe  ii>  what 
their  husbands  do.  They  do  not  even  recog- 
nize it ! 

Her  LadysJiip.  Of  course  not.  In  Kapt- 
chitch,  I  admit,  there  is  something  special ;  but 
God  knows  what  this  is  ! 

Fat  Lady.  No,  no,  pardon  me,  Anna  Pav- 
lovna,  that  is  not  to  be  solved  so  simply. 
When  I  was  still  a  girl,  I  had  a  remarkable 
dream.  You  know  there  are  dreams  of  which 
one  does  not  know  when  they  begin,  when  they 
end,  and  such  a  dream  I  had  .  .  . 


132  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  XVII. 

The  Same.     Vassili    Leoniuitch   and  Petristcheff 
enter. 

Fat  Lady.  And  through  this  dream  much 
was  revealed  unto  me.  Now-a-days  these  young 
people  {she  points  to  Petristcheff  and  Vassili 
Lconiditch)  deny  just  everything. 

Vassili  Lconiditch.  By  no  means,  I  assure 
you  I  deny  nothing.     Eh  .-' 

Scene  XVIII. 

77ie  Same.    Binsv  and  Maria  Konstantixovxa  enter, 
and  begiti  a  conversation  with  Petristcheff. 

Fat^Lady.  How  can  we  deny  the  supernatu- 
ral .■*  They  say  it  is  incompatible  with  human 
reason.  But  reason  may  be  dull,  how  is  it 
then }  Did  we  not  have  spirit  manifestations 
every  evening  on  Garden  Street  '^.  You  have 
surely  heard  about  it .?  The  son  of  my  aunt  — . 
what  do  we  say  now  for  cousin  .?  .  .  .  I  always 
forget  these  new  expressions  —  he  went  there 
three  nights  in  succession,  and  did  not  see  any- 
thing anyway,  therefore  I  say  ... 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Who  of  the  company 
will  remain  here  .? 

Fat  Lady.     I,  I !  ' 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  133 

Sachatoff.     I ! 

Her  LadysJiip  {to  the  physician).  Will  you 
really  remain  here  ? 

Physician.  Yes,  one  must  at  least  for  once 
see  what  it  is  that  Alexei  Vladimirovitch  finds 
in  the  matter.  To  deny  without  disproof  won't 
do  either. 

Her  Ladyship.  The  treatment  is  then  by  all 
means  to  be  resumed  this  evening  ? 

Physician.  What  is  to  be  resumed  ?  Ah, 
yes,  resume  taking  the  powders.  Yes,  just 
take  them.  Yes,  yes,  just  take  them.  I  will 
also  come. 

Her  Ladyship.  Please.  {Loud)  When  you 
are  through,  messieurs  et  mesdamcs,  I  invite 
you  to  my  room  in  order  to  recover  yourselves 
from  the  emotion  ;  we  can  also  finish  our  game. 

Fat  Lady.     Certainly. 

Sachatoff.     Yes,  yes  ! 

{Exit  Her  Ladyship.) 

Scene  XIX. 

The  Same  except  Her  Ladyship. 

Betsy  {to  Petristcheff).  I  tell  you,  stay!  I 
promise  you  something  extraordinary.  Will 
you  wager  with  me .? 


134  T^hc  Fruits  of  Cttlturc 

Maria  Koustantinoviia.  Do  you  believe  in  it 
then  ? 

Betsy.     To-day  I  believe. 

Maria  Koiistantinovna  {to  Petristcheff).  And 
do  you  believe  ? 

PetristcJieff.  Never,  never  will  I  trust  in 
alluring  promises.  Very  well,  if  Elisaveta 
Leonidovna  commands. 

Vassili  Lconiditch.  Let  us  stay,  Maria  Kon- 
stantinovna.  Eh }  I  want  to  get  off  some- 
thing, cpatant. 

Maria  Koiistantinovna.  Look  out,  you  must 
not  make  me  laugh.  You  know  very  well  I 
cannot  suppress  it, 

Vassili  Leonidiich  {loud).     I  —  stay  ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {severe).  I  request  the 
ladies  and  gentlemen  who  stay  here  not  to  turn 
this  matter  into  ridicule.  It  is  of  a  very  seri- 
ous nature. 

Petristcheff.  Do  you  hear }  Well  then,  we 
will  stay.  Wowo,  sit  here,  but  look  out  you 
don't  get  frightened. 

Betsy.  Yes,  you  laugh,  and  you  will  see 
what  will  happen. 

Vassili  Leoniditck.  And  if  it  does  really 
happen  !     It  might  become  serious  !     Eh  .? 

Petristcheff  {trembles).     Oo,   oo,  how  fright- 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  135 

ened  I  am.     Maria  Konstantinovna,  I  am  afraid. 
.  .  .  My  teet  fremble  ! 

Betsy  {laughs).     Be  quiet ! 
{All  sit  (f own.) 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  Sit  down,  sit  down, 
gentlemen.     Sit  down,  Semion  ! 

Sejnioji.  At  your  service  !  {Sits  dotvii  on 
the  edge  of  the  chair!) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Sit  properly. 

Professor.  Sit  exactly  in  the  middle  of  the 
chair,  entirely  unconstrained.  {He  seats  Semion 
properly^ 

(Betsy,  Maria  Konstantinovna,  and  Vassili  Leoni- 
DiTCH  laugh:) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {with  raised  voice).  I  re- 
quest the  ladies  and  gentlemen  who  remain 
here  not  to  jest,  and  to  take  the  matter  se- 
riously. It  might  have  unfortunate  conse- 
quences. Wowo,  do  you  hear  ?  If  you  cannot 
sit  still,  go  away  ! 

Vassili  LeoniditcJi.  Peace  !  {He  hides  behind 
the  back  of  the  Fat  Lady.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Alexei  Vladimirovitch, 
put  him  to  sleep. 

Professor.  No,  why  should  I,  when  Anton 
Barissovitch  is  present }     He  is  vastly  more  ex- 


136  The  Ffiiits  of  Culture 

perienced  in  this  matter  and  possesses  a  greater 
force.     Anton  Barissovitch  ! 

Grossmann.  Ladies  and  gentlemen  !  I  am 
not  really  a  Spiritualist.  I  have  only  studied 
Hypnotism.  To  be  sure,  I  have  studied  Hyp- 
notism in  all  its  known  forms.  But  I  am  en- 
tirely ignorant  of  what  is  described  as  Spiritual- 
ism. From  the  falling  asleep  of  the  subject,  I 
may  expect  the  hypnotic  phenomena  known  to 
me :  lethargy,  abulie,  anaesthesie,  analgie,  cata- 
lepsy, and  suggestions  of  the  most  varied  kind. 
But  it  is  not  these  phenomena  that  are  pre- 
sented to  our  study  here,  but  others,  and  there- 
fore it  would  be  desirable  to  know  in  advance 
the  nature  of  the  anticipated  phenomena,  and 
what  scientific  importance  they  claim. 

Sacliatoff.  I  fully  agree  with  the  views  ex- 
pressed by  Mr.  Grossmann.  Such  an  explana- 
tion would  be  very,  very  interesting. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {to  the  Professor).  I  trust, 
Alexei  Vladimirovitch,  you  will  gladly  give  us 
a  short  explanation. 

Professor.  Cheerfully ;  if  it  is  desired,  I  am 
willing  to  give  the  explanation.  {To  the  phy- 
sician) And  you  will  have  the  goodness  to 
take  the  temperature  and  the  pulse.  My  ex- 
planation will  be  necessarily  cursory  and  brief. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  137 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Yes,  brief,  brief  .  .  . 

Physician.  Directly  !  {He  takes  out  the  ther- 
mometer and  hands  it  over.)  Well,  noble 
youth  !  .  .  ,  {Puts  ther^nometer  in  his  mouth?) 

Semion.     At  your  service  ! 

Pi'ofessor  {rises,  turns  tozaards  the  Fat  Lady, 
and  then  sits  down).  Ladies  and  gentlemen ! 
The  phenomenon  that  we  are  to  study  is 
usually  represented  by  the  one  party  as  some- 
thing new,  by  the  other  as  something  tran- 
scending natural  relations.  Neither  the  one 
nor  the  other  is  justified.  This  phenomenon 
is  not  new,  but  as  old  as  the  world ;  nor  is  it 
supernatural,  it  is  on  the  contrary  subject  to 
the  same  eternal  laws  which  all  created  things 
obey.  This  phenomenon  is  usually  defined  a^ 
the  communion  with  the  spirit  world.  This 
definition  is  not  exact.  According  to  this  defi- 
nition the  spirit  world  is  opposed  to  the  world 
of  phenomena,  but  without  any  justification. 
There  is  no  such  antithesis.  There  is  such  a 
close  contact  between  the  two  worlds  that  it  is 
quite  impossible  to  draw  the  boundary  line  that 
separates  the  one  from  the  other.  We  say : 
matter  is  composed  of  molecules  .  .  , 

Petristcheff.     Tiresome  matter  ! 
( Whispering,  laughing^) 


138  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Professor  {stops,  then  contijutes).  The  mole- 
cules—  of  atoms,  but  the  atoms  have  no  exten- 
sion and  are  essentially  nothing  else  than  cen- 
tres of  force.  That  is,  to  express  it  more  pre- 
cisely, not  force,  but  energy  —  the  energy 
which  is  something  just  as  specific  and  inde- 
structible as  matter.  But  as  there  is  only  one 
matter,  however  varied  its  forms,  so  also  with 
energy.  Until  very  recently  we  knew  of  but 
four  forms  of  energy,  each  of  which  was  con- 
vertible into  the  other.  We  knew  of  dynami- 
cal, thermal,  electrical,  and  chemical  energy. 
But  the  four  forms  of  energy  do  not  by  any 
means  comprise  the  entire  multiplicity  of  its 
manifestations.  The  manifestations  of  energy 
are  multiform,  and  it  is  one  of  these  new  but 
little  known  forms  of  energy  which  we  are  to 
study.     I  refer  to  the  energy  of  mediumiam. 

{Again  whispering  and  laughing  from  the  corner  where 
the  young  people  are  sitting.) 

Professor  {stops,  looks  around  severely,  and 
eontinues).  Reports  of  mediumistic  energy 
come  down  to  mankind  from  ancient  times. 
Prophecies,  forebodings,  visions,  and  many 
other  phenomena  are  —  nothing  but  manifesta- 
tions of  mediumistic  energy.     The  phenomena 


TIic  Fruits  of  Culture  139 

it  produces  are  known  from  antiquity.  But  the 
energy  itself  was  not  recognized  as  such  until 
recent  times,  so  long  as  the  'sphere  was  not 
recognized  whose  undulations  cause  the  medi- 
umistic  phenomena.  As  the  phenomena  of 
light  were  inexplicable  so  long  as  the  presence 
of  an  imponderable  substance,  ether,  was  not 
recognized,  so  also  the  mediumistic  phenomena 
remained  a  mystery  to  us  before  the  now  indis- 
putable truth  was  established  that  there  is  a 
still  finer  imponderable  substance  between  the 
particles  of  the  ether  which  is  not  subject  to 
the  law  of  the  three  dimensions.  .  .  . 

{Again  whispering,  laughing,  and  squeaking!) 

Professor  {again  looks  aroiuid  severely).  And 
as  the  mathematical  calculations  have  indis- 
putably demonstrated  the  existence  of  an  im- 
ponderable ether  which  produces  the  phenom- 
ena of  light  and  electricity,  just  so  a  brilliant 
series  of  the  most  reliable  experiments  by 
the  gifted  Herrmann,  Schmidt,  and  Joseph 
Schmatzhofen  have  unquestionably  demon- 
strated the  reality  of  a  substance  which  fills 
the  universe  and  may  be  described  as  the  spir- 
itual ether. 

Fat  Lady,  Yes,  now  it  is  clear  to  me.  How 
grateful  ... 


140  TJie  Fmits  of  Cult  tire 

Leonid  Fcdorovitch.  Yes  ;  but  is  it  not  pos- 
sible, Alexei  Vladimirovitch,  to  express  your- 
self ...  a  little  more  briefly  ? 

Professor  {ivithotii  replying).  Thus  the  laws 
of  the  mediumistic  phenomena  have  been  set 
forth  by  a  series  of  strictly  scientific  experi- 
ments and  investigations/  as  I  have  had  the 
honor  to  explain  to  you.  These  experiments 
have  taught  us  that  the  entrance  of  certain  per- 
sons into  the  hypnotic  condition,  which  differs 
from  common  sleep  only  in  this,  that  in  the 
entrance  into  this  sleep  physiological  action  is 
not  only  not  lowered,  but  increased,  as  we  have 
seen  above  —  it  was  established,  I  say,  that  the 
entrance  of  any  subject  into  this  condition  nec- 
essarily produces  certain  disturbances  in  the 
spiritual  ether, —  disturbances  which  perfectly 
resemble  those  produced  by  the  immersion  of  a 
hard  substance  in  a  fluid.  Now  these  disturb- 
ances are  what  we  call  mediumistic  phenom- 
ena. .  .  . 

{Laughing^  whispering) 

Sachatoff.  That  is  perfectly  correct  and 
plain.  But  allow  me  one  question :  if,  as  you 
are  pleased  to  say,  the  going  to  sleep  of  the 
medium  produces  disturbances  of  the  spiritual 
ether,  why  is  it  that  these  disturbances,  as  is 


TJie  Fruits  of  Cttlturc  14I 

usually  assumed  at  Spiritualistic  seances,  always 
take  the  shape  of  manifestations  of  deceased 
persons  ? 

Professor.  That  is  because  the  particles  of 
this  spiritual  ether  are  nothing  but  the  souls  of 
the  living,  the  dead,  and  the  unborn,  so  that 
every  agitation  of  this  spiritual  ether  necessarily 
produces  the  familiar  movement  of  its  particles. 
But  these  particles  are  nothing  else  than  the 
souls  of  men,  which  enter  into  communion  with 
one  another  in  consequence  of  'this  movement. 

Fat  Lady  {to  Sachatoff).  What  is  the  diffi- 
culty in  comprehending  this  ?  It  is  very  sim- 
ple ...   I  thank  you,  I  thank  you  very  much! 

Leojiid  Fedorovitch.  Now,  I  think,  everything 
is  plain,  and  we  can  begin. 

Physician.  The  young  fellow  is  in  a  perfectly 
normal  state.     Temperature  99,  pulse  74. 

Professor  {takes  out  his  note  book  and  writes). 
In  confirmation  of  what  I  have  just  had  the 
honor  to  explain  I  may  cite  the'  circumstance 
that  the  falling  asleep  of  the  medium  will  un- 
doubtedly be  accompanied  by  a  rise  of  the 
temperature  and  of  the  pulse,  just  as  in  cases  of 
hypnotism. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes,  yes,  pardon  me, 
please,  I  was  only  going  to  answer  the  question 


142  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

of  Sergei  Ivanovitch  :  how  we  know  that  the 
souls  of  the  deceased  enter  into  communica- 
tion with  us.  We  know  it  by  the  fact  that  the 
spirit  which  appears  tells  us  forthwith  —  quite 
simply  as  I  now  tell  this  —  tells  us  forthwith  who 
he  is,  and  why  he  has  come,  and  where  he  is 
staying,  and  whether  all  is  well  with  him.  At 
our  last  stance  the  Spaniard  Don  Castilios  ap- 
peared and  told  us  everything.  He  told  us  who 
he  was,  when  he  died,  that  he  was  suffering 
tortures  because  he  had  taken  part  in  the  Inqui- 
sition. Still  more,  he  told  us  what  was  happen- 
ing to  him  at  the  very  hour  when  he  was  speak- 
ing to  us,  and,  strange  to  say,  he  was  to  be  born 
again  for  the  earth  at  the  very  hour  when  he 
was  speaking  with  us,  and  therefore  was  obliged 
to  cut  short  the  conversation  begun  with  us. 
But  you  shall  really  see  with  your  own  eyes  .  .  . 

Fat  Lady  {i7iterrupting).  Ah,  how  interest- 
ing! Perhaps  the  Spaniard  was  born  in  our 
house  and  is  now  a  child. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     Quite  possible  ! 

Professor.     I  think  it  is  time  to  begin. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  I  was  only  going  to 
say  .  .  . 

Professor.     It  is  already  late.* 

Leonid  Fedorovitc/i.     Very  well,   then.     Let 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  143 

us  begin.  Anton  Barissovitch,  will  you  have 
the  goodness  to  put  the  medium  to  sleep  ? 

Grossmaun.  How  do  you  want  me  to  put 
the  subject  to  sleep  ?  There  are  four  different 
ways  in  use,  Braid's  method,  the  Egyptian 
symbol,  the  method  of  Charcot. 

Leonid  Fcdorovitck  {to  the  Professor).  That 
is  quite  immaterial,  I  think. 

Professor.     There  is  no  difference. 

Grossmaun.  Then  I  will  apply  my  method 
which  I  demonstrated  at  Odessa. 

Leonid  Fcdorovitck.     If  you  please  ! 

(Grossmann   makes  passes  over  Semion's  head. —  Se- 
MION  closes  his  eyes  and  stretches  himself.) 

Grossnianti  {observing).  He  is  falling  asleep, 
he  is  asleep.  A  strikingly  sudden  appearance 
of  hypnosis.  The  subject  clearly  is  already 
in  the  anaesthetic  condition.  A  remarkable, 
an  extraordinarily  impressionable  subject ;  one 
might  make  interesting  experiments  with  him ! 
.  .  .  (  He  sits  dozun,  rises,  and  sits  down  again.) 
Now  one  might  pierce  his  hand.    If  you  wish  . . . 

Professor  {to  Leonid  Fedorovitch).  Do  you 
notice  how  the  sleep  of  the  medium  is  affecting 
Grossmann .-'     He  is  beginning  to  vibrate  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes,  yes.  Can  we  put 
out  the  lii^ht  now  .-* 


144  T^fic  Fruits  of  Culture 

■  Sachatoff.     But  what  is  the  use  of  darkness? 

Professor.  Darkness  ?  Darkness  is  one  of 
the  conditions  under  which  the  mediumistic 
energy  manifests  itself,  just  as  a  definite  tem- 
perature is  the  condition  of  certain  manifesta- 
tions of  chemical  or  dynamical  energy. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Not  always.  To  many, 
among  them  myself  also,  they  have  appeared  in 
light,  in  broad  daylight  even. 

Professor  {iuierrupting).  Is  the  light  to  be 
put  out  ? 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes,  yes.  {Puts  out  the 
lights.)  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  I  now  bespeak 
your  attention. 

(Tania  creeps  from  under  the  sofa  and  reaches  out  for 
the  thread  which  she  has  fastened  to  the  candtestick) 

Petristcheff.  Well,  how  I  was  amused  by  the 
Spaniard  !  How  in  the  middle  of  the  conversa- 
tion— piquer  une  tete,  as  they  say  —  he  .  .  . 

Betsy.     Just  wait  and  see  what  will  happen. 

Petristcheff^.  I  fear  only  one  thing  —  that 
Wowo  might  break  out. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.     Shall  I  ?     I'll  fire  off  .  .  . 

Leo7iid  Fedorovitch.  v  Gentlemen,  please  not 
to  talk  ! 

[Quiet. —  Semion  ticks  a  finger  ^passes  it  over  his  knuckles^ 
and  saws  the  air.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  145 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  It  flashes  !  Do  you  see 
how  it  flashes  ! 

Sachatoff.  It  flashes  !  Yes,  yes,  I  see  ;  but 
permit  me  .  .  . 

Fat  Lady.  Where  ?  where  ?  Ah,  I  did  not 
see  it !     There  it  is  !     Ah  !  .  .  . 

Professor  {whispers  something  to  Leonid  Fe- 
dorovitch and  points  to  Grossniann,  who  is  mov- 
ing to  and  fro).     Observe  how  he  is  vibrating. 

A  double  force ! 

{Again  flashing^ 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {to  the  Professor).  That 
is  he  ! 

Sachatoff.     Who  ? 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  The  Greek,  Nicolas. 
That  is  his  flashing.  Is  it  not,  Alexei  Vladi- 
mirovitch  "i 

Sachatoff.     The  Greekj  Nicolas,  who  is  he .'' 

Professor.  A  Greek  who  was  a  monk  at 
Byzantium  in  the  time  of  Constantine,  and  who 
has  often  visited  us  of  late. 

Fat  Lady.  But  where  is  he,  where  is  he .?  I 
see  nothing. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  He  is  not  to  be  seen 
either.  Alexei  Vladimirovitch,  he  is  always 
particularly  friendly  towards  you.  Question 
him  ! 


146  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Professor  {in  a  peculiar  voice).  Nicolas  !  Is 
that  you  ? 

(Tania  raps  twice  against  the  wall.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {exultant).  It  is  he  !  It 
is  he  ! 

Fat  Lady.     Hu,  hu  !     I'll  go  away  ! 

Sachatoff.  But  why  is  it  supposed  that  it 
is  he  ? 

Leonid  Fedoroviteh.  It  rapped  twice.  That 
is  an  affirmative  answer;  otherwise  he  would 
have  kept  silent. 

{Pause.  Suppressed  laughter  in  the  young  folks'  corner. 
Tania  drops  on  the  table  a  lamp-shade,  a  lead- 
pencil,  and  a  ptn-wiper.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {whispering).  Attention, 
gentlemen!  A  lamp-shade!  Something  else. 
A  lead-pencil !  Alexei  Vladimirovitch,  a  lead- 
pencil  ! 

Professor.  Indeed,  indeed !  \  am  watching 
both  him  and  Grossmann.     Did  you  notice  1 

(Grossman N  rises  and  looks  at  the  things  that  fell  on 
the  table.) 

Sachatoff.  Pardon  me,  pardon  me.  I  should 
like  to  convince  myself  if  all  this  is  not  done  by 
the  medium  himself. 


The  Fniits  of  Culture  147 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Do  you  doubt  ?  Sit 
down  beside  him  then,  and  hold  him  fast  by  the 
hands.     But  you  may  be  sure  he  is  asleep. 

Sachatojf  {ivants  to  go;  the  thread  zv/iich 
Taiiia  lets  down  touches  his  head ;  he  collapses 
terrified).     Y-ye-yes !     Strange !     Strange ! 

{He  goes  farther,  grasps  Semiox  by  the  elbow.     Semion 
bellows.) 

Professor  {to  Leonid  Fedorovitch).  Do  you 
hear  how  Grossmann's  proximity  is  affecting 
him  ?  A  new  phenomenon,  that  must  be  noted. 
{He  runs  otit  and  makes  a  note,  then  he  retw'jis.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Yes  .  .  .  but  we  must 
not  leave  Nicolas  without  response;  we  must 
begin  ... 

Grossinann  ibises,  approaches  Semion,  lifts  his 
hand,  and  lets  it  fall  again).  Now  it  would  be 
interesting  to  produce  a  contracture.  The  sub- 
ject is  in  a  state' of  complete  hypnosis. 

Professor  {to  Leonid  Fedorovitch).  You  see  1 
You  see  ? 

Grossmann.     If  you  wish  .  .  . 

Physician.  Please,  dear  friend,  do  not  inter- 
fere with  Alexei  Vladimirovitch  .  .  .  the  thing 
is  now  getting  serious. 


148  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Professor.  Let  him.  He  is  already  talking 
in  his  sleep. 

Fat  Lady.  How  glad  I  am  that  I  decided  to 
stay  here !  I  am  frightened,  but  nevertheless 
I  am  glad ;  for  I  have  always  told  my  hus- 
band, «  .  . 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.     I  must  request  peace. 

(Tania  draws  the  thread  over  the  head  of  the   Fat 
Lady.) 

Fat  Lady.     Oo ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  What  is  it  .■'  What  is 
it .? 

Fat  Lady.     He  took  hold  of  my  hair. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {lOhispering).  Do  not 
fear,  give  him  your  hand.  His  hand  is  always 
cold  ;  but  I  like  that. 

Fat  Lady  {hides  Jier  hands)  Not  for  anything 
in  the  world ! 

Sachatoff.     Yes,  strange,  strange! 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  He  is  here,  and  desires 
to  enter  into  communication  with  us.  Who 
would  like  to  ask  him  a  question  ? 

Sachatoff.     Permit  me  to  ask. 

Professor.     Have  the  goodness. 

Sachatoff.  Do  I  believe,  or  do  I  not  believe  ? 
(Tania  raps  twice.) 


Tlie  Fruits  of  Culture  149 

Professor.     An  affirmative  answer. 
Sachatoff.     Permit    me    to    continue.     Have 
I  a  ten-rouble  note  in  my  pocket } 

(Tania  raps  many   limes  and  draws  the  tJiread  over 
.Sachatoff's  head:) 

Sachatoff.  Ah  !  .  .  .  (^He  sei::es  the  thread 
and  breaks  it. ) 

Professor.  I  should  like  to  request  those 
present  not  to  put  indefinite  or  jesting  ques- 
tions.    It  is  disagreeable  to  him. 

Sachatoff.  No,  pardon  me,  I  have  a  thread 
in  my  hand. 

Leonid  FedorovitcJi.  A  thread  .-"  Hold-  it 
fast.  That  happens  frequently  ;  not  only  cotton 
thread,  but  also  silk  cords  of  ancient  times. 

Sachatoff.  Well,  but  where  does  this  thread 
come  from  .'' 

(Taxia  throws  a  pillow  at  him.) 

Sachatoff.  Pardon  me,  pardon  me,  some- 
thing soft  has  struck  me  on  the  head.  Let  us 
have  a   light  —  here  something   is  passing  .  .  . 

Professor.  We  must  request  you  not  to  dis- 
turb the  manifestations. 

Fat  Lady.  For  God's  sake,  do  not  make  any 
disturbance.  I  should  also  like  to  put  a  ques- 
tion ;  may  I  ? 


150  TJie  Fruits  of  Culture 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Certainly,  certainly ! 
Just  ask ! 

F^at  Lady.  I  should  like  to  consult  him  con- 
cerning my  stomach.  May  one  do  that  ?  I 
should  like  to  ask  what  I  am  to  take  :  aconite 
or  belladonna? 

{Pause.  Whispering  in  the  young  folks'  corner.  Sud- 
denly Vassili  Leoniditch  cries  like  an  infant :  ua, 
ua  I  Laughter.  The  young  ladies  and  Petristcheff 
cover  their  mouths  and  noses  and  run  away,  breath- 
ing hard. 

Fat  Lady.  Ah  !  surely  the  monk  has  been 
born  again  ? 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  (jn  a  rage,  whispering  in 
wj'ath).  You  think  of  nothing  but  your  non- 
sense.    If  you  cannot  behave  decently,  then  go 

away! 

{Exit  Vassili  Leoniditch.) 


Scene  XX. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch,  Professor,  the  Fat  Lady, 
Sachatoff,  Grossmann,  the  Physician,  Semion, 
and  Tania.    {Darkness.     Pause.) 

Fat  Lady.     Ah,  too  bad  !     Now  one  cannot 
put  any  more  questions.     He  is  born. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.      By   no   means.      That 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  151 

was  Wowo's  nonsense.  He  is  here.  Just 
ask. 

Professor.  That  happens  frequently;  jests 
and  mockeries  of  this  sort  are  quite  usual.  I 
presume  he  is  still  here.  Besides,  we  can  ask. 
Leonid  Fedorovitch,  will  you } 

Leoitid  Fedorovitch.  No,  please,  you.  I  am 
in  a  bad  humor.  What  an  annoyance  !  Such 
a  want  of  tact !  .  .  . 

Professor.  Very  well,  then.  Nicolas !  Are 
you  still  here  .-* 

(Tania  raps  twice  and  knocks  against  the  bell. —  Semion 
begins  to  bellow  and  saw  the  air  with  his  hands.  He 
seizes  Sachatoff  and  the  Professor,  and  chokes 
thejn.) 

Professor.  What  an  unexpected  manifesta- 
tion !  A  direct  action  upon  the  medium  him- 
self. That  is  unprecedented.  Leonid  Fedoro- 
vitch, will  you  take  the  observations ;  I  don't 
feel  well.  He  is  choking  me.  Keep  a  strict 
watch  on  Grossmann  !  Now's  the  time  to  keep 
a  bright  lookout. 

(Tania  throws  the  document  of  the  peasants  on  the 
table) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Something  has  fallen 
on  the  table. 


152  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Professor.     See  what  it  is. 
Leonid  Fedoro-oitch.     A  paper,  a  folded  sheet 
of  paper! 

(Tania  throws  a  traveller's  inlistand) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     An  inkstand  ! 
(Tania  throws  a  pen.) 

I^eonid  Fedorovitch.     A  pen  ! 

(Semion  keeps  on  bellowittg  and  choking.) 

Professor  {stra^igling) .  Pardon  me,  pardon 
me,  an  entirely  new  phenomenon,  it  is  not  the 
produced  mediumistic  energy,  but  the  medium 
himself  that  is  in  action.  Do  open  the  ink- 
stand and  place  the  pen  on  the  paper ;  he 
wishes  to  write,  he  surely  wishes  to  write. 

(Tania    steals  up  behind-  Leonid  Fedorovitch  and 
strikes  him  on  the  head  with  the  guitar.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  He  struck  me  on  the 
head  !  {He  looks  on  the  table.)  The  pen  does 
not  yet  write,  and  the  paper  is  still  folded  to- 
gether. 

Professor.  See  what  the  paper  contains. 
Quick,  quick.  Clearly  the  double  force  of  him 
and  Grossmann  is  causing  disturbances. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {takes  the  paper  out  of  the 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  153 

room  and  returns  presently).  Extraordinary ! 
This  paper  is  the  contract  with  the  peasants 
which  I  refused  to  sign  this  morning  and  gave 
back  to  the  peasants.  It  is  likely  he  wants  me 
to  sign  it. 

Professor.  Of  course !  Of  course !  Just 
ask  him. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Nicolas  !     Do  you  wish 

(Tania  raps  twice.) 

Professor.  Do  you  hear }  Evidently,  evi- 
dently ! 

(Leonid  Fedorovitch  takes  the  pen  and  leaves  the 
room. —  Tania  raps.,  plays  on  the  guitar  and  the 
harmonica,  and  creeps  back  under  the  sofa. —  Leo- 
nid Fedorovitch  returns  —  Semiox  stretches  him- 
self and  expectorates.) 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  He  is  waking  up.  We 
can  light  the  candles. 

Professor  {hastily).  Doctor,  doctor,  please, 
the  temperature  and  the  pulse.  You  will  pres- 
ently note  a  rise. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch  {lights  the  candles).  How 
now,  incredulous  ladies  and  gentlemen } 

Physician  {approaches  Semion  and  inserts  the 
thermojnetej).  Well,  noble  youth  !  Slept  well } 
Take  this  into  your  mouth,  and  give  me  your 
hand.     {Looks  at  his  watch.)' 


I  54  TJu-  Fruits  of  Culture 

Sachatoff  {draws  up  his  shoulders).  I  can 
show  that  the  medium  cannot  possibly  have 
done  'all  that  has  just  passed  here.  But  the 
thread  ? .  .  .  I  should  only  like  to  get  an  ex- 
planation of  this  thread. 

Leouid  Fedorovitch.  The  thread,  the  thread! 
But  there  have  been  much  more  important 
things. 

Sachatoff.  I  don't  know.  At  all  events,  je 
reserve  nion  opinio7i. 

Fat  Lady  {to  Sachatoff).  By  no  means,  how 
can  you  say  :  Je  reserve  viou  opiuion  ?  And  the 
boy  with  the  wings .''  Did  you  not  see  him  .'* 
First  I  thought  it  was  only  a  shimmer,  but  then 
it  became  clear,  clear,  as  if  in  the  flesh. 

Sachatoff.  I  can  only  say  what  I  saw.  That 
I  did  not  see,  no. 

Fat  Lady.  How  is  that  possible  .-•  It  was 
surely  quite  plainly  to  be  seen.  And  from  the 
left  the  monk  in  the  black  gown  bent  down  to 
him  .  .  . 

Sachatoff  {walks  away).  What  an  exaggera- 
tion ! 

Fat  Lady  {turning  to  the  physician).  You 
must  have   seen   him.     He  rose  by  your  side. 

{The  Physician  continues  counting  the  piitse  without 
listening  to  her.) 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  155 

Fat  Lady  {to  Grossmaun).  And  a  light,  a 
light  shone  forth  from  him,  especially  about  his 
face.  And  his  features  were  so  mild,  so  deli- 
cate, something  super-earthly  !  {S/ie  Jicrself 
smiles  softly.) 

Grossviauu.  I  saw  a  phosphorescent  light,  I 
saw  things  moving  about;  but  further  than 
that  I  did  not  see  anything. 

Fat  Lady  {to  Grossniami).  But  I  beg  of 
you  !  You  say  that  so.  That  comes  from  your 
not  believing  in  the  future  life,  like  all  the 
savants  of  Charcot's  school.  But  no  one,  no 
one  in  all  the  world  can  now  take  from  me  the 
belief  in  a  future  life. 

(GrossmAnn  ^(^^'j  away  from  her.) 

Fat  Lady.  No,  no,  say  what  you  will,  that 
was  one  of  the  happiest  hours  of  my  life. 
When  I  heard  Sarasate  and  this  .  .  .  Yes  !  {No 
one  listens  to  her.  She  goes  to  Semion.)  Well, 
you  tell  me,  my  son,  what  you  felt.  Did  it 
torture  you  badly } 

Semion  {laughs).     Certainly. 

Fat  I^ady.  But  nevertheless  it  was  endura- 
ble.? 

Semion.  Certainly.  {To  Leonid  Fedoro- 
vitck.)     Shall  I  go  now  ? 


156  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Go,  go. 

Physician  {to  the  Professor).  The  pulse  is  as 
before  ;  but  the  temperature  has  fallen. 

Professor.  Fallen  .''  {He  thinks  awhile  and 
suddenly  has  it.)  So  it  had  to  be,  too, —  a  fall 
had  to  take  place !  The  two  energies,  inas- 
much as  they  crossed  each  other,  had  to  pro- 
duce a  kind  of  interference.     Yes,  yes. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  am  only  sorry  \  ^ 
for  the  one  thing  that  we  did  not  get  a  \  -S 
complete  materialization.  But  neverthe-  1  ^ 
less  .  .  .  please,  into  the  front  room,  ladies  I  ^ 
and  gentlemen.  /  •? 

Fat  Lady.  What  struck  me  especially  /  ^ 
was  the  way  he  flapped  his  wings,  and  \  ^ 
that  one  could  see  him  rise. 

Grossmann  {to  SacJiatoff).     If  one  were 
dealing   only   with    hypnosis,    one    might 
produce  complete  epilepsy.     The  success  \   §0 
might  prove  complete.  |  -4,^ 

SacJiatoff.  Interesting,  but  not  abso-  /  -S 
lutely  convincing.     That  is  all  I  can  say.  /  ^ 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  157 


Scene  XXI, 

Leonid   Fedorovitch    with   the   document.      Fedor 
IvANiTCH  enters. 

Lcojiid  Fedorovitch.  Fedor,  it  was  a  semice 
—  wonderful !  It  is  clear  that  I  must  agree  to 
the  terras  of  the  peasants. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     Impossible ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  Certainly !  {He  sJtoivs 
the  document^  Just  think,  the  document  that 
I  gave  back  to  them  appears  suddenly  on  the 
table.     I  have  signed  it. 

Fedor  Fuanitch.     How  did  it  come  here  .-• 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     It  was  here.     {Exit.) 
(FEDOK  IWASITCH  follows  /lim) 


.    Scene  XXII. 

Tania  alone,  she  creeps  from  under  the  sofa  and  laughs. 

Tania.  O  thou  my  soul  !  Children,  chil- 
dren, the  fear  I  endured  when  he  snatched  after 
the  thread.  {She  squeals.)  But  —  it  succeeded 
—  he  has  sisrned. 


158  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  XXIII. 

Tania  and  Gregoki. 

Gregori.  So  you  have  played  a  hoax  on 
them  ? 

Tania.     What's  that  to  you  ? 

Gregori.  Well,  do  you  think  her  ladyship 
will  praise  you  for  it  ?  No,  there  you  make  a 
big  mistake ;  now  I've  got  you.  I  will  tell 
your  tricks  if  you  won't  do  as  I  want  you  to. 

Tauia.  I  shall  not  do  as  you  want,  and  they 
cannot  do  anything  against  me. 

{The  curtain  falls) 


ACT  IV. 

The  stage  represents  the  hall,  as  in  the  first  act. 

Scene  I. 

Two  footfiicn  in  livery,  Fedor  Ivanitch  and  Gregori. 

First  Footman  {^vith  gray  whiskers).  You  are 
the  third  to-day.  It's  lucky  the  reception  days 
are  all  in  the  same  neighborhood.  Yours  was 
formerly  Thursday. 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.  It  is  now  changed  to  Satur- 
day ;  so  that  they  all  come  on  the  same  day  : 
Golovkins,  Grade  of  Grabe  ... 

Second  Footman.  It's  fine  at  Tcherbakoff's  ; 
when  they  have  a  ball,  the  lackeys  also  are 
entertained. 

Scene  II. 

The  Same.  The  Princess  and  her  daughter  cotuing 
downstairs.  Betsy  accompanies  them  to  the  door. 
The  Princess  looks  into  a  little  note  book,  then  on 
her  watch,  and  sits  down  on  the  chest.  Gregori 
puts  on  her  overshoes. 

Princess^  Daughter.  No,  you  must  surely 
come.  If  you  decline,  Dodo  also  will  decline, 
—  and  then  it  won't  be  anything  at  all. 


i6o  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Betsy.  I  don't  know.  I  must  certainly  go 
to  Shubin's.     Then  we  have  rehearsal. 

Prmcess'  Daughter.  You  will  still  be  in 
time.  No,  you  must  indeed  come,  Ne  uous 
fats  pas  faux  bond.  Fedja  and  Koko  are  also 
there. 

Betsy.    J'  en  ai  par-dessus  la  tete  dc  votre  Coco. 

Princess'  Daughter.  I  expected  to  find  him 
here.     Ordinairemeiit  il  est  d'une  exactitude  ,  .  . 

Betsy.     He  will  surely  be  here  yet. 

Princess''  Daughter.  Whenever  I  see  him 
together  with  you,  I  imagine  he  must  have  just 
made  his  proposal  to  you,  or  that  he  is  just 
about  to  make  it. 

Betsy.  Yes,  I  shall  probably  have  to  go 
through  that  anyway.     Very  painful ! 

Princess'  Daughter.  Poor  Koko  !  He  is  so 
.enamoured. 

Betsy.     Cessez  ;  les  gens  ! 

{The  young  princess  seats  herself  on  the  causeuse  and 
talks  in  a  whisper.     Gregori  puts  on  her  overshoes.) 

Princess'  Daughter.     This  evening,  then. 

Betsy.     I  will  see. 

Princess.  Tell  your  papa,  then,  I  believe 
nothing ;  but  I  will  come  to  see  his  new 
medium.     He  must  only  let  me  know.     Fare- 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  l6l 

well,  ma  toute  belle.     {Kisses  her  and  leaves  with 

her  daughter) 

(Betsy  goes  upstairs.) 


Scene  III. 

The  two  footmen,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  and  Gregori. 

Gregori.  I  don't  like  to  put  on  old  ladies' 
shoes.  They  can't  bend,  can't  see  beyond  their 
belly,  and  always  step  aside ;  quite  different 
with  the  young  —  it  is  even  a  pleasure  only  to 
hold  in  one's  hand  such  a  pretty  foot. 

Second  Footman.  He  would  like  to  choose, 
he! 

First  Footman.  The  like  of  us  can't  choose 
much. 

Gregori.  Why  should  we  not  choose,  are  we 
cattle.-*  They  think  we  don't  understand  it ;  as 
they  were  just  getting  into  their  talk  and  looked 
over  to  me,  suddenly  it  was  :  lay  zhon  I 

Second  Footman.     And  what  does  that  mean  ? 

Gregori.  That  means :  don't  talk,  he  can 
understand  it.  Just  so  at  table ;  but  I  under- 
stand. You  say :  there  is  a  difference, —  I  tell 
you,  no  difference  at  all ! 

First  Footman.  A  great  difference,  one  must 
know  it. 


1 62  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Gregori.  No  difference  at  all.  To-day  I  am 
a  lackey,  but  to-morrow  perhaps  I  can  have  as 
good  a  living  as  they.  Also  lackeys  are  mar- 
ried, such  things  have  been  !  I  want  to  light  a 
cigarette.     {Exit.) 

Scene  IV. 

The  Same  except  GitiUiORi. 

Secoud  Footmaji.  That  young  man  puts  on  a 
big  front. 

Fedor  IvanitcJi.  A  vain  fellow,  unfit  for  ser- 
vice; he  was  once  in  business, —  there  he  was 
spoilt.  I  talked  against  him,  too,  but  her  lady- 
ship was  pleased  with  him, —  he  cuts  a  fine 
figure  on  the  carriage. 

First  Footman.  I  wish  he  were  with  our 
duke ;  he  would  make  things  plain  to  him. 
O,  he  just  delights  in  such  windbags!  Are 
you  a  lackey,  be  a  lackey,  do  what  is  your  duty ; 
these  airs  are  out  of-place. 

Scene  V. 

The  Same.  Pktkistcheff  comes  quickly  downstairs 
and  takes  out  a  cigarette.  KoKO  Klingen  enters, 
he  wears  his  eyeglasses^  and  goes  towards  him. 

P etristcheff  {lost  in  thought).  Yes,  yes.  My 
second  is  "Ka."     Karo.     My  whole  .  .  .  Yes, 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  163 

yes.  Ah,  little  Koko-Karo !  Where  do  you 
come  from  ? 

Klingen.  From  Tcherbakoff' s.  You  are 
always  full  of  nonsense.  .  .  . 

Petristcheff.  O  no,  listen,  a  charade.  My 
first  is  "  Ka,"  my  second  "  Kin,"  my  whole 
where  the  foxes  say  good  night  to  each  other. 

K'.ingen.  I  don't  know,  I  don't  know,  nor 
have  I  time. 

Petristcheff.  But  where  else  do  you  want 
to  go .'' 

Klingen.  Where  .■'  To  Ivin's,  there  is  to  be 
a  rehearsal  of  the  chorus.  Then  to  Shubin's, 
then  to  the  rehearsal  of  the  charade.  You 
must  sur.ely  also  be  there  } 

Petristcheff.  Certainly,  I  will  surely  be 
there.  .  .  .  Up  to  this  time  I've  acted  the  wild 
man,  now  I'll  act  the  wild  man  and^^o.  general. 

Klingen.  Tell  me,  how  was  it  at  yesterday's 
seance } 

Petristcheff.  It  was  killing  !  A  peasant  was 
there ;  but  the  best  thing  was  —  it  all  passed 
off  in  the  dark.  Wowo  bawled  like  a  baby,  the 
professor  kept  holding  forth,  and  Maria  Vassi- 
lievna  promptly  held  after.  It  was  killing ! 
Too  bad  you  were  not  there. 

Klingen.     I  am  afraid,  mon  cher.     You  know 


164  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

how  to  turn  everything  into  a  jest,  and  it  always 
strikes  me  as  if  the  least  thing  I  say  were  in- 
stantly set  down  as  meaning  a  formal  proposal, 
Et  qa  ne  in  arrange  pas  du  tout,  du  tout.  Mais 
du  tout,  du  tout  ! 

Petristcheff.  Make  a  proposal  to  the  noble 
house,  that's  nothing.  Come  with  me  to 
Wowo.  .  .  . 

Klingen.  I  cannot  understand  how  you  can 
in  any  way  have  anything  to  do  with  that  block- 
head. He  is  really  too  stupid, —  a  regular 
stick ! 

Petristcheff.  Well,  I  love  him.  I  love 
Wowo;  but  —  with  "that  strange  love,"  "to 
him  will  ever  wend  his  way  the  wanderer  "... 

{Exit  into  Vassili  Leoniditch's  room) 

Scene  VI. 

The  two  footmejt,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  Koko  Klingen. 
Betsy  accompanies  a  lady  to  the  door.  KoKO 
salutes  significantly. 

Betsy  {shaking  his  hand  in  passing ;  to  the 
lady).     You  are  not  acquainted  .-' 

Lady.     No. 

Betsy.  Baron  Klingen  !  How  is  it  you  were 
not  here  yesterday  ? 


TJie  Fruits  of  Culture  165 

Klingen.  It  was  impossible, —  I  could  not 
find  time. 

Betsy.  Too  bad,  it  was  exceedingly  interest- 
ing. {She  laughs.)  You  ought  just  to  have 
seen  the  manifestations. 

Betsy  {to  Klingen).  Come  along  to  mamma. 
(Betsy  and  Koko  Klingen  ^^  tipsiairs.) 

* 
Scene  VII. 

Fedor  Ivanitch,  the  two  footmen,  and  Jacoh  {comes 
from  the  buffet  holding  a  tt  ay  with  tea  and  a  roast  j 
he  walks  across  the  room,  pantitig). 

Jacob  {to  tJie  footnieu).  Your  humble  servant, 
your  humble  servant ! 

{The  footmen  salute  him.) 

Jacob  {to  Fedor  Ivanitch).  If  you  would  only 
ask  Gregori  Michailitch  to  help  me.  I  am  tired 
out  getting  things  ready.     {Exit.) 

Scene  VIII. 
The  Same  except  Jacob. 

First  Footman.  There's  a  willing  man  for 
you. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.     A  good  fellow,  but  her  lady- 


1 66  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

ship  takes  no  fancy  to  him, —  he  doesn't  rep- 
resent enough,  she  thinks.  And  yesterday, 
moreover,  they  slandered  him,  he  is  accused  of 
having  let  the  peasants  into  the  kitchen.  If 
they  only  would  not  discharge  him  !  And  the 
fellow  is  good. 

Second  Footman.     What  peasants  .? 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  They  came  from  our  village 
in  Kursk;  they  want  to  buy  land,  it  was  in  the 
night,  countrymen  besides.  One  is  the  father 
of  the  kitchen  boy.  So  they  were  taken  into 
the  kitchen.  Just  then  there  was  some  mind- 
reading  going  on  ;  the  gentlemen  had  hidden 
something  near  by,  every  one  came  down,  her 
ladyship  saw  them  —  and  the  mischief  was 
done !  What,  says  she,  these  people  may  be 
infected,  and  you  let  them  into  the  kitchen  !  .  .  . 
She  is  terribly  afraid  of  this  infection. 

Scene  IX. 

The  Same  and  Gregori. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Go  and  help  Jacob  Ivanitch, 
Gregori;  I'll  stay  here  alone.  But  he  cannot 
get  through  alone, 

Gregori.  He  is  awkward,  that's  why  he  can't 
get  through.     {Exit.) 


TJic  Fndts  of  Culture  167 

Scene  X. 
The  Same  except  Gregori. 

First  Footman.  ■  What  new  fashion  is  this 
now  again, —  this  infection!  .  .  .  Your  ladyship 
too  is  afraid  ? 

Fedor  fvanitch.  As  of  fire  !  In  this  house 
we  have  now  nothing  else  to  do  than  to  fumi- 
gate, scrub,  and  sprinkle. 

First  Footman.  That's  why  the  air  seemed 
so  oppressive  to  me  here.  {Lively.)  It  is  in- 
credible what  sins  spring  from  this  infection. 
It  is  horrible  !  As  if  there  were  no  God  !  At 
the  house  of  the  sister  of  our  master,  the  Prin- 
cess Massoloff,  the  daughter  lay  dying.  And 
what  happened  }  Neither  father  nor  mother 
would  enter  the  room,  to  say  the  last  farewell. 
The  daughter  wept,  she  bade  them  be  present 
at  the  parting, — they  came  not !  The  doctor 
had  discovered  an  infectious  disease.  And  yet 
there  were  people  in  the  room  with  her,  her 
maid  and  the  nurse, —  and  nothing  whatever 
happened  to  them  ;  both  are  quite  well. 


1 68  The  Fruits  of  Culture 


Scene  XI. 

The  Same,   Vassili   Leoniditch,  and  Petristcheff 
(come  through  the  door,  smoking  cigarettes). 

Petristcheff.  Do  come  along.  I  only  want 
to  look  in  at  little  Koko-Karo's. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  A  dunce,  your  little 
Koko  !  I  tell  you  I  can't  bear  the  fellow.  A 
vain  chap,  with  the  nature  of  a  typical  waiter. 
Nothing  but  roving  about  the  whole  day  long. 
Eh.? 

PetristcJieff.  Wait  then,  I  just  want  to  say 
good  bye. 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Very  well.  1  will  go 
look  after  the  dogs  in  the  coachmen's  room. 
The  one  hound  is  so  furious ;  the  coachman 
says  he  nearly  ate  him   up.     Eh  .'' 

PetristcJieff.  Which  ate  which.?  The  coach- 
man ate  the  hound .? 

Vassili  Leoniditch.  Your  eternal  .  .  .  {Exit 
taking  his  cloak) 

Petristcheff  {meditating).  .  .  .  Ma-kin-tosh, 
Ka-ro-li-na.     Yes,  correct.     {Exit  by  the  stairs.) 


'  The  Fruits  of  Culture  169 

Scene  XII. 

The  two  footmen,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  and  Jacob  {runs 
across  the  stage  at  the  opening  and  close  of  the  scene). 

Fedor  Ft'anitck  {to  Jacob).  What's  the  mat- 
ter ? 

Jacob.  They  are  out  of  sandwiches  !  I  had 
almost  said  .  .  .  {Exit.) 

Second  Footmaji.  And  besides,  our  young 
master  was  taken  ill.  He  was  at  once  taken  to 
the  hotel  with  the  nurse,  and  died  there,  too, 
without  his  mother. 

First  Footman.  How  little  fear  they  have  of 
sin  !     There  is  no  escaping  from  God. 

Fedor  Foanitch.     So  I  think  too. 

(Jacob  runs  upstairs  with  the  sandwiches^ 

First  Footman.  And  then  just  think,  if  we 
had  to  be  afraid  of  all  men,  we  would  have  to 
lock  ourselves  in  within  our  four  walls  and  stay 
there  as  in  a  prison 

Scene  XIII. 
The  Same  and  Tania,  then  Jacob. 

Tania  {salutes   the  footmaii).     Good   day  to 

you ! 

{The  footmen  bow.) 


170  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Tania.  Fedor  Ivanitch,  I  should  like  to 
speak  a  word  with  you. 

Fedor  Foanitdi.     Well,  what  is  it  ? 

Tania.  They  are  here  again^  Fedor  Ivanitch, 
the  peasants  .  .  . 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Well,  what  then  ?  I  gave 
the  paper  to  Semion. 

Tania.  I  have  given  them  the  paper ;  and 
how  grateful  they  are  I  cannot  tell  you.  Now 
they  only  ask  that  the  money  may  be  received. 

Fedor  Foanitch.     Where  are  they  } 

Tania.  Here,  they  are  standing  at  the  en- 
trance. 

Fedor  Fuauitch.     Very  well,  I  will  announce 

it. 

Tania.  But  I  have  still  another  request  to 
make  of  you,  dear  Fedor  Ivanitch. 

F'edor  Foanitch.     What  is  it  ? 

Tania.     You    see,  Fedor  Ivanitch,  I  do  not 

want  to  stay  here  any  longer.     Ask  them  for 

my  dismissal. 

(Jacob,  rushing  in.) 

Fedor  h>anitch    {to  Jacob).      What    do    you 
want } 
Jacob.     Another  samovar  and  oranges. 
Fedor  Ivanitch.     Ask  the  housekeeper. 

{Exit  jACOli,  in  a  hurry) 


The  Friiits  of  Culture  171 

Fedor  h'anitch.     And  why  ? 

Tania.  Why,  you  know !  My  affair  stands 
so  now  .  .  . 

Jacob  {rushhig  in).  There  are  not  enough 
oranges. 

Fedor  Ivanitch.  Serve  as  many  as  there  are. 
{Exit  Jacob,  in  a  kuriy.)  You  ha,ve  chosen 
your  time  badly :  you  see  in  what  a  commo- 
tion .  .  . 

Tania.  But  you  know  that  best  yourself, 
Fedor  Ivanitch,  the  commotion  never  ends 
here.  There  one  could  wait  a  long  time  — you 
know  that  best  of  any  —  and  my  affair  is  for 
life.  .  .  .  Dear  Fedor  Ivanitch,  you  have  been 
so  good  to  me,  be  my  real  father  now ;  do  find 
a  quarter  of  an  hour  to  tell  it  in.  Otherwise 
she  will  get  angry  and  not  give  me  my  book. 

Fedor  h'anitch.     But  what's  the  hurry } 

Tania.  But  I  beg  of  you,  Fedor  Ivanitch. 
The  affair  is  arranged  now.  ...  I  would  like  to 
go  to  my  mother  and  to  my  godmother  first 
and  prepare  this  thing  and  that.  And  immedi- 
ately after  Easter  the  wedding  is  to  be.  Do 
tell  it,  dear  Fedor  Ivanitch  ! 

Fedor  Foanitch.  Let  me  alone  now, —  this  is 
not  the  proper  place. 


1/2  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  XIV. 

An  old  gentleman  comes  downstairs  and  silently  leaves 
•with  the  second  footman.  Exit  Tania.  Fedor 
\yAiiiTCii,frstfootfnan,  and  Jacob  (coming), 

yacob.  It  is  really  sad  !  Now  she  wants  to 
send  me  ,away,  Fedor  Ivanitch.  "  You  break 
everything,"  she  says,  "  neglect  Fifka ;  you 
also  allowed  the  peasants  to  come  into  the 
kitchen  against  my  orders."  And  you  know 
best  of  all  that  I  had  no  idea  of  the  whole 
affair.  Tatiana  says  to  me  :  "Take  them  to  the 
kitchen  "  ;  how  can  I  know  who  gave  the  order  .'' 
Fedor  Ivanitch.  What,  is  that  what  she  said  "i 
Jacob.  Just  this  minute  she  said  so.  Do 
speak  a  word  for  me,  Fedor  .Ivanitch !  As 
soon  as  one's  wife  and  children  begin  to  fare 
a  little  better,  the  order  comes,  go  find  your- 
self another  place ;  God  knows  when  I  can  find- 
one.     Please  do  it,  Fedor  Ivanitch  ! 

Scene  XV. 

Fedor  lvxi<in:cn,frstfoottnan,  and  Her  Ladyship  ac- 
company  to  the  door  an  old  countess  with  false  hair 
and  teeth.  The  first  footman  wraps  the  countess  in 
her  cloak. 

Her  Ladyship.     Absolutely,  to   be  sure.     I 
am  deeply  affected. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  173 

Countess.  If  my  health  would  permit,  I 
should  come  to  see  you  oftener. 

Her  Ladyship.  I  tell  you,  have  Peter  Petro- 
vitch;  he  is  a  little  blunt,  but  no  man  under- 
stands so  well  how  to  quiet  one ;  everything  is 
so  simple,  so  clear  with  him. 

Countess.     No,  no.     I  am  used  to  this  now. 

Her  Ladyship.     Take  care. 

Countess.     Merci,  tnille  fois  merci. 


Scene  XVI. 

The  Same  and  Gregori  {comes  running  out  of  the  buffet 
excited  and  with  dishevelled  hair.  Semion  visible 
in  the  rear). 

Semion.     Don't  you  run  after  her  now  ! 

Gregori.  I'll  teach  you,  rascal  —  to  strike  ! 
You'll  see,  miserable  wretch  ! 

Her  Ladyship.  What  does  this  mean  .''  Do 
you  think  you  are  in  a  tavern  .-' 

Gregori.  I  cannot  stand  it  with  this  coarse 
peasant  rowdy.  . 

Her  Ladyship  {annoyed).  Are  you  crazy, 
don't  you  see  .''  {To  the  countess^  Merci,  mille 
fois  merci.     A  mardi  ! 

(Exeunt  Countess  and  first  footman^ 


174  The  Fruits  of  Culture 


Scene  XVII. 

Fedor    Ivanitch,    Her    Ladyship,    Gregori,    and 
Semion. 

Her  Ladyship  {to  Gregori).  What  has  hap- 
pened ? 

Gregori.  Even  if  I  am  only  a  lackey,  I  have 
some  pride  and  won't  let  every  peasant  touch 
me. 

Her  Ladyship.  But  what  has  happened, 
then } 

Gregori.  Your  Semion  is  putting  on  airs 
because  he  has  sat  in  the  same  room  with  your 
lordships.     He  feels  like  striking. 

Her  Ladyship.  What  does  that  mean,  what 
for.? 

Gregori.     God  knows. 

Her  Ladyship  {to  Semion).  What  in  all  the 
world  does  this  mean  .? 

Semion.     Why  does  he  always  run  after  her } 

Her  Ladyship.  Well,  now,  what  is  it  that 
has  happened  between  you  two  ? 

Semion  {smiling).  Well,  he  is  always  em- 
bracing Tania,  the  chambermaid,  and  she  does 
not  want  that.  So  I  pushed  him  aside,  this 
way,  so  .  .  .  very  gently  with  the  hand. 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  175 

Gregori.  A  nice  way  to  push  one  aside  ;  he 
almost  broke  my  ribs.  And  my  dress-coat  he 
tore !  And  what  does  he  say  ?  The  force 
came  over  me,  he  says,  just  like  yesterday. 
And  with  that  he  chokes  me. 

Her  Ladyship  {to  Seviion).  How  can  you 
dare  to  fight  in  my  house } 

Fcdor  Ivanitch.  Permit  me  to  say  one  word, 
Anna  Pavlovna.  You  must  know  that  Semion 
has  an  affection  for  Tania,  and  now  they  are 
engaged.  Gregori,  however, —  I  must  indeed 
speak  the  truth  —  does  not  act  well,  not  prop- 
erly.    And  Semion,  I  think,  was  hurt  by  that. 

Gregori.  Not  at  all ;  merely  out  of  rage, 
because  I  revealed  her  tricks. 

Her  Ladyship.     What  tricks  } 

Gregori.  At  the  seance.  All  yesterday's 
performances  were  made  by  Tania,  not  Semion. 
I  saw  with  my  own  eyes  how  she  crept  out 
from  under  the  sofa. 

Her  Ladyship.  What  does  that  mean,  crept 
out  from  under  the  sofa } 

Gregori.  Upon  my  honor.  She  also  had  the 
paper  and  threw  it  on  the  table.  Without  her 
the  paper  would  not  have  been  signed,  and  the 
land  would  not  have  been  sold  to  the  peasants. 

Her  Ladyship.     You  saw  it  yourself .'' 


1/6  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Gregori.     With  my  own  eyes.     Just  have  her 
called,  she  will  not  cleny  it. 
Her  Ladyship.     Call  her! 

{Exit  Gregori.) 


Scene  XVIII. 

The  Sa7ne  except  Gregori.  Noise  behind  the  scene;  the 
voice  of  the  steward:  '■^  It  won't  do j  it  won't  do ! " 
The  steward  becomes  visible;  the  three  peasants 
crowd  past  hitii  on  to  the  stage.  The  second  peasant 
first  J  the  third  peasant  stumbles,  falls,  and  puts  his 
hand  to  his  nose. 

Steward.     It  won't  do  ;  away  ! 

Second  Peasant.  O,  now,  there  is  no  harm 
in  it.  We  don't  want  anything  bad.  We  only 
want  to  pay  the  money. 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  now  with  the  per- 
sonal signature  the  business  is  completed,  and 
we  only  wanted  to  bring  the  money  and  to 
offer  our  thanks. 

Her  Ladyship.  Just  wait,  just  wait  with 
your  thanks,  it  is  all  a  fraud.  The  affair  is  not 
settled  yet.  The  sale  is  not  yet  completed. 
Leonid!     Go  call  Leonid  Fedorovitch. 

{Exit  steward.) 


The  Fruits  of  Ciilttire  177 

Scene  XIX. 

The  Same  ami  Leonid  Fedorovitch  comes ;  when  he 
sees  Her  Ladyship  and  the  peasa?its,  he  tries  to 
withdraw. 

Her  Ladyship.  No,  no,  I  beg  you,  come 
here !  I  told  you  that  land  is  not  sold  on 
credit,  and  everybody  told  you  so.  But  you 
allow  yourself  to  be  cheated  like  the  biggest 
fool. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  How  cheated  "i  I  don't 
understand,  what  fraud  are  you  talking  about } 

Her  Ladyship.  You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of 
yourself.  You  have  gray  hair  and  allow  your- 
self to  be  cheated  like  a  schoolboy,  and  to  be 
led  by  the  nose.  You  begrudge  your  son  three 
hundred  beggarly  roubles  when  his  social  po- 
sition is  at  stake,  and  allow  yourself  to  be  duped 
like  a  silly  schoolboy  and  swindled  out  of  thou- 
sands. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  beg  you,  Annette, 
compose  yourself. 

First  Peasant.  We  only  came,  so  to  speak, 
to  pay  the  sum  .  .  . 

Third  Peasant  {takes  out  the  money).  Finish 
this  up  with  us,  for  Christ's  sake  ! 

Her  Ladyship.     Just  wait  yet,  just  wait, 


178  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene  XX. 

The  Same,  Gregori  and  Tania. 

Her  LadysJiip  {severely  to  Tania).  Were  you 
in  the  little  reception  room  yesterday  evening 
during  the  stance  f 

(Tania  sighs,  looks  aro7ind for  Fkuor  Ivanitch,  Leonid 
Fedorovitch,  and  Semion.) 

Gregori.  No  shuffling  can  help  you  here ;  I 
saw  myself  .  .  . 

Her  Ladyship.  Tell  me,  were  you  there  ?  I 
know  everything,  confess.  Nothing  will  be 
done  to  you.  I  only  want  to  unmask  him 
{pointing  to  Leonid  Ftdoro^'itch),  the  master 
here  .  .  ,  Did  you  throw  the  paper  on  the  table  } 

Tania.  I  do  not  know  what  I  am  to  say.  I 
only  ask  whether  you  can  give  me  my  dismissal. 

Her  L^ady ship  {to  Leonid  Fedorovitcli).  There 
you  see  at  least  that  you  are  being  duped. 

Scene  XXI. 

The  Satiie.     Betsy  enters  at  the  beginning  of  the  scene, 
and  remains  standing  unobserved. 

Tania.     My  dismissal,  Anna  Pavlovna  ! 
Her  Ladyship.     No,   my    child !     You    have 
perhaps  don^   a   damage   amounting   to  many 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  179 

thousands.  Now  land  has  been  sold  which 
ought  not  to  have  been  sold. 

Ta?tia.     My  dismissal,  Anna  Pavlovna! 

Her  Ladyship.  No,  you  must  confess.  Such 
tricks  must  not  be  played.  I  will  place  the 
affair  in  the  hands  of  a  justice  of  the  peace. 

Betsy  {cofning  forward).  Dismiss  her,  mam- 
ma. But  if  you  want  to  sue  her,  you  must  sue 
me  also, —  for  we  did  everything  together  yes- 
terday. 

Her  Ladyship.  If  you  were  in  it  also,  surely 
nothing  good  could  come  of  it. 


Scene  XXII. 
The  Same  and  the  Professor. 

Professor.  How  do  you  do,  Anna  Pavlovna  .-• 
How  do  you  do,  gracious  Miss }  For  you, 
Leonid  Fedorovitch,  I  have  brought  the  report 
of  the  thirteenth  Spiritualist  Congress  at  Chi- 
cago.    A  grand  speech  by  Smith. 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.     Ah,    very    interesting ! 

Her  Ladyship.  I  can  tell  you  something 
much  more  interesting.  It  has  come  out  that 
you  and  my  husband  have  been  duped  by  this 
silly  thing  here.  Betsy  says  she  is  to  blame  ; 
but  that's  only  to  hurt  me  ;    in  reality  a  silly 


i8o  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

thing  who  can  neither  read  ripr  write  has  made 
fools  of  you  both,  and  you  beheve  in  it !  Your 
mediumistic  phenomena  of  yesterday  are  pure 
fiction  ;  {pointing  to  Tanid)  this  girl  here  did 
everything. 

Professor  {taking  off  his  wraps).  What,  that 
is  to  say  ? 

Her  Ladyship.  Yes,  that  is  to  say  she  played 
on  the  guitar  in  the  dark,  she  struck  my  hus- 
band on  the  head,  she  made  all  your  nonsense, 
and  has  just  now  confessed  it. 

Professor  {smiling).  And  this  is  to  prove 
then .? 

Her  Ladyship.  That  proves  that  your  me- 
diumism  is  —  pure  nonsense !  That  proves 
it! 

Professor.  Because  this  girl  intended  to  de- 
ceive, therefore  mediumism  must  be  —  pure 
nonsense,  as  it  pleases  you  to  express  yourself  .-* 
{Smiling.)  Strange  logic  !  It  may  indeed  be 
possible  that  the  girl  did  intend  to  deteive,  such 
things  happen  now  and  then  ;  it  is  also  possible 
that  she  did  something — what  she  did  was 
neither  more  nor  less  than  a  manifestation  of 
the  mediumistic  energy  —  a  manifestation  of 
the  mediumistic  energy.  It  is  even  very  prob- 
able  that  what    this   girl  did    called  forth  the 


The  Fruits  of  Culture  i8i 

manifestation  of  the  mediumistic  energy,  solic- 
ited it,  so  to  speak,  gave  it  a  definite  form. 

Her  Ladyship.     Another  lecture  !  .  .  . 

Professor  {severely).  You  say,  Anna  Pav- 
lovna,  that  this  girl,  and  perhaps  also  this  amia- 
ble young  lady,  did  something,  but  the  flashes 
that  we  all  saw,  the  fall  of  the  temperature  in 
the  one,  the  rise  in  the  other  case,  Grossmann's 
excitement  and  vibrating  motion,  how,  did  the 
girl  do  these  also  ?  And  these  are  facts,  Anna 
Pavlovna,  facts !  No,  Anna  Pavlovna,  there 
are  things  which  must  be  carefully  examined 
and  thoroughly  understood  before  talking  about 
them;  far  too  serious  things,  far  too  serious  .  .  . 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  And  the  child  whom 
Maria  Vassilievna  plainly  saw.  And  I  saw  it 
also.  .  .  .  The  g?rl.  could  not  have  made  that  .-* 

Her  Ladyship.  You  imagine  yourself  to  be 
God  knows  how  clever,  and  you  are  —  a  fool  ! 

Leonid  Fedorovitch.  I  am  going ;  Alexei 
Vladimirovitch,  come  to  my  room  with  me. 
{Exit  to  J  lis  study) 

Professor  {shrugs  his  shoulders  and  follozvs 
him).  Yes,  how  far  behind  Europe  we  still 
are  ! 


1 82  The  Fruits  of  Ctitture 


Scene  XXIII. 

Her  Ladyship,  the  three  peasants,  Fedor  Ivanitch, 
Tania,  Betsy,  Gregori,  Semion,  a«^  Jacob. 

Her  LadysJiip  {calling  after  Leonid  Fedoro- 
vitcJi).  He  allows  himself  to  be  cheated  like  a 
fool,  and  does  not  want  to  see  it.  {To  Jacob.) 
What  do  you  want .'' 

Jacob.  For  how  many  do  you  want  me  to  set 
the  table  ? 

Her  LadysJiip.  How  many.?  .  .  .  Fedor  Ivan- 
itch,  have  him  deliver  the  silver  to  you !  Out 
with  you,  immediately !  He  is  to  blame  for 
everything.  This  fellow  will  yet  bring  me 
to  my  grave.  '  Yesterday  he  almost  let  the 
doggy  starve  who  had  done  him  no  harm. 
That  was  not  enough  :  yesterday  he  also  sent 
the  pestilential  peasants  into  the  kitchen,  and 
now  they  are  here  again.  He  is  to  blame  for 
everything.  ,  Out  with  you,  out  with  you  on  the 
spot !  Settle  his  accounts  with  him,  settle  his 
accounts  with  him  !  {To  Semion.)  And  if  you 
ever  allow  yourself  again  to  raise  a  tumult  in 
my  house,  I'll  teach  you,  you  miserable  peas- 
ant! 

Second  Peasant.     Well,  if  he  is  a  miserable , 


The  Fruits  of  Cicliure  183 

peasant,  you  need  not  keep  him  at  all,  settle 
with  him,  and  done  with  it  ! 

Her  Ladyship  {ivhile  listening  to  him,  she  looks 
closely  at  the  third  peasant).  Just  look  here ! 
This  one  has  an  eruption  on  his  nose,  an  erup- 
tion !  He  is  sick  !  a  hotbed  of  disease !  !  Did 
I  not  say  even  yesterday  that  they  were  not  to 
be  let  in,  and  now  they  are  here  again.  Drive 
them  out ! 

Fedor  FoanitcJi.  What,  shall  we  not  take 
their  mone^  ? 

Her  Ladyship.  Their  money  ?  Take  the 
money,  but  they  themselves,  especially  this 
sick  one  here,  away,  away  at  once  !  He  is  lep- 
rous from  top  to  toe  ! 

Third  Peasant.  Entirely  unfounded,  little 
mother,  as  sure  as  there  is  a  God,  entirely 
unfounded.  Just  ask,  I  say,  my  wife.  I  lep- 
rous ?     I'm  as  smooth  as  glass. 

Her  Ladyship.  And  he  dares  keep  on  talk- 
ing!  .  .  .  Away,  away!  Just  all  to  spite  me! 
No..  I  can't  any  more,  I  can't  any  more.  Call 
Peter  Petrovitch,     {Runs  out  sobbing.) 

{Exeunt  Jacob  and  Gregori) 


184  The  Fruits  of  Culture 

Scene    XXIV.    ' 
The  Same  except  Her  Ladyship,  Jacob,  and  Grkgori. 

Tania  {to  Betsy).  My  dear  gracious  Miss, 
what  is  to  become  of  me  now? 

Betsy.  Just  be  calm,  be  calm.  Ride  away 
with  them,  I  will  see  to  all  the  rest.     {Exit.) 

Scene   XXV. 

Fedor   Ivanitch,  the  three  peasafits,   Tania,  and  the 
steward. 

First  Peasant.  How  is  it  with  the  payment 
now.  Sir.? 

Second  Peasant.     Settle  up  with  us. 

Third  Peasant  {fidgeting  with  the  money). 
One  ought  to  have  known  that ;  for  all  my  life  I 
would  not  have  undertaken  it.  That  takes  one 
down  more  than  a  malignant  fever. 

Fedor  Ivanitch  {to  the  stezvard).  Take  them 
to  my  room ;  that  is  where  the  counting  ma- 
chine is.  There  I  will  also  receive  the  money. 
Go,  go. 

Steward.     Come,  come  ! 

Fedor  FoatiitcJi.  And  offer  your  thanks  to 
Tania !  Without  her  you  could  not  have  got- 
ten the  land. 


The  Fruits  of  Ctiltiwe  185 

First  Peasant.  Real-ly,  just  as  she  promised 
she  also  carried  it  out. 

Third  Peasant.  She  has  made  human  beings 
of  us.  What  would  have  become  of  us  other- 
wise .''  The  land  is  small,  not  a  hen,  I  say, —  to 
say  nothing  of  cattle, —  has  room.  Good  bye, 
clever  girl !  Once  in  the  village,  come  to  me  to 
eat  honey. 

Second  Peasant.  Just  let  me  get  home  ;  I'll 
set  about  the  wedding  at  once  and  brew  beer. 
Only  come  soon  ! 

Tania.  I'll  come,  I'll  come !  {Squeals.) 
Semion,  wasn't  that  nice } 

{Exeunt  peasants.) 

Scene  XXVI. 
Fedor  Ivanitch,  Tama,  and  Semion. 

Fedor  Foanitch..  May  God  be  with  you ! 
And  now  remember,  Tania,  when  you  have 
your  own  home,  I  will  come  to  you  as  a  guest. 
Will  you  receive  me  .-• 

Tania.  My  dear,  good  Fedor  Ivanitch,  like 
my  own  father  I  will  receive  you.  {SJie  em- 
braces and  kisses  him.) 

{The  curtain  falls.) 
THE  END. 


*^A  novel  that  has  no  equivalent  in  the  literature  of  thii 
century!''' —  Charles  Monselet. 

my  UDGle  Benjamin. 

A   HUMOROUS,  SATIRICAL,  AND  PHILOSOPHICAL  NOVEL. 

By  CLAUDE  TILLIER. 

TRANSLATED  FROM  THE  FRENCH  BY 

BENJ.  R.  TUCKER. 

WITH  A  SKETCH  OF  THE  AUTHOR'S  LIFE  AND  WORKS  BY 

LUDWIC   PFAU. 

This  novel,  though  it  has  enjoyed  the  honor  of  three  translations  into  German,  has 
never  before  been  translated  into  English.  It  is  one  of  the  most  delightfully  witty 
works  ever  written.  Almost  every  sentence  excites  a  laugh.  It  is  thoroughly  realistic, 
but  not  at  all  repulsive.  Its  satirical  treatment  of  humanity's  foibles,  and  its  jovial  but 
profound  philosophy,  have  won  its  author  the  title  of  "  the  modern  Rabelais.'' 


PRESS   NOTICES. 

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this  country  this  year." 

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it  should  have  remained  so  long  without  having  been  given  a  setting  in  English.  .  .  . 
It  is  wonderfully  absorbing  in  interest.     Its  humor  and  its  pathos  are  equally  keen." 

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makes  mock  of  marriage  for  money,  reveals  the  fountain  of  kindness,  and  shows  the 
gullibility  of  human  credulity." 

Richmond  Despatch. — "This  book  truly  may  be  called  a  'find.'  It  is  worthy  to 
rank  with  'Tom  Jones,'  'Tristram  Shandy,'  Goldsmith's  '  Vicar,'  '  Don  Quixote,'  and 
'Pickwick  '  in  wit,  humor,  satire,  and  philosophy.      'My  Uncle  Benjamin  '  is  a  classic." 

Detroit  Free  Press.—"  One  of  the  cleverest  books  that  has  come  from  the  Ameri- 
can press  this  year.     As  a  character  study  it  is  beyond  all  praise." 

Boston  fVoman's  Journal. — "  This  story  is  lively,  sardonic,  witty,  and  superficial. 
It  will  delight  a  certain  class  of  readers  because  it  is  reckless,  and  another  class  because 
it  is  blasphemous." 

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312  LARGE  PAGES. 

PMce:  In  cloth,  $1.00;  in  paper,  50  cents. 

Sent  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by  the  Publisher, 

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^^ Better  than  I"  wrote  Victor  Hugo  to  Felix  Pyat,  '■^you  have  proved 
the  royalty  of  genius  and  the  divinity  of  love" 


A  RIVAL  OF  "LES  MISERABLES." 

The  BflG-PicKER  of  Paris 

By  FELIX    PYAT. 

TRANSLATED    FROM   THE   FRENCH    BY 

BENJ.  R.  TUCKER. 

This  masterpiece  of  fiction  was  originally  written  as  a  play,  and  as 
such  achieved  the  greatest  success  known  to  the  French  ^tage.  Re- 
cently, and  just  before  his  death,  the  author  elaborated  his  play  into  a 
novel,  in  which  form  it  presents  a  complete  panorama  of  the  Paris  of  the 
present  century. 

What  Great  Critics  think  of  it. 

Heinrieh  Heine. — "The  passion  of  Shakspere  and  the  reason  of  Moli&re." 

Alexandre  Dumas  {\.o  the  author). — "You  have  killed  Frederic  Lemaitre  for  us. 
After  his  Father  Jean  in  'The  Rag-picker  of  Paris,'  he  can  create  no  other  role." 

Victoria,  Queen  of  EnglatuHXo  the  Actor  Lemaitre,  after  seeing  him  play  in  the 
piece). — "  Is  there,  then,  such  misery  in  the  Faubourg  St.  Antoine?" 

Fridiric  Lemaitre  (in  reply). — "  It  is  the  Ireland  of  Paris."  ' 

TlUophiU  Gautier. — "  The  work  of  a  Titan. " 

Sainte-Beuve. — "The  paragon  of  the  democratic-republican  school." 

Victor  Hugo. — "  A  fortunate  drama,  come  late  enough  to  represent  the  whole 
people."  

325  LARGE  PAGES. 
Price:  In  cloth,  $1.00;  in  paper,  50  cents. 

The  cloth  edition  contains  as  a  frontispiece  a  fine   portrait  of  the  author. 
Sent,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by  the  Publisher, 

BENJ.  R.  TUCKER,     -     -     Box  3366, 

BOSTON,  MASS. 


SIXTY-SECOND  THOUSAND. 


TIiB  KiEUtZEi  Sonata. 

By  count  LEO  TOLSTOI. 


PRESS  NOTICES. 

The  Critic,  Neiv  York. — "  One  hardly  dares  speak  of  the  '  Kreutzer  Sonata.*  It  is 
like  a  moral  earthquake,  shattering  the  very  foundations  on  which  society  is  built,  and 
causing  the  ground  to  crumble  beneath  our  feet.  So  daring  a  treatment  of  a  daring 
theme  has  never  before  been  attempted  in  literature.  Nothing  has  ever  been  given  to 
the  world  quite  like  this  tremendous  object-lesson  projected  on  the  canvas  in  colossal 
proportions,  with  every  shadow  deepened,  every  line  magnified  and  brought  into  appall- 
ing relief." 

Kate  Field^s  Washington. — "Why  is  '  The  Kreutzer  Sonata '  prohibited  ?  I  am  at 
a  loss  to  imagine,  unless  it  be  that  Tolstoi  has  told  the  truth  —  very  brutally  —  about  a 
very  brutal  condition  of  things.  If  it  be  a  crime  to  tell  the  truth,  of  course  Tolstoi 
should  be  suppressed.     But  is  it?" 

Buffalo  Courier. — "  That  singular  code  of  morals  which  too  many  men  hold,  that 
they  may  indulge  in  shameful  license,  and  still  call  themselves  by  the  '  grand  old  name 
of  gentleman,'  while  their  sisters  and  sweethearts  must  be  utterly  pure  in  their  lives  and 
conduct,  receives  a  stunning  rebuke  in  this  work." 

Boston  Transcript. — "  It  is  probably  one  of  the  most  moral  books  ever  written.  .  .  . 
As  children  sit  spellbound,  frozen  to  the  spot,  though  desiring  to  fly,  through  the  reading 
of  the  '  Ancient  Mariner,'  so  this  generation  of  ours,  which  has  strong  moral  impulses, 
but  feels,  nevertheless,  a  weight  as  of  death  about  its  neck,  must  listen  to  this  grim  story 
of  the  great  Russian  novelist  and  prose  poet,  whether  it  likes  it  or  not." 

St.  Louis  Republic. — "The  peculiarity  and  audacity  of  Tolstoi'  is  that  he  has  taken 
this  subject  out  of  its  usual  dress  of  secret  or  semi-medical  advice  'for  private  circula- 
tion only,'  and  clothed  it  in  the  garb  of  fiction,  intended  for  universal  reading." 


2i^="The  edition  published  by  Benj.  R.  Tucker  is  the  only  complete 
and  correct  edition  published  in  America. 


Price:  In  cloth,  $1.00;  in  paper,  50  cents. 

Sent,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by  the  Publisher, 

BENJ.  R.  TUCKER,     -     -     Box  3366, 

BOSTON,  MASS. 


What's  To  Be  Done? 

A  NIHILISTIC   ROMANCE. 

By   N.   G.   TCHERNYCHEWSKY. 

WITH    A    PORTRAIT    OF     THE    AUTHOR. 


WRITTEN    IN    PRISON. 


SUPPRESSED     BY    THE     CZAR. 


The  Author  over  Twenty  Years  an  Exile  in  Siberia. 


PRESS  COMMENTS. 

Boston  Advertiser. — "To  call  the  book  the  'Uncle  Tom's  Cabin  '  of  Nihilism  is 
scarcely  extravagance." 

Boston  Cow ier—''  it  is  perhaps  the  book  which  has  most  powerfu'ly  influenced 
the  youth  of  Russia  in  their  growth  into  Nihilism  " 

Providence  Star. — "As  a  revelation  of  folk  lite  it  is  invaluable:  we  have  no  other 
Russian  pictures  that  compare  with  it." 


329  LARGE  PAGES. 
Price:  In  cloth,  $1.00;  in  paper,  35  cents. 

Sent,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  price,  by  the  Publisher, 

BENJ.  R.  TUCKER,     -     -      Box  3366, 

BOSTON,  MASS. 


